Talk:Frederick Morrell Zeder/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 18:32, 3 May 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• No need to link engineer and it creates a confusing sea of blue.

•  Done

• " Allis-Chalmers and Studebaker" context, what are/were these organisations?

•  Done

• "rubber motor mounts" link.

•  Done

• "core engineering people that" people reads odd to me, perhaps team?

•  Done

• "the present day" hyphenate in this usage.

•  Done

• "He came up with innovations like " -> "His innovations included"

•  Done

• "Then his family lived in Bay City, Michigan" by Then do you mean "at that time" or "subsequently"?

•  Done

• "Zeder had four brothers... " use first name here as lots of Zeders have been noted previously.

•  Done

• Link "public schools" because that means something different in the UK.

•  Done

• ""was as a helper being a machinist's" -> "was as a machinist's"

•  Done

• "Bay City (manufacturer of" -> "Bay City, a manufacturer of..."

•  Done

• "a railroad call boy (waking up the train crew in the morning) for" no italics and perhaps: "a railroad call boy, responsible for waking up the train crew in the morning, for"

•  Done

• "Central Railroad.[6] He oversaw railroad" -> "Central Railroad where he oversaw railroad"

•  Done

• "to have them oiled " ->" ensuring they were"

•  Done

• "In high school" -> "While at high school"

•  Done

• "public high school Bay City" odd way round? or missing word?

•  Done

• "Zeder went to the" attended?

•  Done

• "Bachelor of Science" could link.

•  Done

• "apprentice" is overlinked.

•  Done

• "This is where " -> "There"

•  Done

• "met Carl Breer" context, how, in what capacity?

•  Done

• "such a student and was from Stanford University." so he was studying a second degree? Or a post-grad course/doctorate?

•  Done

• "friends in their" during.

•  Done

• "the E-M-F Company in" context, what did this company do?

•  Done

• "brothers (wagon builders) took" what do you mean?

•  Done

• "he was Studebaker's" he was or became?

•  Done

• "and was about to be bankrupt" -> "and was close to bankruptcy."

•  Done

• "In 1914 Zeder enticed Breer to come over" this seems to have gone back in the narrative.

•  Done

• "transmitting its power to the wheels " do you mean transmissions?

•  Done

• ""The Three Musketeers" of Studebaker and Willys—Zeder, Skelton, and Breer—" you don't need to repeat this definition of the Three Musketeers.

•  Done

• "became the heart of"" not encyclopedic in tone.

•  Done

• "credited Frederick Zeder" no need for Frederick.

•  Done

• "an air flow design" why italics? And what does it mean?

•  Done

• "car. It was to demonstrate" merge. And I don't think "purr of the motor" is encyclopedic.

•  Done

• ISBNs all formatted differently - make consistent.

•  Done

That's sufficient for a first review, on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 16:30, 5 May 2021 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: I see you have been practicing your English. You are getting very good at it. (hehehehehe)

All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. -Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:36, 5 May 2021 (UTC)

On my to-do list for tomorrow Doug, cheers! The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 20:38, 5 May 2021 (UTC)

• Infobox says he was a Democrat but that's not referenced or mentioned anywhere else.

•  Done = removed.

• Link Bay City, Michigan in the prose.

•  Done

• "then got a job at" ->"then employed by"

•  Done

• Link Millwaukee.

•  Done

• Link Detroit.

•  Done

• "The Studebaker brothers (wagon builders)" again, what? Do you "... brothers, who were wagon builders, ..."? And what sort of wagons?

•  Done

• "1924 Chrysler B-70 Touring Cars" any reason touring cars is capitalised? Is that their formal name?

•  Done

• Convert 68 horsepower.

•  Done

• Convert two feet.

•  Done

• Convert "eighth of an inch"

•  Done

That's it. Sorry I missed some of these on the first pass. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 07:06, 6 May 2021 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: All additional issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:08, 6 May 2021 (UTC)

Ok, it's promoted, cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 15:33, 6 May 2021 (UTC)