Talk:Freemasonry/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Folklore1 (talk · contribs) 16:40, 7 January 2014 (UTC)

As I perform the review, I will update the following table. Please look below the table for my questions and comments. Folklore1 (talk) 16:40, 7 January 2014 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
	1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	See notes about improvements to Christianity and Freemasonry, and Political opposition sections.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
	2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	See notes about improvements to References
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Dead links repaired
	2c. it contains no original research.
	3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	sufficiently broad coverage
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	text relevant to subject
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	consistently neutral tone
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Major edits completed in December 2013, see Quibbles on talk page.
	6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	3 share alike, 4 public domain images
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	relevant images with suitable captions
	7. Overall assessment.

Christianity and Freemasonry

I suggest changing "It states in part:" to "It states:". Use of "in part" to quote a portion of a source is unnecessary and confusing. Folklore1 (talk) 13:45, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

The sentence beginning with "However, Pike" is grammatically correct, but awfully long and complex. Breaking it into two sentences would make it easier to read. Folklore1 (talk) 13:53, 8 January 2014 (UTC) Done

Use of present tense in the phrase "appears to harbour some reservations" gives the impression that the former archbiship may still have issues with Freemasonry. Should the sentence be revised? Folklore1 (talk) 14:07, 8 January 2014 (UTC) Done

Islam and Freemasonry

I inserted a paragraph break at a point where it looks like one was intended. There was a gap in the text visible only in edit mode, which also seemed a logical break point for reading clarity. Please take a look at the rest of the text; there were two other gaps in the text which could be intended paragraph breaks. Folklore1 (talk) 14:24, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

Political opposition

Upper and lower case are applied inconsistently ("Lodge" or "lodge") in this section. Folklore1 (talk) 14:36, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

References

The reference to "Provincial Grand Lodge of East Lancashire" incorrectly displays the publisher name of the source rather than its title, "Materials: Papers and Speakers". This condition can be corrected by recording the title (Materials: Papers and Speakers) inside the brackets with the url, and recording the publisher (Provincial Grand Lodge of East Lancashire) outside the brackets. Alternatively, you could use the Wikipedia citation templates to assure a consistent style in references. Folklore1 (talk) 15:14, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

The reference to "Grand lodge of British Columbia and Yukon" should be titled "Brethren, please be upstanding". Folklore1 (talk) 15:16, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

"Masonic Dictionary" is the name of the work (website) where the source was published. "Past Master" should be displayed as the source's title. Folklore1 (talk) 15:22, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

"GADLU" also displays the name of the work where the title belongs. As the source article has a specific date--something too often omitted from website articles--I recommend including that date in the reference. Dates can be helpful in locating an article in whatever archive it was moved to when a url link goes dead, a frequent concern with website references. Folklore1 (talk) 15:31, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

I had to visit the source of "For instance" to learn the actual title of the article. Please use quotation marks to identify the titles of newspaper, magazine, and website articles. The names of the work (magazine name, website name) where an article is published should be italicized. Folklore1 (talk) 15:42, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

Several references lack quotation marks for the titles of magazine, newspaper and website articles. Several do not italicize the titles of books, magazines and newspapers. Folklore1 (talk) 16:24, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

The reference to "Campbell, Donald G.; Committee on Ritual" has an unmatched set of quotation marks at the end of the text. Folklore1 (talk) 15:54, 8 January 2014 (UTC) Done

In what year was "UGLE Book of Constitutions" published? Folklore1 (talk) 15:57, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

Please repair the link to "Can a Muslim be a freemason?" Folklore1 (talk) 16:12, 8 January 2014 (UTC)  Done

Recommendations for additional improvements

The reference notes have several minor errors involving punctuation, spacing, and inappropriate upper/lower case. I don't think any of this is significant enough to delay an upgrade to GA status, but I recommend correcting these errors in post-review improvements. Folklore1 (talk) 14:44, 9 January 2014 (UTC)