Talk:French cruiser Descartes/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Usernameunique in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Usernameunique (talk · contribs) 20:11, 28 May 2020 (UTC)Reply


Lead

  • the unsuccessful search — It's implied by the lack of further discussion, but the fact that the search was unsuccessful isn't mentioned in the body.
    • Clarified in the body

Design

  • a war scare with Italy in the late 1880s — I think I've asked this before, but is there an article about this?
    • No, there isn't (or a relevant section in an article)
  • French Navy — Link to French Navy?
    • Done
  • The Descartes class were — This should be the "class was", no?
    • Fixed
  • 383–401 officers and enlisted men — No breakdown available?
    • No
  • She had a cruising radius of 5,500 nautical miles (10,200 km; 6,300 mi) at 10 knots (19 km/h; 12 mph) and 1,000 nmi (1,900 km; 1,200 mi) at 19.5 knots. — Does "cruising radius" mean how far she could go one one tank of gas (so to speak)? Also, any reason 19.5 knots isn't converted?
    • Yes, and the speed is converted a sentence earlier
  • Perhaps Pascal should be introduced in this section, and are there any comparisons worth mentioning? Of course, most of that is best addressed in Descartes-class cruiser.
    • Added a mention of Pascal in the first para, but the two ships were more or less identical, so no comparisons warranted
      • That they were largely identical is itself worth mentioning, I think. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:07, 29 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
        • But isn't that implicit in their being a class? The assumption is the classes are made up of generally homogeneous ships - it seems excessive to explain this in every article on a ship that's part of a class
  • Armor protection consisted of a curved armor deck — "armored deck", or is an "armor deck" a thing? Although if there's a way of not using "armor ... armor" that might be better.
    • Yes, an armor deck is a thing - see any of the mentions here
      • Is it a think that could ever be turned into an article? Even a red link could make it clear that it is a specific type of protection.
  • No information on the interior?
    • Nope

Service history

  • Descartes reportedly reached — Why "reportedly"?
    • That's what the source says - "Descartes was reported as attaining 21.8 knots..."
  • On 25 October 1900, an accidental propellant fire aboard Descartes, part of a series of fires that resulted from unstable Poudre B charges. — The sentence is missing a verb. Any more information about the fire?
    • No, I don't have any information on casualties or damage, unfortunately; sometimes these events were reported in periodicals at the time (see for instance French cruiser Forbin, but I wasn't able to track one down on this one)
  • At the start of World War I in August 1914, Descartes was assigned — What happened during 1908–13?
    • There aren't any records that mention the ship during that period
  • The first two sentences of the third paragraph jump from August back to July. Is there a better way of phrasing it?
    • Reworked
  • The declaration of war between France and Germany on 4 August interrupted these plans — Now I'm even more confused. I thought she was recalled home because of the war?
    • The war started in stages - Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia on 28 July but France wasn't at war with Germany for several days (but just about everybody could see it coming)
  • Any more details on the WWI history? Was she involved in any fighting?
    • No, no battles of note took place in the Caribbean - Karlsruhe briefly tangled with a British cruiser but that's about it

Notes

  • Can "France" be given a different descriptor? It sounds like the country, or someone's last name. At the very least, it should be put in italics (to mirror Service Performed).
    • That's the title in the journal - the standard formatting for article titles is non-italicized (as opposed to the journal title, which should be in italics). There's no editor or author of the section listed, so we can't go that route either.
  • Shouldn't "France" and Service Performed have the year?
    • It's there - look at the end of the citation; formats for journal articles are different than books
      • Yes, it's in "References"—but in "Notes", the citations render as "Service Performed, p. 299" and the like, whereas every other short citation (e.g., "Brassey 1908, pp. 49, 53") includes the year.
        • Fixed the italics in the notes, but the years for Brassey's is only to differentiate between the different volumes
          • Right, I'd missed the ones on the left that don't have years. Looks good.

References

Overall