Talk:French cruiser Jurien de la Gravière/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 22:57, 6 August 2020 (UTC)

I'll start this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 22:57, 6 August 2020 (UTC)

• No DABs
• What evidence is there that File:Soissons. 2e grande canonnière fluviale. Pièce de 164.7 - Fonds Berthelé - 49Fi379 (cropped).jpg has been published? PD-old-70 suffices.
  • None, but it appears the images in that collection were uploaded with some sort of template that I don't really want to mess with. It should probably be PD-US-1996 (but I don't think they use that on Commons)
    • I take your point
• the southern coast of the Ottoman Empire A little too vague. Anatolia, the Levant, what?
  • Clarified
• Move the link for long ton to the first use
  • Done
• Each engine was placed in individual engine rooms. singular-plural disagreement
  • Fixed
• Link foremast
  • Is there a point to that? Foremast just redirects to mast (sailing), which is already linked
    • I'd missed the earlier link.
• cruising range was to have been was to have been?
  • Fixed
    • Umm, Her cruising range 9,300 nautical miles
      • Gotta keep you on your toes, eh? At least that's what I'm telling myself
• proximity alert for propulsion system in the first para of the service section
  • Fixed
• Work on the ship was completed in 1903 The reader already knows that the year is 1903, rephrase
  • Good idea
• Upon entering service in 1903, Jurien de la Gravière was assigned to the Atlantic Naval Division, along with the armored cruiser Dupleix; she replaced the protected cruiser D'Estrées awkward and missing a period
  • Fixed
    • Some repetion in the 2nd para of the service section: By 1904, she had been assigned to the Atlantic Division with the armored cruiser Dupleix
      • Reworded
• Clarify that the builder was the Arsenal de Lorient
  • Done
• She remained in the unit the following year, and was activated to take part in the annual fleet maneuvers that began on 17 July and lasted for a week. 1911 or 1912?
  • Clarified
• activated to join the active proximity alert
  • Fixed
• Alexandretta isn't in Egypt
  • Should have been Alexandria - don't know how I typed the other one
• Trailing comma after Italy
  • Good catch
• the two squadrons arrived What squadrons?
  • Fixed
• Be consistent about using SMS for A-H ships
  • Done
    • Missed one in the lede
      • Whoops
• Got a first name for Mornet?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:29, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
  • Looks to have been Charles. Thanks Sturm. Parsecboy (talk) 20:29, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
• protect it on lengthy from biofouling
  • Done
• What kind of ship is USS Yankee?
  • Added
• Link Metropolitan France, Bône, Philippeville, Montenegro--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:28, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
  • You're just trying to stretch this out, aren't you? Parsecboy (talk) 19:57, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
    • I think that we were both unpleasantly surprised by what we missed in the first round--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 12:58, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
      • No kidding, but then I'm always unpleasantly surprised by what I manage to screw up ;) Parsecboy (talk) 13:08, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
        • You and me both!--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 13:24, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
          • And then there's this, which we both missed! Parsecboy (talk) 17:48, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
            • Details, mon ami, mere details!--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:59, 14 August 2020 (UTC)