Talk:Fresh Blood (Supernatural)
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Mini review
edit"who is turned into a vampire." - is? has?
"and was also busy filming for the television series Reaper during the episode's production." - "for" probably not needed.
"as well as the twist in the character's storyline. " - What twist?
- That he himself is turned into a vampire. Ωphois 20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
"resulting brotherly scene" - Maybe "reconciliation"?
- as in "resulting brotherly reconciliation"? Ωphois 20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
"many found the presence of Bela Talbot" - Mabye "many found the presence of recurring character Bela Talbot"
Wikilink hunter?
The sentence that begins "Hunter and recently-escaped" should be broken up into two or three smaller sentences.
"However, Gordon and Kubrick interrupt the fight" - Who is Kubrick?
"two young women whom are in the process of being turned into vampires." - "in the process" not needed.
"Elsewhere, Gordon returns Kubrick." - What does that mean? (Don't tell me here, make sure the article explains, maybe I missed it)
- Typo. Fixed it. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
"Dean decides to go after Gordon himself" - "himself" not needed.
"Sam calls him out on it." " drop the act" - Too informal.
- Do you have any suggestions? Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
"The two then prepare to wait out the night." - Maybe "wait until morning"?
- I think the original sounds better. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
"However, Gordon later calls the Sam and Dean" - "However" isn't a good way to start a paragraph. "the" not needed.
That's it for now. I would say that's some of the best prose I've seen you do. Also, is the Plot too long? I forget the quideline recommended size, but it seems a bit too detailed. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) 01:46, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
- I took a look at some other FA television articles, and this is just a tad bit longer, so I think it should be fine. Ωphois 19:33, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
"vampire was "horrific" for him." - "to him" I think.
There are a lot "however"s. You might mix it up a bit more.[1]
"John Marcynuk mainly used green tones and a cool" - "mainly" is a bit informal.
" and the design has been subtly improved with each vampire episode." - Should it be "had" instead of "has"? Also, maybe "subsequent vampire episode"?
"The actors had fittings done of their mouths" - Sounds funny. Can you say mold instead of fitting?
I'll look at reception later. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) 21:26, 28 February 2010 (UL–←
External links modified
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External links modified
editHello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 4 external links on Fresh Blood (Supernatural). Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
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- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20090524012004/http://www.tvguide.com/episode-recaps/Supernatural/Fresh-Blood-7474.aspx to http://www.tvguide.com/episode-recaps/supernatural/fresh-blood-7474.aspx
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- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20090315020804/http://www.tvsquad.com/2007/11/16/supernatural-fresh-blood/ to http://www.tvsquad.com/2007/11/16/supernatural-fresh-blood/
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