Talk:Gavin Arthur/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 16:09, 12 March 2022 (UTC)

Well, it'd be wrong of me not to review something Arthur, wouldn't it? — GhostRiver 16:09, 12 March 2022 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

• Most sources appear to say he dropped out of Columbia, which should be mentioned here and in the "Early life and education" section
  • Not seeing that for Gavin, but "... Chester Alan Arthur II withdrew from Columbia University School ..." this – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 21:22, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
• Specify why he went by Gavin
  •  Done
• "a short-lived magazine" about what?
  •  Done
• Comma after "various official documents"
  •  Done
• "the Carpenter" → "that Carpenter"
  •  Done

Early life and education

• Nickname/ancestral name of Gavin should not be included in the first sentence, as it was not a childhood nickname
  •  Done
• Would prefer the full birth date be included in the first sentence rather than just "in 1901"
  •  Done
• Name of Edgeplain is not mentioned in the body, just in the caption
  • Removed the name "Edgeplain", but yes, cited the caption text. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:15, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
• "Gavin's father" → "Arthur II"
  •  Done
• "in the 250,000 acres (1,000 km2) ranch Trinchera Estate, which provided" → "in the Trinchera Estate, a 250,000 acres (1,000 km2) ranch which provided"
  •  Done
• "comfortable living" → "comfortable existence"
  •  Done
• Source needed for the "comfortable living" part, suggest this one
  •  Done
• "studied at the Columbia College in New York"
  •  Done
• No comma needed after "class of 1924", but "Class" should be capitalized
  •  Done
• "Later joined" might be somewhat disingenuous phrasing, as "class of 1924" suggests that joining the society occurred after his college tenure, not during
  •  Partly done

Activist and writer

Early career

• Who is Charlotte?
  •  Done
• No comma needed after "avant-garde film"
  •  Done
• Add Wikilink to avant-garde or to experimental film
  •  Done
• "started using" → "began going by"
  •  Done
• Source does not say he went by it "for the rest of his life", only until 1934
  • Removed; but post sources do refer him as Gavin, and that is his common name. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:15, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
• Concept of the Dunites needs to be expounded upon
  •  Done
• "When his father died in 1937" → "Upon his father's death in 1937"
  •  Done
• "all the financial assets" → "all of Arthur II's financial assets"
  •  Done
• "between Gavin and his stepmother" → "between his son Gavin and his wife"
  •  Done
• "He got" → "He received"
  •  Done
• "before resigning the following year" → "but resigned the following year,"
  •  Done
• What principles had been betrayed?
  • Unfortunately, source do not discuss this. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:15, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
• "undertook to write" → "undertook the writing"
  •  Done
• Reference attached to the sentence on the family history should be linked to page 313
  •  Done; narrowed the page range. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:15, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
• Source does not say he attempted a living as a gold prospector
  • Removed. I don't know what the source is, and assume that it was in the article even before I edited it. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 21:15, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
• San Mateo source does not mention anything of his fame as an astrologer, but this and this piece do
  • I'd use the first mentioned source, as the author is PhD. But I specifically avoided using the second source, as, per WP:RS/PS#Vice, there is no consensus on reliability of Vice Media. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:15, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
• Mention of his divorce should be contained to personal life
  •  Done

The Circle of Sex

• "orientations (six for each sex)" → "orientations, six for each sex"
  •  Done
• "12 hours" → "12-hour"
  •  Done
• Comma after "dial clock"
  •  Done
• Delink "clock" per MOS:OVERLINK
  •  Done
• "Sappho, Lady C)" → "Sappho, and Lady C"
  •  Done
• Link and capitalize Beat Generation
  •  Done
• Source does not seem to say that Arthur was active in the gay liberation movement or explicitly say he was bisexual
  • Recited. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:15, 12 March 2022 (UTC)

Personal life and death

• No comma needed in caption
  •  Done
• Specify in caption that it was his second wife and write out her full name
  •  Done
• "In 1922, Arthur married Charlotte Joy Wilson. They divorced in 1932; Arthur married Esther Murphy Strachey in 1935. They divorced in 1961. Arthur married for the third time in 1965 to Ellen Jansen." → "Arthur was married three times in his life. In 1922, he married Charlotte Joy Johnson, divorcing her in 1932. Three years later, he wed Esther Murphy Strachey, whom he divorced in 1961. His final marriage, to Ellen Jansen, took place in 1965."
  • Much better! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:15, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
• "believed himself to be"
  •  Done
• "used to refer to himself" → "would refer to himself"
  •  Done
• List full death date and cause of death
  •  Partly done
• Specify when the papers were donated (I assume immediately after his death?)
  • Specified. https://www.jstor.org/stable/4634741 was published in 1972 and claims the papers were with LOC. Arthur died April the same year. So I think they were given to LOC soon after Gavin's death. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 21:34, 12 March 2022 (UTC)

References / Works cited

• Sources needing |agency=Associated Press are:
  • Argus-Courier 1972
  • San Mateo County Times 1972
  • Nwe York Times 1972
    •  Done

General comments

• Images are properly licensed and relevant
• Suggest using |upright| for the one with his wife
  • I think the current size fine, where one can clearly see both of them. — Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:15, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
• No stability concerns in the revision history
• Earwig score generally looks good outside of the one mirror site

That's all I've got! I think there's some room for expansion, if you fancy putting the elbow grease in. Putting on hold now; as always, feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished. — GhostRiver 16:41, 12 March 2022 (UTC)

GhostRiver: Thanks a lot for reviewing the strangest article I've ever nominated. I think I have responded to everything, and have expanded a bit. — Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 06:25, 13 March 2022 (UTC)

Thank you for making those changes, and apologies for the confusion on Columbia; sometimes the dyscalculia has trouble with even Roman numerals like II versus III. I apologize for seeming a bit harsher on this one, but after seeing the Ike for President FAC, I wanted to be very deliberate about checking sources to save you some grief further down the line. In any case, passing now, and this was a great pleasure to read! — GhostRiver 15:11, 13 March 2022 (UTC)

Thanks a lot, and no issues at all for being nitpicky. I very much appreciate it, and thanks again for your GA review of Ike. Hoping to get it on the right track soon. — Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:38, 13 March 2022 (UTC)