Talk:Gender inequality in Sudan
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Cleanup or rewrite required
editThis article contains large amounts of opinion, synthesis, and is written in a non-encyclopedic tone. davidwr/(talk)/(contribs)/(e-mail) 20:55, 13 April 2013 (UTC)
Update
editPlease locate any bias/opinion and mark it. The page's goal is to be in encyclopedic tone and thus for data to be cited. Jumpinjad (talk) 21:09, 23 April 2013 (UTC)
South Sudan
editWhen speaking of things that happened after South Sudan gained its independence in 2011, it is not always clear if this article is referring to both countries or just Sudan. It is also unclear if geographical terms like "northern" and "southern" exactly overlap with today's political boundaries. See Southern Sudan Autonomous Region (2005–2011) and Southern Sudan Autonomous Region (1972–1983). davidwr/(talk)/(contribs)/(e-mail) 23:23, 13 April 2013 (UTC)
Revision Update
editThank you for your feedback, I will look at these corrections as I continue to develop the page. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jumpinjad (talk • contribs) 19:51, 14 April 2013 (UTC)
Peer Review
editYou chose an interesting topic, and I liked how you differentiated between what the north and the south does. The Health section was clearly and concisely explained. I thought the Religious Background section was interesting.
The Colonial Rule section has a lot of information about the different types of governments that have ruled. It might be helpful to describe each type of government in a sentence. There are a few grammar and punctuation problems that could be touched up. In the Education section, it would be helpful to tell the reader what the Gender Parity Index score of .8 means. SioneF (talk) 04:18, 20 April 2013 (UTC)
Revision Update
editThank you for pointing out the lack of clarity with the Gender Parity Index, I did not even notice that. I am further developing the government history and completely agree that more information is needed here too. Jumpinjad (talk) 22:15, 22 April 2013 (UTC)
Peer review
editYou should consider re-working the first paragraph to hook readers in by discussing some advances in Sudan's gender equality (I'm sure there are some) and then move on to discuss how despite these small advances, Sudan has remained very low on most rankings of gender equality. I think this could help make the article more balanced and deal with the claims of bias you have received.
Secondly, I think that you have included very important sections and have been thorough in doing so. I was pleased to see that you included sections on Darfur and South Sudan separately, but could also include a sentence or two explaining how different the regions are due to history, culture, etc. However, it seems that you have woven together inputs into gender inequality (i.e. the first paragraph in the religion section) and outputs from that inequality (i.e. following religious paragraphs). I would suggest re-working the structure of the paper into two main sections: inputs and outcomes. Therefore, the reader could see what added to gender inequality and then the effects this had on the women in Sudan.
I would also suggest fleshing out the legal section and explaining how the different law types you mentioned interplay to create gender inequality. You only mention CEDAW, which is important, but should think about re-examing how you discuss it, since the United States was also one of the 6 countries that did not sign on to CEDAW. Emmyloumanwill (talk) 16:08, 21 April 2013 (UTC)
Revision Update
editAfter reading your comment and reviewing other similar articles I completely agree about the broader nature of the lead paragraph. I was trying to reread it in another light and have a few ideas in how to make it more compelling. The Darfur and South Sudan sections do seem remotely associated with the overall theme, but your idea in separating it with an input/output theme is good. Focusing on many of the outputs and including other information (like other non-CEDAW signatories) will hopefully make the page have an encyclopedic tone. Jumpinjad (talk) 22:20, 22 April 2013 (UTC)
Feedback
editThis is a well-researched and well-written contribution. I love the photos. The lead paragraph needs a bit more attention (I think you've yet to make suggested revisions on that). The last sentence of the lead paragraph is enigmatic, and perhaps rephrasing it as something like "Gender inequalities in Sudan, particularly as they pertain to FGM and --what else?--, have received the attention of the international community." Importantly, adding Sudan's GII standing would be useful. The 2013 HDI (http://hdr.undp.org/en/media/HDR2013_EN_Statistics.pdf) reports it as 129 out of 147 countries. You would need to add a brief description of the components of GII there. (I see that you did report on how Sudan performs on the components in the relevant sections.) In your discussion of Education and Health it is good that you have included stats for the US to give a comparative sense. I think it would be also good to add the averages for the "Low Human Development group" which is given in a row at the end of the GII table. How does Sudan compare? You can integrate the % seats in parliament from the HDR as well and give a similar comparative sense. In the 2013 Report at the end of the GII table they report 24.3% for South Sudan almost the same as for Sudan 24%. The outline looks good. Some of the sources are rather old (e.g. Shami, Afshar) and I can see that there may not be much recent research to draw upon, but more recent research on gender division of work and control over resources would be good to add. Also, I wonder whether there is any info on (a) gendered poverty; (b) any social movement (activism) within Sudan and/or current initiatives globally (WHO?) to combat FGM. Your discussion of the latter is descriptive of the procedure, its importance for the culture and colonial administration's opposition to it. And there must be some Sudan-focused research on the health problems caused by FGM. And remember to always add year in the text to any stat you report. BerikG (talk) 21:29, 25 April 2013 (UTC)
Thank You
editDr. Berik, Thank you for your suggestions of revision. I have tried to include more recent research in addition to a detailed description of GII (table). I have found minimal contributions on social movements going forward, but did include the WHO's stance and involvement with FGM. Jumpinjad (talk) 20:05, 29 April 2013 (UTC)
Why is there no separate article Women in Sudan?
editHi everyone, I also think that an article about gender inequality in Sudan is useful, but there should also be a more general article on Women in Sudan, as there is for other countries, like neighbouring Egypt.
Writing about women as part of the historical and present societies should include more than just gender inequalities. For example, women's roles and specific contributions to culture like music, the visual arts or literature, to education, politics and governance, the Sudanese revolution and forms of feminism could be under this more general pagename, with gender inequality as a separate, focussed article. - Unfortunately, I am not able to write this in the near future, and only have just added some information I had on hand about the Mahdiyya and women as praise singers, but would like to put this up for discussion and volunteer editors. Munfarid1 (talk) 10:15, 31 May 2021 (UTC)
Some source material on contemporary Sudan before the revolution
editThe following section from the The Oxford Encyclopedia Women in World History could serve as source to paraphrase: (If you register with Wikipedia library, you can get free access to this:
"The story of women in contemporary Sudan is a complicated one of increased public and political participation, including activism in the nationalist movement toward 1956 independence and involvement in party politics and guerrilla movements—such as the Muslim Brotherhood/National Islamic Front, the Republicans, the Communist Party, and the Sudan People's Liberation Movement—in the war efforts, and in the obtaining of various rights, such as the vote (1965). Furthermore, despite various government dictates during the late-twentieth-century conservative regimes, poor women in the urban north have also been more visible as part of loose urban networks—for instance, illicit distribution systems, illicit services, and non-Islamic ritual practices. Simultaneously, southern and western women have been involved in developing survival mechanisms and community networks and have participated in the war effort as combatants and supporters.
Sudan has a postcolonial record of partially gender-integrated democratic institutions and grassroots populism, even when the military was in control—a twentieth-century story of strong and independent trade unions and professional associations. Before the Islamists came to power in 1989, Sudan had one of the largest and most revered Communist parties in Africa or the Middle East, as well as a powerful women's union. Prominent liberal and leftist women played leadership roles within these organizations during the nationalist movement and in contemporary struggles. Suad Ibrahim Ahmed, Fatima Babikar Mahmoud, Fatima Ahmed Ibrahim, Khadiga Safwat, Nafisa Ahmed el-Amin, Khalda Zahir, and many others were active. However, with the combination of the rise of the Islamists and the increased violence in the south and west, many fled into exile.
In the early twenty-first century, with the power of the Islamist state somewhat eroded, some Sudanese returned. A number of women had been organizing from various exile sites, including Egypt, England, Eritrea, and Kenya, and returned to join those women's groups—both organizations that worked underground and non-governmental organizations—that never left, for the promise of a new Sudan and a more active role for women within it. This has brought a younger generation of women to the forefront and has set the stage for more ethnically diverse women's leadership strata."
Of course, we need also up to date information on the present stage of transition... Munfarid1 (talk) 10:26, 31 May 2021 (UTC)
Wikipedia Ambassador Program course assignment
editThis article was the subject of an educational assignment at University of Utah supported by the Wikipedia Ambassador Program during the 2013 Spring term. Further details are available on the course page.
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by PrimeBOT (talk) on 17:18, 2 January 2023 (UTC)