Talk:George Charles Moʻoheau Beckley/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Sturmvogel 66 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 18:13, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:13, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
- No DABs, external link OK
- Suggest life's work rather than life's career
- Link steamships, whaling, captain, drydocked, deckhand, first officer, first mate, master, pilot, San Francisco, California, masonic temple
- If the orders listed in the lede are notable, red link them
- Is there a link to the Hawaiian royal family?
- with half-brother Hoapili "her"
- Explain or link the ranks of the Hawaiian nobility of this time
- The couple were known for being gracious host and hostess during the years of the monarchy. Fluff
- Give more background on William Hauluheimalama and his mother's relationship with Beckley
- Pirate Shenandoah? Do you mean the Confederate raider CSS Shenandoah?
- from
allcaptured the - "Boat steerer" howzabout "helmsman" with a link?
- and was at some point drydocked All ships get drydocked multiple times over their lives. Why is this important here?
- Too many dates in close proximity in the third para of the career section. Switch things up by using expressions like, "the following year", "two years later", etc.
- What are 'unihipili bones?
- You are incosistent in how you capitalize titles and subtitles in your refs section. Put them in title case to match the titles in your bibliography.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:17, 3 February 2021 (UTC)
- Failed as non-responsive.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:43, 25 February 2021 (UTC)