Talk:George Charles Moʻoheau Beckley/GA1

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Sturmvogel 66 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 18:13, 27 January 2021 (UTC)Reply


I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:13, 27 January 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • No DABs, external link OK
  • Suggest life's work rather than life's career
  • Link steamships, whaling, captain, drydocked, deckhand, first officer, first mate, master, pilot, San Francisco, California, masonic temple
  • If the orders listed in the lede are notable, red link them
  • Is there a link to the Hawaiian royal family?
  • with half-brother Hoapili "her"
  • Explain or link the ranks of the Hawaiian nobility of this time
  • The couple were known for being gracious host and hostess during the years of the monarchy. Fluff
  • Give more background on William Hauluheimalama and his mother's relationship with Beckley
  • Pirate Shenandoah? Do you mean the Confederate raider CSS Shenandoah?
  • from all captured the
  • "Boat steerer" howzabout "helmsman" with a link?
  • and was at some point drydocked All ships get drydocked multiple times over their lives. Why is this important here?
  • Too many dates in close proximity in the third para of the career section. Switch things up by using expressions like, "the following year", "two years later", etc.
  • What are 'unihipili bones?
  • You are incosistent in how you capitalize titles and subtitles in your refs section. Put them in title case to match the titles in your bibliography.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:17, 3 February 2021 (UTC)Reply