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Talk:Get Away From My Mom/GA1

< Talk:Get Away From My Mom
Latest comment: 14 years ago by Hunter Kahn in topic GA Checklist

GA Review

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Latest comment: 14 years ago12 comments2 people in discussion

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This article is very nearly there. Just a few minor items that I'm sure can be easily and quickly addressed. Please respond to each item line-by-line and I'll strike them as we go... — Hunter Kahn 00:44, 28 February 2010 (UTC)Reply

Lead

  • Could you specify "the American animated sitcom Home Movies" in the first paragraph?
  • "...who also directed the episode. The episode..." Two "the episodes" right on top of each other. Could you reword?
  • "... varied from lukewarm to applaud." I don't believe this is at all grammatically correct. I think it would be more correct to say "from lukewarm to applause", although I'm not sure that's the best word to use either. Could you try rewording?

Plot summary

  • "...and charges McGuirk for dating his mother..." What does "charges" mean? Does that mean he physically attacks McGuirk? OR something else? Could you maybe use a more clear word there?

Production

  • "This marked the first time an animated television production to be produced without use of a script." This seems like a pretty remarkable first for an animated series. Perhaps this should be mentioned in the lead as well?
  • "...which he continued to due of the entirety of the series' production run." Do you mean "he continued to do for the entirety..."?
  • "Incorporating this style was decided upon as a means to..." This is too wordy. I'd suggest simply, "This style was used to..."
  • "...its incredibly low budget..." Its mentioned here that the episode was made on a low budget, which isn't mentioned before? I'm guessing not, but do any of your sources have info on what that low budget was, or approximately how low it was?
  • "In order to convincingly make the child characters sound like actual children despite being portrayed by adults, recordings of the actors' performance in the episode were electronically altered, giving them the impression of actual children." I think the last clause here (starting with "giving them") is redundant to the beginning of this sentence and can be dropped.

Please also note the minor copy edits and prose tweaks I did myself, in case you strongly disagree with any. Nicely done. I'll place this on hold for now. — Hunter Kahn 00:44, 28 February 2010 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for the review! :) The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 01:47, 28 February 2010 (UTC)Reply


GA Checklist

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Latest comment: 14 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
    Note: Offline sources accepted in good faith.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  
    Nice work! That's a pass! — Hunter Kahn 02:34, 28 February 2010 (UTC)Reply
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