Talk:Girl at the End of the World/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:07, 5 December 2020 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Good idea to try and wipe another November article out of the queue before Christmas! --K. Peake 08:07, 5 December 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Infobox looks good
• "produced the band's previous studio album" → "produced their previous studio album,"
• "between May and September 2015" → "between May and September of 2015"
• "Girl at the End of the World reprised La Petite Mort's" → "The album reprised its predecessor's"
• "The album peaked at number two" → "It peaked at number two"
• Mention Scotland chart position too since that is separate from the UK chart
• "followed by the" → "being followed by the"
• "a UK tour in May," → "a UK tour in May 2016,"
• "over the next few months." → "over the succeeding few months."

Background

• Retitle to Background and development
• Remove target on James
• "their 13th studio album, La Petite Mort, in" → "their 13th studio album La Petite Mort in"
• "the album was a" → "La Petite Mort was a"
• "was planned for" → "had been planned for"
• "The band travelled to" → "James travelled to"
• "Tolbooth in Stirling, and" → "Tolbooth in Stirling and"
• "taped to the windows" → "that were taped to the windows"
• "They then moved to" → "The band then moved to"
• Wikilink drum machine
• Wikilink tempos
• Wikilink iPhone
• "All were recorded" → "All of them were recorded"
• "it would be edited down to a three- to eight-minute" → "the jam would be edited down to a three-to eight-minute" but are you sure there shouldn't be a dash between to and eight?
• "in attempt to come up" → "attempting to come up"

Production

• Retitle to Recording and production
• "Offtape Studios in London with" → "Offtape Studios, which are both in London, with"
• "throughout 2016: the first" → "throughout 2015; the first" because it was in 2015, not 2016
• "For the July sessions," → "For the July block,"
• "although some songs" → "although numerous songs"
• "complete some lead-vocal" → "complete some lead vocals for"
• "were the main engineers," → "served as the main engineers,"
• "contacted Brian Eno (who had" → "contacted Brian Eno, who had"
• "albums) about helping" → "albums, about helping"
• "It was their first" → "This marked their first"
• "the band's ninth studio album," → "the band's ninth studio album"
• "September and early October" → "September and early October of 2015"
• "Mothership (except for "Waking", which was done by Plattmeier) before" → "Mothership, with the exception of "Waking" being done by Plattmeier, before"

Composition and lyrics

• "gave the album" → "gave it"
• "which was centred" → "which is centred"
• "addressed a variety of" → "address a variety of"
• Wikilink imagery
• Wikilink electronic drums
• Wikilink synthesizer
• "and former James guitarist" → "and former guitarist"
• "on that song and" → "on the song as well as"
• "as the band's keyboardist," → "as James' keyboardist,"
• "which begins a two-minute" → "that begins a two-minute"
• "similar to Hawkwind." → "similar to the music of Hawkwind."
• Wikilink upbeat per MOS:LINK2SECT
• "It was compared to the Killers," → "The song was compared to music by the Killers,"
• "had previously produced." → "had previously produced for."
• "with a chorus which repeats" → "with a chorus that repeats"
• "the song was about" → "the song is about"
• Wikilink euphoria
• Target piano ballad to Sentimental ballad
• "that the change was made" → "that the change being made was decided"
• "Pinky & Perky speed"." → "Pinky & Perky speed."" with the wikilink
• "wrote the lyrics" → "wrote the song's lyrics"
• "moving back to" → "before moving back to"
• "and art in the" → "and art on the"
• "James' fourth studio album," → "James' fourth studio album"
• "riff reminiscent of" → "riff reminiscent of the music of"
• "playing distorted riffs" → "with distorted riffs being played"
• "droughts in California (where Booth lived)." → "droughts in California, where Booth lived."
• Target to Casio CZ synthesizers should be on Casio-synthesized
• "lyrics addressed "what" → "lyrics address "what"

Release and touring

• Retitle to Release and promotion
• "to play these shows, and was replaced" → "to play the shows, being replaced"
• Mention the month the song was made available for streaming; maybe write that same month since this sentence succeeds one about November 2015?
• "premiered on" → "premiered via"
• "for the album were" → "for Girl at the End of the World were"
• "released as the" → "released as the album's"
• "was released as a" → "was released as the"
• "for streaming through" → "for streaming via"
• Target The Telegraph to The Daily Telegraph
• "18 March 2016 release on" → "18 March 2016 release through"
• "with the label." → "with the record label." with the wikilink
• "for "Girl at the End of the World" (also made by Merc) premiered" → "for "Girl at the End of the World", also made by Merc, premiered"
• "it features Killers frontman" → "it features the Killers frontman"
• "June and September 2016," → "June and September of 2016,"
• "Péter Vácz, premiered on" → "Péter Vácz, premiered via"
• Target Echo Arena to Liverpool Arena
• Wikilink Liverpool
• "in March and April 2017," → "during March and April of 2017,"
• "as the third single" → "as the third single from Girl at the End of the World"
• "in July and August 2017," → "in July and August of 2017,"
• Wikilink Manchester

Reception

• Remove target on Under the Radar in prose (same for any other targets mentioned)
• "which pushed James' sound," → "that pushed James' sound,"
• Remove target on Clash
• "had "some bad" → "has "some bad"
• "wrote that although the album attempted" → "said that despite the album attempting"
• Target rock to Rock music
• "was "a little" → "is "a little"
• "was "certainly a strong one," it wasn't" → "is "certainly a strong one," though it isn't"
• "found it "much" → "found the album "much"
• "the album was" → "the album is"
• Wikilink crescendos
• Target hooks to Hook (music)
• "that were "intelligent," → "that are "intelligent,"
• "nearly knocked Adele's album, 25 (2015)," → "came close to knocking Adele's album 25 (2015)"
• "in the midweek charts" → "on the midweek chart"
• "debuted at number two." → "debuted at number two on the chart."
• "reached the top spot." → "reached the top spot on the Scottish Singles Chart." with the target
• "region of Belgium." → "region of the country."

Track listing

• Good

Personnel

• According to the album booklet: → Personnel per booklet.

Charts

• Good

References

• Copyvio score looks moderately good at 28.6%
• Make sure all of these that can be are archived using the tool
• Remove or replace ref 2 per WP:RSSM

It's an interview with the band's bassist. Yeepsi (talk) 15:51, 5 December 2020 (UTC)

• Target The Telegraph to The Daily Telegraph on ref 6
• Remove target on James for ref 10
• Target Clash to Clash (magazine) on ref 14
• Ref 25 is a duplicate of ref 18
• Ref 34 is a duplicate of ref 14

External links

• Good

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until you fix the issues, though I have noticed that you've definitely got some great writing skills! --K. Peake 12:31, 5 December 2020 (UTC)

Done. Yeepsi (talk) 15:51, 5 December 2020 (UTC)

Yeepsi I have done some very brief copy editing, but will now ✓ Pass this! --K. Peake 19:44, 5 December 2020 (UTC)