Talk:Grand Knights History/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Alexandra IDV (talk · contribs) 16:14, 8 November 2020 (UTC)

I'll review this.--Alexandra^IDV 16:14, 8 November 2020 (UTC)

Infobox/lead

• I don't think you need to specify that Marvelous was the JP publisher when the game was only published in Japan
  • Sorted.
• Nishii is only mentioned in the infobox, without a source
  • Removed.

Gameplay

• a player may increase a characters statistics - you're missing an apostrophe. Also, link Statistic (role-playing games)
  • Sorted.
• The entire paragraph about online multiplayer should be in past tense if this function is no longer available.
  • Sorted.

Synopsis

• Grand Knights History is a set in the fantasy world of Rystia - you're either missing a word (it is a what?), or that "a" needs to be cut
  • That was a slip from an earlier edit.
• Is the protagonist player-named? Fine if they are, otherwise mention their name
  • They're player-named. I've addressed this in Gameplay.
• a young assistant called Liscia; cross paths with a witch named Mira - these types of constructions can be simplified to "the young assistant Liscia" and "the witch Mira"
  • Sorted.

Development

• The game's staff at both Vanillaware and Marvellous were fairly young. - is there any significance to this? Was it unusual for Vanillaware in some way, or did their youth influence development in any specific way that we know of? Additionally, Marvelous' name should be spelled with just a single L.
  • Sorted.
• Mention that GrimGrimoire is an earlier Vanillaware game to make the connection/significance more clear
  • Sorted.
• As people could not be online all the time, is unnecessarily vague - I recommend changing to "players" or something similar
  • Sorted.
• Link Sony and contextualize them by mentioning that they are the PSP's manufacturer
  • Sorted.
• Link Odin Sphere and mention when it came out for context
  • Sorted.
• When he was given the job of lead composer, - consider mentioning the subject of this earlier in the sentence, so you don't leave readers hanging for a bit wondering who "he" is
  • Sorted.
• A soundtrack album was released in 2011.[15] It was positively received by music critics. - I would recommend combining these into a single sentence, to avoid the slightly choppy reading experience of two very short sentences in sequence
  • Sorted.
• Fumika is written in all lowercase for some reason, and links to an article about the name rather than the artist.
  • Sorted. There isn't an article for her, but it was linked in the original version, and I forgot to check.

Reception

• You don't need to repeat review scores in the prose. That's what the table is there for.
  • Sorted.

References

• Looks fine. This isn't part of the GAN criteria, but I will say that ref 32 only shows the title, not the author or publication, which is something you might want to change.
  • Sorted.

Images

• Are there any images of staff from the development team that can be used for the development section?
  • Not really.
• Not part of the GAN criteria, but I would strongly recommend adding alt text to all images, to aid readers with impaired vision.
  • Done.

Looks good! I will put this on hold for seven days - please @ me when you have addressed the above or if you have any questions. Thank you --Alexandra^IDV 18:40, 8 November 2020 (UTC)

@Alexandra IDV: All sorted and addressed, I hope. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:12, 8 November 2020 (UTC)

Thank you, I will promote this to GA now!--Alexandra^IDV 20:19, 8 November 2020 (UTC)