Talk:HMS Afridi (F07)/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Peacemaker67 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 10:36, 22 November 2020 (UTC)
As expected, this is in great nick. A few comments:
- Lead
- the mention of the Spanish Civil War is a bit OTT, there is barely a sentence on this in the article. Perhap it could be trimmed to "In 1938, Afridi was briefly involved enforcing the arms blockade on the combatants in the Spanish Civil War."
- Works for me.
- "The ship returned home shortly after the start of the
warSecond World War..." - "Namsos
Ccampaign in central Norway"- I dunno why everybody rolled over when what's 'is name was agitating about uncapitalizing campaign because it wasn't commonly used, but I'm sticking to proper English where it's a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
- Body
- suggest "to improve the firepower of the existing destroyer flotillas"
- Good idea.
- rounding difference on length, beam and draught between body and infobox
- if sea trial speed is less than designed speed, don't we put the sea trial speed in the infobox?
- Normally, yes, but unlike most accounts I know her displacement during her trials and it was nearly at deep load, which is always slower than designed speed, so she likely would have reached her designed speed at normal or light loads as they were usually run.
- "an extra 20 officers and men
forconsisting of the Captain (D) and his staff." - perhaps add that A and B turrets were forward of the superstructure and the other aft and mention they were superfiring
- "Twenty depth charges w
ereas the peacetime allotment" - G. H. Creswell went on to be promoted to Rear Admiral (and was George Hector Creswell), redlink?
- "mostly escorted convoys up and down"
- "was tasked
onwith attacking Bergen" - "and lightly damag
eding the battleship Rodney" - "forestalled the searches
asbecause the destroyers were recalled" a little unclear - Namsos
Ccampaign - move the link to Namsos to first mention
- "by the destroyers and trawler" a trawler or trawlers?
- suggest "loss of 52
mencrew" as there were others aboard who were lost - a map of Norway would be useful in the latter part of the article
That's all I could find, placing on hold for the above to be addressed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:17, 23 November 2020 (UTC)
- All done, thanks for your thorough review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:28, 23 November 2020 (UTC)
- This article is well-written, verifiable using reliable sources, covers the subject well, is neutral and stable, contains no plagiarism, and is illustrated by acceptably licensed images with appropriate captions. Passing. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:50, 24 November 2020 (UTC)