Talk:HMS Cordelia (1914)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:HMS Cordelia (1914)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 11:35, 1 April 2016 (UTC)

I'll have this to you soon. JAGUAR  11:35, 1 April 2016 (UTC)

Initial comments

• Once again, the lead needs to be expanded to summarise the article. A couple of sentences on its career and a mention on when it was commissioned would be good (you can ignore the latter if you think it's best)
• "The ship also mounted two twin, above-water, mounts for 21 in (533 mm) torpedos" - torpedoes
• "The walls of their conning tower were 6 inches thick" - convert to millimetres
  • converted on first use.
• "... on 21 July 1913, launched on 23 February 1914, and completed in January 1915." - I think this sentence could be broken in two. ...on 21 July 1913. She was launched on 23 February 1914, and completed in January 1915. Feel free to ignore this, but I thought that the previous sentence was too long to read comfortably
  • Agreed.
• "In early August, Cordelia and her squadron" - of what year? 1915?
  • Yes, as mentioned a couple of sentences earlier.
• "Later that month, Cordelia was reduced to reserve at Devonport. By 1 May" - this is the beginning of a new section, so I lost track of what year this was. It might be best to start this with Later in February 1919, Cordelia was reduced to reserve at Devonport. By 1 May
  • It's in the immediately preceding sentence, so I don't think you're giving enough credit to the reader.
• "she recommissioned for service in the 2nd Light Cruiser Squadron in the Atlantic Fleet" - link Atlantic Fleet (United Kingdom)
  • Linked in the lede.
• "and placed in The Nore Reserve" - 'the' needs no capitalisation
• No dead links

Solid article. Once all of the above are addressed then it should have no problem passing. JAGUAR  21:16, 1 April 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the quick review, hopefully all of my changes will satisfy your concerns.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 21:47, 2 April 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for addressing them, I've gone through the article again and it meets the GA criteria. Well done! JAGUAR  22:14, 2 April 2016 (UTC)

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