Talk:HMS Gipsy (H63)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: CrowzRSA 03:56, 26 February 2011 (UTC)

• prewar should be changed to "pre-war".
  • Done.
• The ship was transferred shortly after the beginning of World War II to the British Isles to escort shipping in local waters. This sentence needs to be re-organized. I recommend something like: "The ship was transferred shortly to the British Isles to escort shipping after the beginning of World War II.
  • Agreed.
• Less than a month after her arrival she struck a mine outside… Change "mine" to "naval mine".
  • No, it's linked, that suffices.
• …outside Harwich and sank with the loss of 30 of her crew.. Reads poorly. Change to: "…outside Harwich, causing her to sink and lose of 30 of her crew."
  • I disagree.
• You link "overall length" to Overall length, when it should actually link to Length overall.
  • Good catch.
• Meters needs to be linked.
  • Really? Feet and meters both linked.
• You say that it can carry 470 long tons (480 t) of fuel oil, but shouldn't the measurements be in gallons or something? Maybe I'm ignorant…
  • Nope, that's how it's measured in ships.
• For anti-aircraft defence Gipsy had… it's defense, not "defence".
  • Not in British English.
• The link "21-inch (533 mm)" should be extended to "21-inch (533 mm) torpedoes".
  • Done.
• "…but this increased shortly after the war began to 35. Reads poorly. Change to "but this increased to 35 shortly after the war began".
  • Good idea.
• at Govan in Scotland Change to "at Govan, Scotland".
  • Done.
• Exclusive of government-furnished equipment like the armament, the ship cost £250,364. This line doesn't read well to me. It should be re-worded.
  • Done.
• …Gipsy spent the prewar period… prewar → pre-war.
• Done already.
• Unlink "1st Destroyer Flotilla" and re-word to "first Destroyer Flotilla".
  • Military unit names are not spelled out. 82nd Airborne Division, 1st Cruiser Squadron, etc.
• On the outbreak of war in September 1939 Gipsy was… Comma after 1939.
  • Good catch.
• Again, 1st Destroyer Flotilla → first Destroyer Flotilla.
  • Again, no.
• Gipsy, and her entire flotilla, was transferred to the Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October. Several problems with this sentence. Re-word to "Gipsy and her entire flotilla were transferred to the Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October 1939".
  • Done
• …and returned to port to turn them over the army. Which army are you referring to?
  • The one garrisoning Harwich in the UK.
• Trust your luck Luck should be capitalized.
  • Why? It's a motto, not a title. Thanks for the review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 06:41, 26 February 2011 (UTC)

• This is all I see, I will place the article on hold for a few weeks before I fail it (if comments aren't attended to). Good luck, CrowzRSA 04:26, 26 February 2011 (UTC).