Talk:HMS Ocean (1898)/GA1
Latest comment: 7 years ago by Adityavagarwal in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Adityavagarwal (talk · contribs) 19:20, 27 October 2017 (UTC)
Onto it! Would be making straight forward changes as I go, so please feel free to revert if I make any mistake. I hope you enjoy the review. Adityavagarwal (talk) 19:20, 27 October 2017 (UTC)
- Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time! Parsecboy (talk) 22:51, 27 October 2017 (UTC)
- Perhaps we could expand the lead a teeny bit more? It can be ignored too, but just an opinion!
- why are we having a dash in "12-inch"?
- Because "12-inch" is a compound adjective
- To be consistent, I think it would be better to chose either inch or in.
- Done
- "in August 1914" is it in 1910?
- I'm not sure what you're asking
- Ok, so ignore this comment. I am unsure too, of what I typed... I think I mis-typed something!
- Link East Asia.
- Done
- "was protected with 6 in", "had 12 in" convert template for 6 in and 12 in!
- Removed
- Devonport should be linked at first mention.
- Fixed
- Link Royal Navy in body.
- Done
- "in late February 1915" later we have the mention of 28 february. So, is the first event sure to be antedating the second one? This is because by "late", we still do not know the date!
- Yeah, Burt doesn't give a specific date, unfortunately.
- "4 March" is it 1915?
- Yeah
- Would it not be better to also mention the year? This is because it is the start of a new paragraph, and just two lines below it we have an event of 1914. Adityavagarwal (talk) 18:15, 30 October 2017 (UTC)
- How about changing that "in 1914" to "the previous year"? Parsecboy (talk) 18:20, 30 October 2017 (UTC)
- Yup, that is cool too! :D Adityavagarwal (talk) 18:26, 30 October 2017 (UTC)
- Mention years "7 March" and "18 March" too,to provide a clear picture of the timeframes!
- In general, it's not appropriate to include years in a narrative like this, especially when we're talking about the span of a few weeks.
parsecboy This is all what I could find! Adityavagarwal (talk) 11:30, 30 October 2017 (UTC)
- Thanks for your review! Parsecboy (talk) 18:09, 30 October 2017 (UTC)
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