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Hi All,
My page about Hager Group keeps getting declined because it apparently reads like an advertisement. I have tried to use as many notable sources as possible and tried to keep my language as un-promotional as possible.
Hager Group wikipedia pages already exist in German (https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hager_Group) and French (https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hager_Group). I've tried to create the English page in the same format but a little simpler.
I'd love to hear what you guys think, and what improvements I can make. K.alansari (talk) 14:19, 10 July 2017 (UTC)
- Well for a start the first paragraph is entirely promotional and needs to be re-written in a simple neutral manner to explain what they do terms like "global supplier of solutions and services" are meaningless marketing speak. Theroadislong (talk) 14:28, 10 July 2017 (UTC)
Hey Theroadislong,
Thanks for your recommendation. Just made the edit. Hope it's better now. Anything else in particular that sticks out? K.alansari (talk) 15:18, 10 July 2017 (UTC)