Talk:Harold Oliver (Australian footballer)/GA1
Latest comment: 8 years ago by MPJ-DK in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 04:36, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
I will be picking up the review of this one - both for the Wiki Cup and the GA cup as well. I will be making my review comments over the next couple of days.
Side note, I would love some input on a Featured List candidate (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) and a Featured Article candidate (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship). I am not asking for Quid pro Quo, but all help is appreciated. MPJ-US 04:36, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
- First comment - the layout gets in the way of the readability in a way, three quote blocks, at one point they are squeezing the text between them and at one place it's squished between the quote and the info box. If I was not reviewing it I'd probably move on once I saw the layout.
GA Toolbox
editI like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.
- Peer review tool
- WP:LEAD is too short - should have 1-2 paragraphs; since this is supposed to be a Good Article I would like to see it have 2 paragraphs
- Copyright violations Tool
- There is an overlay in phrases from this site http://users.on.net/~jtpope/public/indiv/i02317.htm
- "where they were beaten twice by the local side."
- "commute from Berri where he eventually settled on his own block as a fruit grower"
- Those two should be rewritten to avoid any copyright issues.
- Disambiguation links
- no issues
- External links
- No issues
Well Written
edit- I would recommend the "convert" template for all measurements that are currently in metric only.
- "During this time he" needs a comma after "time"
- I would imagine "riverland" is a place name? probably should be capitalized then.
- "beaten twice by the local side.", a bit informal how about "lost twice to the home team"?
- "Players in the 1911 South Australian" should be "Players onin the 1911 South Australian"
- The term "VFL" needs to be spelled out the first it is used.
- "at Adelaide Oval" should be "at the Adelaide Oval"?
- "Port Adelaide victors" should be either "Port Adelaide being victorious" or "Port Adelaide coming out as the victors"
- "Mr Swain" should be "Mr. Swain"
- "settled on his own block as" I am not familar with the term "on his own block", what does that mean?
- "due to commitments regarding his farm" simplify "due to commitments to his farm"
- "longserving" should be "long serving"
Sources/verifiable
edit- The following references only have limitd information listed - usually just title and website etc. They need to have all appropriate information added in regards to author, dates, etc.
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 13
- 16
- 20
- 21(really "news"?)
- Reference 18 seems to be a repeat of #8
- Some sources use a different date format, some have "January 1, 2012" others have "2012-01-01", pick one and stick with it
- While the titles may be all caps in the source can we please have them changed in the source?
- I am not familiar with all the websites, are the following Reliable Sources?
- oocities.org?
- users.on.net
- footybets.com
Broad in coverage
edit- It's 95% football, but for the age he lived it there probably is not a lot of information available for that time period. So
Neutral
edit- Yep
Stable
edit- its very much a one man article but I see no signs of edit warring or issues
Illustrated / Images
edit- File:PortAdelaide1914.jpg needs a US public domain tag
- File:Harold Oliver Port Adelaide.jpg = has a "non-free" tag, with all the other pictures of Oliver I don't think the "non-free" use is appropriate. Is it old enough to not actually be copyrighted any more?
- So my review is complete and I am putting the review on hold for now, giving you time, {{ping|Thejoebloggsblog}, to address the issues. MPJ-US 21:34, 30 March 2016 (UTC)
- Thejoebloggsblog no activity, no request for more time. Sorry i have to fail this for.inqctivity. MPJ-US 20:15, 7 April 2016 (UTC)