Talk:Harvey Pulford

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Harvey Pulford/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 22:32, 13 January 2024 (UTC)

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Links

Prose

Lede

• regarded defenceman with the Ottawa Hockey Club - probably should say "ice hockey defenceman, as there's other types of hockey and we've listed a load of sports. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:44, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• also won championships or tournaments in every sport in which he played - I don't think you can make this claim. "He played professionally", maybe, but unless we can prove he only played the sports listed, we can't make that claim. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:46, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• From the sounds of it, he was an ice hockey player, who was also good at other things, rather than an overall athlete. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:46, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• Lede is very short. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:46, 25 January 2024 (UTC)

General

• born in Toronto, Ontario - state the country. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:49, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• to a son, Harvey F. Pulford, on December 7, 1904. - to avoid confusion, rather than "a son", say "Harvey's step-brother". Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:49, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• 1891 Pulford - comma Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:49, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• Generally personal life sections go after the career. I know this section covers his birth and childhood, so maybe this is also missing some things? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• In his youth Pulford - there should be a comma here, watch out for this. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• In 1894 he joined - probably should state his age. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• While captain from 1902 to 1905 he led the team, later nicknamed the "Silver Seven - this doesn't specify whether he or the team had this nickname (although by the name, it's probably the team). Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• Pulford played his first senior-level games with the Ottawa club during the 1894 season - wait, weren't we just talking about 1905? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• Stanley Cup challenge games - what is this? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)

• Ottawa finished tied with the Victorias for the 1903 CAHL championship and right to hold the Cup - what? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• total-goal series - a what? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• Pulford being credited for his ability to physically stop any opponents from entering his area of the ice Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• his area of the ice - he doesn't own it. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• They were allowed to retain the Cup - what does this mean? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• Pulford in six - presumably "played in six matches". Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• I've noticed a lot in this article there's a lot of missing words. played two challenge series - you might play in two challenge series, for example. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• Ottawa lost, ending their hold of the Cup - presumably we are still talking about the Stanley Cup, could we not actually say the name of the tournament? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• This article doesn't seem to mention much about the person, but a lot more about the club he played for, with some info about how many times he scores. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
• That's all I'm willing to do at this time. It's just not focused on the subject, or well written. Getting a copyedit in and focussing more on the subject would be suitable before renominating.Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)

Review meta comments

• I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:32, 13 January 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.