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analysis of ST
edit1. Some of the hyperlinks in this text are not very helpful, for example "Schweizer Mundart" links to the German language page for "languages of Switzerland" and not "Swiss German". In addition to that, there is a link to the page for documentaries, which I find neither important nor interesting enough for a page about a band. I need to pay attention to this and make sure all hyperlinks link to something sensible.
- Good point. And what about deleting some hyperlinks and replacing them with more useful ones? Any ideas of what those might be for an English audience that is not as familiar with Swiss culture and the linguistic situation as a German audience could be expected to be? Chasa73a (talk) 16:02, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
2. The German article (and many German language articles about musicians) uses a special made template to show the band's placements in the charts. As far as I can tell, this is not accepted for English articles, that often show chart placements as a part of the discography list.
- Is this really a translation problem? Would you include some of the information in the article itself or simply omit the whole thing? Omission is a strategy often used to fit genre conventions. Chasa73a (talk) 16:02, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
3. The chapter called "Bandgeschichte" seems a little unstructured to me. There are dates of importance with a small explanation to what happened. Inbetween these dates there is a sentence about how they are known for their creative music videos. That doesn't belong there and needs to be somewhere else.
- The text structure is a very good point to consider in this ST. The second-last paragraph of the first section also seems out of place. Will you consider adding a section for that or incorporating it into the section on the members (possibly with a different header)? It would be worth looking at parallel texts (i.e. English Wikipedia articles about bands that are not necessarily internationally known) to see how they are structured and the local touches are conveyed (e.g. the "Swissness" in the ST). Chasa73a (talk) 16:02, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
4. There are some citations from music centred journalistic publications that might pose challenges in translating. For example the term "trockene riffs".
- Consider whether it really makes sense to use these citations at all or whether paraphrasing informaation would make more sense. Radio Pilatus would not mean anything to an English target audience. In general, summarizing and omission would seem to be good strategies for at least parts of this ST. Chasa73a (talk) 16:02, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
5. The article is listed under the category "Schweizer Mundartsänger" which does not exist in English. Generally the categories need to be considered as to be consistent with other English language articles about musicians.
- This is similar to the content you mention in point 1 and my response. Think about how an English reader might look for information like this. Chasa73a (talk) 16:02, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
--Walgvogel (talk) 12:53, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
Challenges
edit1. I made sure that all swiss-specific links will send the reader to the right page. I also made sure to imly in the introductory sentence, that Swiss German is a languageWalgvogel (talk) 15:19, 1 December 2021 (UTC) 2. I omitted the template, the information is intergrated in the text15:19, 1 December 2021 (UTC) 3. The ill fitting paragraph now has its own chapter/title. It makes more sense this wayWalgvogel (talk) 15:19, 1 December 2021 (UTC) 4. I left out this direct quote and instead wrote something like : good critique by the press...Walgvogel (talk) 15:19, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
Revision
editI changed the month names to capital letters and the days to ordinal numbers.--Zimbert (talk) 14:13, 12 December 2021 (UTC) with whom they created videos for their songs Heicho and Kawasaki.[7] zusammen, welcher auch die letzten zwei Musikvideos zum Song "Heicho[8]" und "Kawasaki[9]. I couldn't understand what the German part in this sentence means. Else I would have translated it. Especially because of the references you have put there, I thought maybe you wanted to mention something different than the music videos.--Zimbert (talk) 14:13, 12 December 2021 (UTC)