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Latest comment: 17 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This is a well-written and informative article. Nice work! Here are my suggestions for improvement:
The lead could be expanded, in lines with WP:LEAD, so that it is a standalone summary of the article.
What do you think about a map for the "Service in France" section?
I wonder if the information in the "Private life" section could be integrated into the article. You could place the relevant marriages where they belong chronologically as well as a discussion of Henry's memoirs.
A longer discussion of Henry's memoir would be helpful, I think. Is there a link to a full-text copy of this work?
I would also recommend that a very good copy editor look at this article. In general, its writing is quite good, but there are a few sentences that could be made clearer. I have listed a few below.
Small prose and content issues:
It is a little difficult at times to follow the narrative, with the switching of titles and names (Henry vs. Grosmont).
Little is known of Grosmont’s early years, but is seems clear that he was born at the castle of Grosmont in Monmouthshire, and that he was born c.1310, not around the turn of the century as previously held. - Held by whom?
According to his own memoirs he was better at the martial arts than at academic subjects, and did not learn to read until later in life. - "martial arts" brings up images of karate, etc. for the modern reader
The next year he is recorded as participating in a royal tournament - What kind of tournament?
In 1333 he took part in Edward’s Scottish campaign, though it is unclear whether he was present at the Battle of Halidon Hill. - What is special about this battle that you are naming it? The uninformed reader needs some context.
After further service in the north, he was appointed the king's lieutenant in Scotland in 1336. - In the north of England or Scotland?
The next year he was one of the six men Edward III promoted to the higher levels of the peerage, when his father’s lesser title of Earl of Derby was bestowed upon him. - A little hard to follow.
Later the same year, he was committed as a hostage in the Low Countries for the king’s considerable debts. - Did he volunteer for this?
The title of duke was of relatively new origin in England; only one other ducal title existed prior. - wordy
It is a sign of Edward’s high regard for Henry that he would bestow such extensive liberties on him. - This is an older sense of "liberties" - you might explain it to the reader.
so it is natural to assume that a strong sense of camaraderie existed between them - Do historians indeed assume this?
The 1350s were spent intermittently campaigning and negotiating peace treaties with the French. - Passive construction leaves subject somewhat obscure - who is negotiating and campaigning? Henry or Britain?
It is likely that the cause of death was the plague, making a second visitation of England that year. - a bit awkward
If you decide to take this article to WP:FAC, which I recommend, you should peruse the WP:MOS to make sure that everything in the article is formatted properly. That way, the reviewers can focus on more substantive issues and will hopefully avoid getting hung up on dashes, dates, etc. Awadewit | talk19:58, 7 August 2007 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 16 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This article has been reviewed as part of Wikipedia:WikiProject Good articles/Project quality task force. I believe the article currently meets the criteria and should remain listed as a Good article. The article has some examples of poor prose and could always be expanded, particularly with information about the Duke's activities in France, but for now this qualifies for GA.
The article history has been updated to reflect this review. Regards, --Jackyd101 (talk) 23:34, 2 March 2008 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 14 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The article states "The years 1351-2 he spent on crusade in Prussia.", as far as I know (and as far as the Northern Crusades linked here can tell), there was no Preussian crusades taking place as late as mid 14th century. Perhaps someone with access to Fowlers book (I presume this is the source) could check this? Finn Rindahl (talk) 15:25, 13 September 2009 (UTC)Reply
No, I agree. Ordinals/title the first time, Edward at every further mention. Unless it creates repetition, and then 'the King..." of course. Why's that? SN5412920:00, 13 March 2022 (UTC)Reply
I have started working through Grosmont and didn't want to convert it to my preferred style without giving you a vote. PS, I shall be away Monday and Tuesday - in a tent up some hills. I am assuming that Wikipedia will still be here when I return. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:00, 13 March 2022 (UTC)Reply