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Talk:Hidden Runaway

Latest comment: 4 years ago by JimmyBlackwing in topic GA Review
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GA Review

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Latest comment: 4 years ago22 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Hidden Runaway/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: IceWelder (talk · contribs) 11:10, 3 October 2020 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  
Infobox
  • The Bulkypix link to frwiki seems a little WP:SURPRISE-y, either use {{interlanguage link}} or omit the link.
  • I cannot find a source that the game released on OS X. The publisher only lists Windows.
  • The infobox should mention the publisher and release date of the PC version.
  • Did the first two. As for the publisher of the PC version, I don't have any sources for when it released outside of Germany, and I'm pretty sure it was published by companies other than Rondomedia elsewhere. If I could find something source-wise, I'd be happy to fix this—for now, it seems a little odd to only list the German PC release in the infobox, as it gives the impression to casual observers that Hidden Runaway's PC release was Germany-exclusive when it wasn't. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 01:48, 4 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
    You're right. GSP was seemingly responsible for a UK release,[1] (GameFAQs lists a 2014-06-27 release date) but I couldn't find anything remotely reliable on this. The same goes for the Desura release (see below). If you don't feel like only listing the sourceable German release in the infobox, you can omit it, but you should probably indicate that Bulkypix merely released the iOS version. IceWelder [✉] 08:16, 4 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
    Done. I'll continue plugging away at the rest later today! JimmyBlackwing (talk) 15:26, 4 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
Lead
  • Bulkypix is also surprise-linked here.
Gameplay
  • The ref after "... Hidden Runaway features optional minigame puzzle sequences," is unnecessary, as it is used again at the end of the sentence.
  • Also swap the refs for that sentence for proper ordering.
Development
  • Bulkypix is also surprise-linked here.
  • The portion "TouchArcade reported" might be superfluous, as they will have taken the info from a press release.
  • No longer surprise-linked. As for the article, it claims to be original reporting from the GDC floor. I don't remember seeing this exact information put out in a press release by this date, either, so I'm inclined to leave it as-is. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 14:19, 5 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • It seems unnecessary to quote "our first non-adventure game"; it can just be paraphrased.
  • The same goes for the first segment in the next quote, "casual adventure [games] ..."; just quoting the central attractiveness statement suffices.
  • Swap the refs for the second-to-last sentence in the second paragraph.
  • In the first sentence of the third paragraph, move ref #11 to the end and omit the first use of #8 (which occurs again at the end of the sentence).
  • When mentioning the German PC release, also mention Rondomedia as the publisher and that it was for Windows.
  • For the PC release, I would also add that Bulkypix originally intended to publish the game for Windows and OS X (based on ref #8).
  • Did these. I phrased the Bulkypix fix in a way that avoided potential OR, since I don't want to imply that the Mac verison never came out—I honestly have no idea whether it did or not, and have no sources either way. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 14:19, 5 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Nice find—I didn't know it was on Desura. That said, I'm not sure about the notability status of availability on Desura, and Plug In Digital's tweet is too enigmatic in my opinion to be a fantastic source for the release date. If the Desura page had listed an actual release date (rather than a "last updated"), I'd have taken the chance, but as-is I think it's just too messy. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 14:19, 5 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
Reception
  • I would personally move the sales statements and impact to the bottom the section (perhaps in a separate "Sales" sub-section) since it happened later chronologically than the critical reception.
  • Monchan and Marín were already introduced, so their mentions can be shortened to their last names.
  • My preference is to re-introduce the full names of people and places on a section-by-section basis for ease of reading, as most people don't read Wikipedia pages top to bottom—they skip around from section to section. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 20:28, 7 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "IGN Spain" brands itself as "IGN España", consider using that.
  • Vandal is surprise-linked to eswiki. There is Vandal (website), which redirects to the parent newspaper, but ILL is also an option.
  • Slater/Pocket Gamer is misquoted; the article says "interesting, if ultimately disappointing" (emphasis added).
  • The long quote from Jihem/Jeuxvideo.com is tricky: In the original, he says that the game laves a very bitter taste "in the player's mind" (dans l'esprit du joueur), but I cannot find whether that is analogous to the English idiom used here. If possible, try to rephrase or paraphrase this part.
  • Swap the refs in the first sentence of the third paragraph.
  • "Fontanet-Bel concluded by calling Hidden Runaway ..." – This sounds awkward. Maybe use "Fontanet-Bel concluded his review by calling Hidden Runaway ..." or "Fontanet-Bel concluded that Hidden Runaway was ..."
  • The word "hosting" (or "embracing"/"welcoming"; acoger in the original) is missing from Hernández/HobbyConsolas's quote.
  • The addendum "as a genre" feels out of place; the sentence works well without it.
Other (optional nice-to-haves)
  • The non-English sources could use |trans-title= descriptors.
  • Some online sources that are still live are incorrectly tagged as dead.
  • The categories could be sorted alphabetically.
  • Finally got through everything! Hopefully I didn't break anything or introduce any typos in the process (my O key is in the process of dying and I sometimes don't catch the times it doesn't input). Let me know if there's anything else. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 20:28, 7 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
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