Talk:Highway (soundtrack)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 19:16, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

I'll review, expect comments within a few days.

Surely. :) Arjann (talk) 06:39, 2 December 2014 (UTC)

Here it is.....

Lead

• "The songs in the soundtrack album are situational whereas the original score is minimal"..... awkward phrasing
• "The track 'Patakha Guddi' has heavy Punjabi influence in its music, however, rest of the songs do not entirely depend on picturised regional music themes but concentrate more on the feelings and spirits of character "Veera" played by Alia Bhatt"..... confusing, and quite a mouthful
• Put quotation marks around "Patakha Guddi" in "The female version of Patakha Guddi"
• "followed by the second single 'Maahi Ve' to positive critical reception"..... if someone were to only read the lead right now, they'd likely be confused whether the "positive critical reception" was just for "Maahi Ve" or also "Patakha Guddi", so try rephrasing this for clarity
• It would help to include what critics liked about the soundtrack

Development

• This section is rather long and should be divided into different sections, or at least subsections. "Production" and "composition" sections would be very useful.
• There are many instances of WP:OVERCITE. No need to use the same citation more than once in a row per paragraph.
• "On the score of the film Rahman quoted"..... doesn't read well, and "quote" isn't used appropriately here- try Rahman said of the film's score
• "being one such song, he has used sounds from Punjab, another that could connect with Haryana to transform it into futuristic soundscape"..... awkward and confusing prose
• "In an interview with The Indian Express, Rahman quotes"..... again, inappropriate use of "quote", go with Rahman told The Indian Express
• The Indian Express should be italicized
• Something about "In the film as the journey moves from the plains of Punjab to the hills of Himachal" simply doesn't read well
• "Alia was made to sing to add more poignancy to the scene"..... not sure this is a neutral statement
• "Upon the questionnaire of the mood of the song"..... reads awkwardly
• "The event also had an interview wherein Rahman described as the track Implosive Silence as a 'a state of mind-soothing yet enigmatic'"..... quite a mouthful
• "It is a musical piece trying to capture the sounds in character Veera's mind as she travels along the highway"..... this should be in quotes so it doesn't seem POV
• "Imtiaz Ali's interview with Examiner wherein he stated that the music was not necessarily only in the geographical sense, but also in the change of the spirit of the girl"..... another mouthful, and reads awkwardly. It also is Examiner.com without italics.
• "The song in the Salt Pan desert ('Tu Kuja') had influences of the region"..... specify which region

Release

Marketing

• "Both these singles framed the score of the theatrical trailer"..... what is "framed" supposed to mean in this instance?

Credits issue

• unlink Imtiaz Ali, which is a DAB.

Critical reception

Songs

• "The Critical review board at Behindwoods reviews"..... incorrect use of "reviews", try things like "wrote" or "commented". Don't need "review board" bit either, and the site is Behindwoods.com
• "CanIndia News summarised the album"..... before the quote, this is a vague statement. Readers are looking to know whether the review was positive, mixed, or negative.
• "Critic Baradwaj Rangan summarised the album"..... same as before

Track listing

• "The track listing was released on A. R. Rahman's official website, the same day as that of the soundtrack's digital release" is completely unneeded
• "The lyrics have been penned by Irshad Kamil, except where noted" should be cited. Also, I'd say "All lyrics were written" rather than "The lyrics have been penned".

Personnel

• Why are Irshad Kamil and Sant Kabir not listed as lyricists?

References

• FN's 7 and 11: Twitter is a generally discouraged source, especially when high quality secondary sources are available
• FN12: Should read Examiner.com
• FN13: Facebook is also a generally discouraged source, same reasons as Twitter
• FN17: Same as FN's 7 and 11
• FN22: Should read Behindwoods.com
• FN23: Don't italicize "BBC World Service"
• FN36: iTunes shouldn't be italicized

Overall

• Well-written?: needs a thorough copyedit, I recommend taking this to the Guild of Copy Editors
• Verifiable?: Not quite
• Broad in coverage?: All major aspects seem to be included despite the overly lengthy "development" section
• Neutral?: Almost
• Stable?: Nothing of concern
• Illustrated, if possible, by images?: Soundtrack cover is a non-free image with appropriate licensing
• Pass or Fail?: Sorry, but I'm failing as there too many problems for me to place it on hold. Prose needs lots of work, many sentences are in shambles. Snuggums (talk / edits) 07:44, 4 December 2014 (UTC)