Talk:Hilary Duff/GA2

Latest comment: 12 years ago by TonyTheTiger in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: TonyTheTiger (talk · contribs) 08:27, 21 June 2012 (UTC)Reply

The much-discussed WP:LEAD almost summarizes her article. Make sure that each section has some summary statement in the LEAD.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 18:57, 22 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
You seem to have responded to all other concerns. I will now do an independent review.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 18:57, 22 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
WP:LEAD
 ? Uncertain of what you mean. Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
actress, singer, entrepreneur, author and humanitarian is what I would say.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:02, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 00:06, 25 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
Those art terms I would link on first use.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:02, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 22:07, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 ? Agree, but I think the way I've worded it seems fair. Popularity measures might make it seem too superfluous. Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 ? Are these notable enough? Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
Please add them to the article, if they exist. They belong in the public image section. Being a recognized sex symbol is an element of public image when relevant.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:10, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done; added much more info about this in public image. Stephenjamesx (talk) 00:06, 25 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
Are those WP:RSed?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 05:33, 25 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
Early life
 N After doing research, the BalletMet Colombus (also known simply as BalletMet) is a touring company. I don't think explanation is needed. Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:56, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
State that they are a travelling company.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:11, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 22:07, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
2003–06
Breakthrough film roles
  • It seems the reviews in the first 2 paras are about the films and not her.
I disagree. I think it helps understand her public image and general perception as an actress. Stephenjamesx (talk) 17:54, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
You need to augment that with criticism on her performances.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:17, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
Please see my recent edits to see if I'm going down the right lines. Do excuse me not formatting the cites. I will get to that soon. Stephenjamesx (talk) 00:50, 25 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
Whenever possible provide both the critic's name and the media in which he expressed his opinion along with the quote. Those two things allow the reader to attach his/her own weight to each comment. Also, link each notable critic on first use.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 05:57, 25 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
2007–present
Independent films and television appearances
Spell out and link LA Times and fix the bare URL.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:53, 4 July 2012 (UTC)Reply
2001–04
Santa Claus Lane, Metamorphosis and Hilary Duff
Deleted this sentence. It's more to do with the album's promotion than Duff's career. It is included on the Metamorphosis page. Stephenjamesx (talk) 18:03, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 18:03, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
Why don't we just link it on first use (with full name) and then spell it out subsequently.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:23, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 22:07, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
2005–08
Compilation albums and Dignity
  • "which also peaked at number 1 on Billboard's Hot Dance Club Songs chart, becoming the first of her three consecutive number ones on that chart." - 1.) Do you mention the second? 2.) Although outside your responsibility to this aritcle, it seems like you might want to add a column to Hilary Duff discography for Hot Dance Club Songs or at least ping several of the leading editors of the discography. If she seems to have her best success on that chart, that is something that should be included on that page. Her Hot 100 showings don't mesh with her album performances and belie her musical popularity during her prime. That will show she was a dance club star although not a radio airplay star.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 06:14, 25 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
    • If you do that, you can state something like. "Although not successful on the Hot 100, she had three consecutive Hot Dance Club Songs and (x top 10s). Outside of the U.S. her early career singles were most popular in Canada where she had 3 Canadian Hot 100 top 10 hits and her later career singles were most popular in Italy, where she had 5 Federation of the Italian Music Industry top 10 hits.", sourced of course.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 06:22, 25 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Mentioned second on this article; have not edited the discography, but will try to get on it. Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:49, 4 July 2012 (UTC)Reply
Entrepreneurship
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
Philanthropy
 ? Please explain Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
search for the term in the article.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:28, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y OH! Lol Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 22:10, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
Images
  • It is not clear why File:Gossip309 2.jpg is necessary given all the free images. As a fair use image, it is of lower quality than almost all the free images and does not add so much given how much we can see of her without it. The role is not presented as that important a part of this article.
 Y Removed; it's unimportant.Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 16:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 NFile:Hilary Duff @ Book Signing.jpg also and File:Hilary Duff Fayetteville 2006.jpg still not fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:32, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
 Y Done Stephenjamesx (talk) 22:07, 24 June 2012 (UTC)Reply

General comments: The article is well-written and pretty thorough. My main problem with the article is that the critical responses are summarized without any excerpt. We need a lot of Writer Foo of Big Time Magazine or Newspaper X said "this, that and the other" about Miss Duff. In just about every place where you say reviews were positive or negative you need to expand that with examples. Other than that please address the concerns above.

Ordinarily, I would Fail the article outright due to the extensive expansion necessary. However, in the spirit of the ongoing Wikipedia:WikiProject Good articles/GAN backlog elimination drives/June-July 2012, I will put this on hold for 7 days. Please respond to each concern on the subsequent line.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 06:50, 23 June 2012 (UTC)Reply