Talk:Hilda Vaughan/GA1
Latest comment: 10 years ago by MasterOfHisOwnDomain in topic GA Review
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Jamesx12345 (talk · contribs) 19:36, 27 April 2014 (UTC)
I'll review this in the next few days. Jamesx12345 19:36, 27 April 2014 (UTC)
- I was going to make a few points about the intro but it actually reads quite well and is reasonably clear and concise.
- "living on the local farms" - I had to "check back" to see that her father was a solicitor. I don't know if that is a reflection on my state of mind or whether more emphasis on her privileged upbringing would help readers.
- "in which place" - "where"
- Done.
- "...they lived for nine years." - needs a ref.
- Done.
- "The novel was very favourably received." - this sentence is very abrupt, and there are a few comments from papers in the source that could be added in.
- Rephrased.
- I'm not sure what to make of all the red links. Hopefully they will encourage the creation of the necessary articles, but at the moment it looks very 2004.
- It does indeed, sadly. I might get around to creating a few myself in due course.
- "...United States with her children..." - this came as something of a surprise.
I think the birth of at least the first one should be mentioned.
- It did, I've rephrased to put this point first.
- "in order to benefit his health" - some more explanation (if available) would be good.
- Explained as for the better climate.
- "and only minimal writing till the end of her life." - this isn't quite right.
- In what way? Do you mean that the Traherne introduction counts as more than minimal?
- I understand your meaning now--wording, not meaning. Reworded accordingly.
- I see the children are mentioned here. As before, I think it would be more effective if they were fitted in chronologically.
- Probably should. The biographies I use don't linger on her children, but I will try and find where they fit in.
- Fitted the children into the biography.
- The Fountain, given that it was a bestseller, should be linked, although there doesn't appear to be an article.
- Linked, but unlikely to receive an article unless I do it!
- "and furthermore was not entirely complimentary towards her" - "and was not entirely complimentary of her work" (if this is the case.)
- Done.
- What is an aper?
- Apparently someone who imitates. Perhaps Jones is meaning that the anglicized squirarchy of the border counties imitate English affectations? Not sure.
This article is very nicely written, and was a pleasure to read. Just a few minor points before it can be passed. Jamesx12345 20:16, 27 April 2014 (UTC)
- I created a navbox at Template:Hilda Vaughan that you might find useful. Jamesx12345 20:28, 27 April 2014 (UTC)
- Much appreciate the review and the navbox. I'll get around to enacting these changes when I have the time to do then justice in the next few days. Cheers, MasterOfHisOwnDomain (talk) 10:52, 28 April 2014 (UTC)
- Addressed some of the points. MasterOfHisOwnDomain (talk) 22:43, 2 May 2014 (UTC)
- Much appreciate the review and the navbox. I'll get around to enacting these changes when I have the time to do then justice in the next few days. Cheers, MasterOfHisOwnDomain (talk) 10:52, 28 April 2014 (UTC)
- Sorry about the massive delay in getting round to this - I've been bogged down with exams. This article is looking really good now, and I have no problem passing it for GA status. Jamesx12345 17:18, 9 May 2014 (UTC)
- No problem, thanks for the review! MasterOfHisOwnDomain (talk) 18:08, 9 May 2014 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.