Talk:Hinata Hyuga/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 18:27, 22 January 2017 (UTC)

Grabbing this for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 18:27, 22 January 2017 (UTC)

• If possible, could you find a better image for the character that shows a little bit more of her? It is not a bad image, but there may be one that illustrates the character for an unfamiliar reader.
• If you are going to use the image, then please fill out the rest of the “Media data and Non-free use rationle” as there are several blank fields.
• The lead needs to be expanded to include information from the “Creation and conception” section and the “Reception” section.
• Not sure that the references in the lead are not necessary, as these basic bits of information should be present somewhere in the body of the article.
• Identify the author by name in the first sentence of the “Creation and conception” section.
• Do you have any information on the actual creation of the character herself? The first paragraph is mostly about Hinata’s relationship with Naruto. I feel that this section needs expansion and revision/copy-editing.
• What do you mean by the last sentence? Why was he too embarrassed? What does he mean that he was not sure if he saw the scene? Make sure this is clear to the reader.
• The description section needs references. It should also be condensed, look at how the characteristics/description was done for Allen Walker for a model.
• The “Appearances” section needs more references to the specific issues/chapters for each bit of information. The “In Naruto” section only has two citations and I would imagine more would be necessary. Same applies to the “Post Naruto” section and “In other media” section.
• ”Post Naruto” seems like a weird title for a subsection. I would rename it something along the lines of “In film” as the subsection deals with the character’s appearance in film.
• I always recommend using the following source [1] while structuring and revising "Reception" sections. Your section is fine as it currently stands, but just want to give you a helpful resource when revising this in the future.
• When looking through the revision history, it seems odd that you have only made one edit to the article. Did you consult with any of the main editors of the page before putting this up for GAN as this article does not seem prepared at all?

@1989: I’ll have to quick fail this for now as there is a lot of work needed to improve the article, specifically expanding the “Creation and conception” section. Good luck with improving this article in the future. Aoba47 (talk) 18:49, 22 January 2017 (UTC)