Talk:History of Davenport, Iowa/GA1

GA Review

I am going being reviewing the article now. Charles Edward 15:38, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

1. My first concern is the intro summary. Its not chronological and a little hard to follow. Try putting the events into order starting with the early settlers until the modern times, rather than going backwards. The summary also leaves out a significant amount of time. Try adding in more details to give broader coverage of the entire history.
2. Colonel Davenport arrived in 1816 with the establishment of Fort Armstrong. He acted as a "sutler," or supplier, for the army's Fort Armstrong. Fort Armstrong was located on the northwestern tip of Arsenal Island with the purpose of monitoring fur trade traffic in the area and keeping the peace between local Native American tribes. He contributed to the organization and mapping out of the community, now known as the Quad Cities. He also aided in establishing plans for the first railroad bridge to cross the Mississippi River. Has no references - every paragraph should include at least one inline citiation, sometimes more depending on the points made in it.
3. Try to organize the header a bit better. For example, create a section for the nineteenth century and sub the first three sections under it, then do the same for the 20th century.

• • looks good, i made a minor adjustment.

1. On July 4, 1845, Colonel Davenport was assaulted in his home by several men who though he had a fortune in his safe. - "though" should be "thought"
2. The Davenport City Hall was built in 1895, at the meager price of $100,000. -in this photo caption the word at should be for. Remove "meager" unless there is a ref to show that was cheap in 1895
3. There are several short, one sentance paragraphs, try combining them into others to help the flow of the article

• • I combined a few into paragraphs. The MOS recommends that you keep paragraphs generally the same length throughout the article. In history articles, it is ok if you combine sentences on the same decade. I combined the ones on the 20s and 30s.

1. It is the second licensed station on the air - this might need clarified, the second on the air nationally? Second licensed , as in ever? Or second licensed that is still around?
2. Davenport experienced a post-war boom after World War II. - what kind of boom? population? economic? sonic? clarify please
3. By 1959, more than 1,000 homes a year were being constructed.[7] By the late 1970s, the good times were over for both downtown and local businesses and industries. The farm crisis of the 1980s hit Davenport and the rest of the Quad Cities hard. 35,000 workers lost their jobs through the entire Quad Cities area.[7] The Caterpillar Plant on the cities north side closed, causing many jobs to be lost. - You should change the tone here a little to be more abstract. Change good times to something like "economic growth". Instead of saying hit "hard", be clear about what hard means, starvation? homelessness?
4. The 1990s brought the beginnings of a turnaround for the city - again try to change the tone a bit, it needs to sound abstract. instead of "turnaround", say "return to economic growth". Avoid terms that are left open to interpretation.

• • Good enough for me.

1. I dont see much information on the development of the city government. When did the present city government system get adopted? What preceeded it? On what date was the town incorporated?
2. Finally, the biggest problem the article has is in line citation. All the refs that point to 'Svendsen, Marlys (1985). Davenport A Pictorial History. G. Bradley Publishing, INC.. ISBN 0-940286-05-X. need to be updated. Move the book to a new section titled "sources". Then replace each reference with the authors last name, comma, and the page number the supporting information is. - The page number has to be distinguished for each inline citation from a book. For an example see Benjamin Harrison
3. Also, this is optional, use cite templates for all the references.

The article is reasonably well written and well illustrated. While there is no obvious bias in the article to tone needs to be a changed in spots. The referencing is still B quality and needs significant work. The article also needs a bit more coverage on certain key areas. To correct the these problems see the points i've outlined above. Address them and this article should pass this review. Good job so far! keep up the good work! Charles Edward 17:24, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Very good! I am going to pass this review. Moving forward, as assume you are going to attempt to get the article to FA status, you will need to format all your references use the cite template, add more information on the governmental development, and work on the prose. In addition to this, I'd suggest requesting a peer review for more pointers.

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail: