Talk:Holden Commodore (VE)/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: 750h+ (talk · contribs) 13:33, 28 October 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Averageuntitleduser (talk · contribs) 04:56, 11 November 2024 (UTC)

Howdy! I hope to have comments out in a few days. Averageuntitleduser (talk) 04:56, 11 November 2024 (UTC)

@Averageuntitleduser: ? 750h+ 15:17, 15 November 2024 (UTC)

@750h+: Apologies, been having a busy week. I've made some progress on the review though, and I have all of today and this weekend to prioritize it! It is on track to be done today or tomorrow. Thanks for sticking with me! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 19:02, 15 November 2024 (UTC)

Well-written

• In the seven years of development — suggest "During its seven years of development" or "Across its seven..."
• Link "chassis" and "Opel".
• which would also serve as the basis for several upcoming GM vehicles. — perhaps: "which also served as the basis for several later GM vehicles".
• Mooney advocated for a reduction of panel gaps by an 0.5 millimetres (0.020 in) over previous targets. — remove "an".
• comprising its headlights, bumpers, airbag sensors and other accessory components. — perhaps: "comprising its accessory components such as headlights, bumpers and airbag sensors".
• "This production method", "This process", "This modular construction", and "This production technique" all seem to refer to the same idea. Of course, you don't have to use one phrase exclusively, but I suggest consolidating how you refer to the production method. Also, would it be possible to vary the starts of one or two of these sentences?
• applied to the interior where fundamentally — add comma after "interior".
• creating radically varied interior look and feel without much higher costs. — "look and feel" seems slightly redundant. Suggest: "creating radically varied interiors without much higher costs."
• Up to 90 per cent of VZ wagons were bought by fleet companies and Holden desired to attract more retail customers and the decision was made to develop a lower, sportier wagon as an alternative to SUVs. — add comma after "companies". Also suggest: "...customers; they decided to develop a lower, sportier wagon".
• the coupe utility version version — you know what to do.
• In July 2006, Holden claimed that the VE featured one of the best body structures globally. An extensive series of assessments, comprising over 5,000 simulated tests and 79 live barrier tests, led to Holden announcing that the Commodore had one of the best body structures globally. — these two sentences state some of the same information. Suggest for the second sentence: "They cited an extensive series of assessments..."
• any issues or faults — one of these can be removed.

Verifiable with no original research

Sources are consistently of high quality. Many regional and local newspapers or automotive magazines. GoAuto is used often, and its articles and authors give a good impression.

Spot-check

In progress.

Broad in its coverage

No issues here.

Neutral

In progress.

Stable

No recent edit wars or content disputes.

Illustrated

Illustrated plentifully. All images are public domain or Creative Commons and add to the reader's understanding.

Summary

@750h+: Impressive work on the article. There is a lot of content to manage, and it reads quite smoothly. I've listed prose suggestions for the first few sections. I now only need to read "Powertrains", "Models", and "Model year changes" (the last two sections read well). Many suggestions are copyedits so far, but I am still gathering thoughts on the overall layout. Very sorry that comments are taking this long; it is on me. Averageuntitleduser (talk) 05:54, 17 November 2024 (UTC)

Thank you for the review! I hope you don’t mind if I wait until all of your concerns are listed before I begin addressing them (avoiding edit conflicts on this page). I do give full credit for the article to OSX, who brought this article to FA status in 2007 and had it there for 13 years until its delisting in 2020. (OSX left Wikipedia in 2016 following a dispute on Commons.) 750h+ 10:19, 17 November 2024 (UTC)