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Latest comment: 6 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
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"with Sebastian Barac, Radu Bolfea and Marcel Botezan" - I'd say its unnecessary to specify these individual artists in the lead, especially since none of these artists have their own wiki article. I'd just say she collaborated with "Romanian trio Play & Win"
I'd definitely remove the piping of "Electronic dance music" to "EDM" in the lead. 'Electronic dance music' is the name of the target article and people non familiar with popular music won't have a clue what EDM stands for. Specify "(EDM)" in brackets after the first instance so you can continue using that term throughout the article though.
"For further promotion, Inna also had several concerts." This sentence comes across as a little vague, can you flesh it out a bit? How many concerts and whereabouts?
"with her mother, grandmother and grandfather singing as a hobby" - this is confusing - are you saying she sang with them as a hobby? Or are you saying they all sang as a hobby which influenced her to become an artist?
"For the album's release in Romania, Inna's fans had the chance to choose one from five pictures as the cover sleeve" - I see several issues with this sentence. How about simplifying to something like, "In Romania, the album was released with five different cover sleeves to choose from"?
You've got "Hot moved 500,000 units worldwide as of December 2011" in the 'Commercial performance' section, then "which according to Libertatea sold a total of 500,000 copies in France as of April 2011" in the 'Singles' section. Or is the latter referring to 500,00 sales of singles only? If so, please clarify?