Talk:Howie Morenz

F&f's comments

Here are my detailed comments on the lead and section 1. Please be aware that they have been written in a hurry.

Fowler&fowler's comments:

Lead

• He played centre for the Montreal Canadiens (in two stints), the Chicago Black Hawks, and the New York Rangers of the National Hockey League (NHL).
  • Slightly awkward. Might be better to say, "He played centre for three National Hockey League (NHL) teams: the Montreal Canadiens (in two stints), the Chicago Black Hawks, and the New York Rangers."
    • Changed
• Once in the NHL, he became one of the ...
  • Don't really need "Once."
    • Removed

• During his NHL career he placed in the top 10 leading scorers 10 times
  • I don't know what the MoS guidelines are for this, but I'd be inclined to change the second "10" to "ten."
    • Changed

• Three times in his career he was named the most valuable player of the league, and he led the league in goals scored once and points scored twice.
  • Would it be clearer to say, "Three times in his career he was named the most valuable player of the league, and he led the league once in goals scored and twice in points scored."
    • Changed

• After his death, the Canadiens removed his jersey number from circulation, the first time the team had done so.
  • How about, "After his death, the Canadiens retired his jersey number, the first time the team had done so for any player."
    • Changed

Personal life

• Born in Mitchell, Ontario, to William Morenz, Howie Morenz had three sisters and a brother
  • Where's the mother?
    • I looked around for her name, but couldn't find it in any of the material I used. The specific reference for that sentence only says William's name, and gives no mention of his mother.

• After starting the 1916–17 season as a goaltender,...
  • What league's season? The Junior ???
    • Added

• The Morenz family moved to Stratford, a nearby community, in May 1917.
  • This seems redundant information that doesn't seem to be used later. If it needs to be mention, it might be better as the first part of a sentence, "After the Morenz family moved ..., Morenz tried enlisting ..."
    • One of his nicknames, the "Stratford Streak," referenced where he was from; I've moved around the sentence to keep that included, as it was a rather important aspect of his life.

• Morenz got an apprenticeship with the Canadian National Railways (CNR) factory in Stratford.
  • Morenz became aprenticed to/with the ...
    • Changed

• In 1926 he married Mary Stewart; they had three children together, two sons and a daughter. Howie, Jr. was born in 1927, Donald in 1933 and Marlene in 1934.
  • Staccatto style. Better to combine: In 1926 he married Mary Stewart; together, they had three children, Howie, Jr. in 1927, Donald in 1933, and Marlene in 1934. (It is understood that it is two sons and a daughter.)
    • Changed

• Marlene married Bernie Geoffrion, who played for both the Canadiens and Rangers from 1950 to 1968, in 1952.
  • Awkward. We don't need to know when Marlene was married. So, "Marlene later married Bernie Geoffrion, who played for both the Canadiens and Rangers from 1950 to 1968."
    • Changed

• Their son, Howie's grandson, Dan, briefly played for the Canadiens in the 1970s
  • Since you are referring to HM as Morenz, better to stay with that, "Their son, Morenz's grandson, ..."
    • Changed

Regards, Fowler&fowler«Talk» 20:22, 15 October 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the comments. They've all been addressed. Kaiser matias (talk) 00:39, 16 October 2009 (UTC)

One more correction:

• In Montreal, Morenz began explaining his reasons for not signing to Dandurand but began crying.
  • Should the "but" be "and?" Fowler&fowler«Talk» 22:18, 18 October 2009 (UTC)
    • What happened was he was talking, and then broke down and couldn't finish what he was saying. I added that into the article, so this is all cleared up. Kaiser matias (talk) 04:41, 19 October 2009 (UTC)

1921 Memorial Cup

Hi, in the "Early career" part, the article says "While Morenz scored a hat trick (three goals) in each of the two games in the series, the Midgets lost the total-goals series 11–9." This can not be correct. The Midgets lost the first game with 2 goals to 9, so Morenz can not have scored a hat trick in both games. He did score a hat trick in the second game tho, but not in the first. --[GoAvs]^[Disc.] 17:23, 24 May 2011 (UTC)

Interesting point. I'll check out the book that I got the source from in the next few days, when I can get hold of it, so I'll remove that part. Kaiser matias (talk) 00:59, 25 May 2011 (UTC)

Thank you. By the way, I figure you're the main author of this article, so I want to say congratulations, good job! I was working on my 1921 Memorial Cup article at the german language Wikipedia when I detected that error.

Background: Just a few weeks ago I did a translation of this Morenz article for the german language wikipedia. Howie Morenz will candidate for "good article" at "our" wikipedia soon, please wish me luck. Anyway, as I was editing the Memorial Cup article, I figured something can not be correct, as I was sure that Morenz scored two hat tricks in this series. At least that's what I "copied" from the english language wikipedia. So I did a quick Google research and figured that Morenz can in no way have scored two hat tricks that year. So I quickly edited the text in "my" Morenz article and thought it'd be a good idea to inform the authors over here about the mistake.

By the way: I uploaded a few more pictures featuring Morenz, you can see them at "my" german article. Feel free to add them to your article aswell. For example, the funeral in the Montréal Forum picture might be a good addition to this article. The pic when the habs played against the Rangers is very nice aswell. Just a hint. :) Greetings, (and sorry for any misspelling) --[GoAvs]^[Disc.] 23:07, 25 May 2011 (UTC)

Cause of death

I do wonder if a pulmonary embolism (PE) could have been the cause of death. Does anyone know if an autopsy was performed? Bone fractures and being immobile are risk factors for deep vein thrombosis (a bloot clot in the large veins, in this theoretical case, of the leg). If the clot formed in the leg and broke off, it could have traveled to the lungs (become a PE), which can cause chest pain and death. Biosthmors (talk) pls notify me (i.e. {{U}}) while signing a reply, thx 19:56, 21 September 2016 (UTC)

External links modified

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Mispelling

If my special search is correct, this article misspelled "forever" as "forver". Atomic Sphere (talk) 18:56, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

@Atomic Sphere: Good catch, that's been fixed. Kaiser matias (talk) 19:14, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

Oh my goodness... I've been recognized!! Thank you so much!!! Atomic Sphere (talk) 19:25, 26 June 2022 (UTC)