Talk:Hunter Island (Bronx)/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Cwmhiraeth in topic First reading

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 10:46, 21 September 2018 (UTC)Reply

First reading

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  • Starting with the "History" section:
  • The Hunters built a mansion in 1813. Were there still Hunters on the island by the end of the century? Were there other houses on the island?
  • "Hunter Island was closed and camping was banned," what year was that?
  • Reference 13 needs to be formatted in lower case.
  • By 1934, the island seems to have been under the control of the New York City parks commission, how did that come about?
  • You mention places like "Orchard Beach" and "Pelham Bay Park" but it would be useful to know where they are situated.
  • In fact it would be useful to have a section before "History" describing the island, its size location and relationship to other locations.
  • Now that I have got on to the "Mansion" section, I see a number of the points I raised above are covered. It might be best to insert most of the "Mansion" section into their appropriate chronological place in the "History" section.
    • That's all for the moment, I will continue later. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:25, 21 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
      • @Cwmhiraeth: Thanks for the comments. To address each of your points: epicgenius (talk) 03:26, 22 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
        1. No, it was occupied by the Society of Little Mothers. Yes, there were other buildings. I just added some details.
        2. I think it was closed circa 1920s. This is one of those islands that don't really exist anymore, like Barren Island (also in NYC).
        3. Fixed ref 13.
        4. The island was under NYC Parks control by 1888, when Pelham Bay Park was established. The park includes this island.
        5. Clarified locations. PBP is the park where this island is located. Orchard Beach is the beach that this island is now attached to.
        6. I'll add a geography section later.
        7. I just moved that info up. epicgenius (talk) 03:26, 22 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • I think that the article is much better with the History section arranged chronologically.
  • I added a couple of sentences to clarify the bit about camping being banned.
  • "as well as granite with migmatite dikes as well as veins" - repetition of "as well as"
  • "some mugwort and Ailanthus weeds" - A weed is a plant growing in the wrong place. Ailanthus is an invasive species of tree but mugwort is probably just part of the native vegetation.
  • I look forward to there being a short geography section.
  • "lichen in the boulders, a rare occurrence in New York City parks." - Perhaps "lichen-covered".
  • The lead is a bit short. It is meant to summarise the main text of the article for the folk who don't want to read the whole thing! Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:27, 22 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
    • @Cwmhiraeth: Thanks for the further comments. I expanded the lead and added a geography section. I also appreciate the clarification on Ailanthus and mugwort, as well as on the camping. The repetition and "lichen-covered" phrasing have also been fixed. epicgenius (talk) 15:03, 22 September 2018 (UTC)Reply