Talk:I'll Give You the Sun

• 1st line: “it is Nelson’s second novel” • 1st/2nd line: “it won the author many awards” • Line 3 & 4: “something occurred between Jude and Noah that caused their relationship to be so turbulent” –maybe rephrase this sentence to make it less wordy by starting with “the twins were both intensely hurt, although in different ways, which made their relationship turbulent” • 8th line of first section: take out “also” • Background section: take out “really” when you say “really complicated story”

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Overall, this was well written. The only comments I have for improvement is perhaps more citations, and really double checking for the passive voice. It came through a couple times in the article. Moreover, I recommend checking for wordiness as well by eliminating words like “also” and “really” and any other qualifiers you might have thrown in. You had a good lead that provided adequate background information for the article. The sources you found are reliable and you do a good job at remaining neutral and balanced throughout the article.

This article draft has a strong lead section that does a good job of summarizing what the book is about. However, I would maybe take out some of this plot summary and put in a little more summary of what the article is going to be about, such as one or two sentences about how difficult it was for Nelson to write the book, and how critically acclaimed the book is. Maybe you could have the plot summary as a completely different section from the lead, allowing you to dive further into the plot and its importance. The sections are well-organized, and they have a chronological structure, describing first the process Nelson went through to write the book, and then the reception and awards the book received. The paragraphs in each section are pretty much equal in length. I really like the section listing the various awards the book has received, I think it is a neutral and professional way to show the importance of the book. Although the article remains neutral and only states facts about the book, there are no criticisms or opposing viewpoints against the book. Perhaps this is because there is no scholarly opposing viewpoints against the it, but if there are, it would supplement the article nicely if they were to be added. Also, in the plot summary, you should include that the brother character is homosexual, because that is a key plot point and instrumental to why the book is so important. The sources cited include an interview with the author and the author’s website itself. If possible, I think the article could be better if some information was included from sources not influenced by the author, since these will be biased in favor of the book. However, I realize the book is so recent that there might not be that much literature written on it. -- Waverly Hart — Preceding unsigned comment added by Waverly Hart (talk • contribs) 17:55, 30 March 2017 (UTC)

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This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Thesaramarie. Peer reviewers: Waverly Hart.

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