Talk:ISRO/GA1

Latest comment: 11 years ago by LT910001 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: LT910001 (talk · contribs) 10:57, 17 October 2013 (UTC)Reply

If there are no objections, I'll take this review. I'll note at the outset I've had no role in editing or creating this article. I welcome other editors at any stage to contribute to this review. On first blush, I would like to note that this issue will certainly prevent this article's promition to GA:

  • This article has numerous uncited paragraphs, sections and tables.

I will spend a day familiarising myself with the article and then provide a more thorough assessment. Kind regards, LT910001 (talk) 10:57, 17 October 2013 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for waiting. In conducting this review, I will:

  • Provide an assessment using WP:GARC
  • If this article does not meet the criteria, explain what areas need improvement.
  • Provide possible solutions that may (or may not) be used to fix these.

Assessment

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Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
  1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. The prose is very clear, respects copyright laws, and spelling is correct. However minor grammatical concerns (especially run-on sentences) persist, and overuse of acronyms impacts on readability
  1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
  2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. Chunks of the article remain unsourced.
  2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). See above
  2c. it contains no original research. Is not OR.
3. Broad in its coverage:
  3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. Covers the main points
  3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
  4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
  5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
  6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. Will check images tomorrow.
  6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
  7. Overall assessment.

Commentary

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  • This article is very thorough and very well-written, and will certainly get to GA status.
  • I strongly suggest that where a term is provided alongside an acronym, unless in a single subsection, the acronym is removed. For example: Indian National Satellites (INSAT) for communication services and Indian Remote Sensing (IRS)" -> "Indian National Satellites for communication services and Indian Remote Sensing." Wikilinks can be used to disambiguate. Acronyms clutter text and impact on readability, are confusing and can be inferred.
    • I also strongly advocate for removal of acronyms in titles.
  • There are some small grammar corrections that are required (mostly run-on sentences)
  • A large amount of text is uncited, which is unfortunate because the quality of the text is so good, and lack of verifiability is a key factor that would prevent this article from being promoted.

Goals and objectives

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  • variants "Dr APJ Abdul Kalam" and "A. P. J. Abdul Kalam" both used; suggest standardise   Done
  • This sentence "Hennock etc. hold that India also connects space exploration to national prestige, further stating: "This year India has launched 11 satellites, including nine from other countries—and it became the first nation to launch 10 satellites on one rocket."[9] " has a dead link, meaning that it is now unsourced.
  • Suggest wikilink the services here, to enhance readability: "Indian National Satellites (INSAT) for communication services and Indian Remote Sensing (IRS) satellites for management of natural resources; also, Polar Satellite Launch Vehicle (PSLV) "
  • "former president, A. P. J. Abdul Kalam " -> remove comma
  • "DRDO " is not defined.

Launch vehicle fleet

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  • See the initial comment about acronyms. These acronyms are used once. Suggest remove all acronyms in the section and subsection titles and in the introductory paragraph, and only retain acronyms where it is directly stated "commonly known by its abbreviation [x]"
  • "abbreviation SLV or SLV-3 (comma) was"
  • "usually known by its abbreviation ASLV (comma)"
  • "Polar Satellite Launch Vehicle " again, I advocate removing acronym from title and the (IRS) and (GTO) acronyms.

Earth observation and communication satellites

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  • This section suffers from lack of sources.
  • "overall coordination and management of INSAT system" -> "of the INSAT system"
  • "the Secretary-level " -> "secretary-level"
  • "The initial versions are composed of the 1 (A,B, C, D) nomenclature" “composed of" > "are known by"; "(A,(space)B, C, D)"
  • "application including OceanSat, CartoSat, Resource Sat" -> "and include... and Resource(nospace?)Sat"
  • "Radar Imaging Satellites.(space)RISAT-1 "
  • "PSLV.(space)RISAT." Also request that you use the full title for PSLV as for a casual reader the use of the acronym is very confusing.
  • "Synthetic Aperture Radar " suggest wikilink.
  • "operates RISAT-2 (comma)"
  • "ISRO on 1 July 2013, at 23:41Hrs IST launched from Sriharikota the First Indian Navigation Satellite the IRNSS-1A. The IRNSS-1A was launched aboard PSLV-C22. The constellation would be comprising 7 satellites of I-1K bus each weighing around 1450 Kilograms, with three satellites in the Geostationary Earth Orbit(GEO) and 4 in Geosynchronous Earth Orbit(GSO). The constellation would be completed around 2015.[23]" needs copyedit for grammar and sentence structure, and use of less acronyms.
  • "Atal Bihari Vajpayee " suggest wikilink and capitalise Prime Minister   Done
  • ”UTC.SARAL or Satellite with ARgos and ALtiKa “ suggest use bold instead of the garrish caps: "SARAL (Satellite with argos and altika)"
  • "ISRO has also successfully launched the Indo-French satellite SARAL on 25 February 2013, 12:31 UTC.SARAL or Satellite with ARgos and ALtiKa is a cooperative altimetry technology mission. It is being used for monitoring the oceans surface and sea-levels.AltiKa will measure ocean surface topography with an accuracy of 8 mm, against 2.5 cm on average using current-generation altimeters, and with a spatial resolution of 2 km.[27][28]" requires copyediting for grammar.

I will continue my review of the second-half of this article tomorrow. LT910001 (talk) 12:22, 18 October 2013 (UTC)Reply

Actually, so as to not spend my time fruitlessly, I will wait for some sign of editing before I continue. LT910001 (talk) 11:21, 19 October 2013 (UTC)Reply
There's been no action in a week. This article needs significant copy-editing before it can reach GA status. Would encourage renomination when the issues noted above and in the assessment table are addressed. Kind regards, LT910001 (talk) 05:38, 28 October 2013 (UTC)Reply