Talk:I Am a God/GA1
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Yashthepunisher in topic GA Review
GA Review
editGA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Yashthepunisher (talk · contribs) 12:17, 22 July 2019 (UTC)
I will be reviewing this soon. Yashthepunisher (talk) 12:17, 22 July 2019 (UTC)
- Lead
- I think you can merge the 3rd and 4th sentence in the lead.
- Clifton Bailey III and Capleton are same person, right?
- Wikilink Manna Dey, Rahul Burman and Asha Bhosle.
- Rahul Burman --> R.D. Burman
- Add a bit about what West explained in those interviews.
- "The song received strongly positive reviews from music critics." Remove 'strongly'. It sounds like a POV.
- "with West's arrogance being praised by a number of them." His arrogance was praised?
- Yeah, WP:NPV
- ?? Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)
- Critics did actually praise West's arrogance in the reviews
- ?? Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)
- Break the second para into two.
- Background
- Link Paris Fashion Week.
- he'd --> he would
- "Thomas Bangalter of French duo Daft Punk revealed in an April 2013 interview centered around their album Random Access Memories that during the recording sessions". Add a comma after Thomas Bangalter and Daft Punk. Also, the bit about Random Access Memories seems redundant to me. Since its not directly related to this song.
- Not done I don't see why the comma should be used and it gives information on how the duo became involved with West, plus the origin of their work as if I didn't mention it was an interview for that album I would mention the album anyway in this sentence
- "the duo used part of their time to work with West on music for his next album." I'm sorry, whose next album?
- "Kanye doesn't give a fuck." How does this quote helps the reader?
- The song represents that quote and the others in the sentence.
- Link Yeezus
- Not done it shouldn't have been linked in the body at all and I don't know why it'd been linked in the other section initially
- Why shouldn't it be linked? How will a reader know about it? Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)
- It's part of the main topic, which is why Kanye West is not WikiLinked in the body; look throughout his articles and you will see this is how it is commonly done. See Wikipedia:Other stuff exists#Creation of articles for proof of this being valid.
- Why shouldn't it be linked? How will a reader know about it? Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)
- Recording
- Who is Noah Goldstein? Mention please.
- Composition
- "West screams within it." This sounds kinda idiomatic.
- Again, WP:NPV
- Again, what is this? You should explain what significance this quote adds to the article. Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)
- There are screams at multiple moments within the song, so this info is definitely notable about comp.
- Again, what is this? You should explain what significance this quote adds to the article. Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)
- See comment no. 3 and 4 of the lead section.
- Release and reception
- Delink Yeezus.
- Replace 'West' with a 'He' in the third sentence.
- "Jon Dolan of Rolling Stone, in a review for Yeezus." The last bit seems redundant to me.
- The Ryan Dombal quote is way too long. Either trim it down or put it as a block quote.
- Live performances
- ""I Am a God" was first performed live by West at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala on May 6, 2013." This bit has been mentioned twice in the article.
- Only once in the body, where a more detailed description is given of the performance. In cases like this, two mentions are acceptable.
- In the media
- can't --> cannot
- The trailer of 2013 film House of Versace was set to the song, which included Gina Gershon saying lines such as "I was a girl in power since the day I was born" and "I am Versace!". So Gina Gershon shouts these lines in the trailer. But how is this relevant to this article?
- Not done it's set to the song as in those lines are reminiscent on purpose, listen to the song and you will see this.
- Again in Assassin's Creed trailer. Remove the redundant bits.
- Source
- Fix this green link.
That's it from me. Yashthepunisher (talk) 11:18, 23 July 2019 (UTC)
- Done for all except where noted. Yashthepunisher Pass? --Kyle Peake (talk) 13:58, 23 July 2019 (UTC)
- Not yet. Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)