Talk:I Am a God/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Yashthepunisher in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Yashthepunisher (talk · contribs) 12:17, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply


I will be reviewing this soon. Yashthepunisher (talk) 12:17, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Lead
  • I think you can merge the 3rd and 4th sentence in the lead.
  • Clifton Bailey III and Capleton are same person, right?
  • Wikilink Manna Dey, Rahul Burman and Asha Bhosle.
  • Rahul Burman --> R.D. Burman
  • Add a bit about what West explained in those interviews.
  • "The song received strongly positive reviews from music critics." Remove 'strongly'. It sounds like a POV.
  • "with West's arrogance being praised by a number of them." His arrogance was praised?
Yeah, WP:NPV
?? Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
Critics did actually praise West's arrogance in the reviews
  • Break the second para into two.
Background
  • Link Paris Fashion Week.
  • he'd --> he would
  • "Thomas Bangalter of French duo Daft Punk revealed in an April 2013 interview centered around their album Random Access Memories that during the recording sessions". Add a comma after Thomas Bangalter and Daft Punk. Also, the bit about Random Access Memories seems redundant to me. Since its not directly related to this song.
  Not done I don't see why the comma should be used and it gives information on how the duo became involved with West, plus the origin of their work as if I didn't mention it was an interview for that album I would mention the album anyway in this sentence
  • "the duo used part of their time to work with West on music for his next album." I'm sorry, whose next album?
  • "Kanye doesn't give a fuck." How does this quote helps the reader?
The song represents that quote and the others in the sentence.
  • Link Yeezus
  Not done it shouldn't have been linked in the body at all and I don't know why it'd been linked in the other section initially
Why shouldn't it be linked? How will a reader know about it? Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
It's part of the main topic, which is why Kanye West is not WikiLinked in the body; look throughout his articles and you will see this is how it is commonly done. See Wikipedia:Other stuff exists#Creation of articles for proof of this being valid.
Recording
  • Who is Noah Goldstein? Mention please.
Composition
  • "West screams within it." This sounds kinda idiomatic.
Again, WP:NPV
Again, what is this? You should explain what significance this quote adds to the article. Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
There are screams at multiple moments within the song, so this info is definitely notable about comp.
  • See comment no. 3 and 4 of the lead section.
Release and reception
  • Delink Yeezus.
  • Replace 'West' with a 'He' in the third sentence.
  • "Jon Dolan of Rolling Stone, in a review for Yeezus." The last bit seems redundant to me.
  • The Ryan Dombal quote is way too long. Either trim it down or put it as a block quote.
Live performances
  • ""I Am a God" was first performed live by West at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala on May 6, 2013." This bit has been mentioned twice in the article.
Only once in the body, where a more detailed description is given of the performance. In cases like this, two mentions are acceptable.
In the media
  • can't --> cannot
  • The trailer of 2013 film House of Versace was set to the song, which included Gina Gershon saying lines such as "I was a girl in power since the day I was born" and "I am Versace!". So Gina Gershon shouts these lines in the trailer. But how is this relevant to this article?
  Not done it's set to the song as in those lines are reminiscent on purpose, listen to the song and you will see this.
  • Again in Assassin's Creed trailer. Remove the redundant bits.
Source

That's it from me. Yashthepunisher (talk) 11:18, 23 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

  Done for all except where noted. Yashthepunisher Pass? --Kyle Peake (talk) 13:58, 23 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
Not yet. Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:21, 23 July 2019 (UTC)Reply