Talk:I Have Questions/GA1

GA Review

Latest comment: 6 years ago2 comments1 person in discussion

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 18:58, 15 February 2018 (UTC)Reply

Grabbing this for a review if that is okay. This is actually one of my favorite songs by her (this and "Into It"). Aoba47 (talk) 18:58, 15 February 2018 (UTC)Reply

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Lead and infobox

I do not believe that the citation in the infobox is necessary. That information should be present and cited in the body of the article.
For this part (The song was first featured as an intro on the music video for her first single), I would use “It” instead of “The song” to avoid repetition.
I would split the second sentence of the lead’s first paragraph in two, with the “Crying in the Club” in one sentence and the release as a promotional single in another. Right now, the flow seems off to me.
For this part (her then-group Fifth Harmony, it was the first song), the comma should be a semi-colon.
For this part (According with her, this was the "first chapter" of the album,), I would avoid using “this” and I would avoid using a quote in the lead.
For this sentence (However, it was later removed from the final track listing, after the album's re-materialisation.), the second comma is not necessary.
For this part (around a melancholic lyrical content), the “a” is not needed.
I would change this part (gets confused pleasing for answers) to (gets confused and pleads for answers)
For this part (Upon its release, the song archived a minimal performance), I think you mean “achieved” instead of “archived”.
For this part (It is on the limited Japan pressing of the 2018 album Camila.), I would use “her 2018 album” to make it 100% clear to the reader that it is her album.
Please include in the lead, a bit about the critical reception.

Background and release

I would use the same descriptive phrase for Cabello from the lead in this section.
For this part (audited as a solo contestant), I think you mean “auditioned” instead of “audited”.
For this part (version of The X Factor, after failing), the comma should be a semi-colon.
For this part (releasing two studio album), it should be “studio albums” instead of studio album.
For the first time you mention “EP”, I would spell it out in full (i.e. extended play) and link it for an unfamiliar reader).
This part (and a considerable amount of singles) is not necessary. It sounds like a fan wrote it, and should be removed.
Again for this part (and a considerable amount of singles, they) the comma should be a semi-colon. Commas are not used to connect two completely independent thoughts.
For this part (sold more than 7 million digital download), spell out “seven” and it should be “digital downloads”.
For this part (While touring to promote their second album 7/27,) add the year in which the album was released.
Something about this part (Cabello felt loneliness and sadness, writing songs to express her feelings and help her to get all of those negative things "off her chest.”) sounds quite sensational and not appropriate for Wikipedia. I would edit it to something like this (Cabello wrote songs to deal with her feelings of loneliness and sadness). I do not see how the “off her chest” quote is really necessary.
For the block quote, include Cabello’s name and the publication. See how I did it for ”Paper or Plastic”
For this part (her solo debut album which she named as The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving), there should be a comma after “album”.
Again for this part ( confront her feelings, the results) the comma should be a semi-colon. Please be more aware of how to use commas and semicolons in the future as it is getting quite silly.
The timeline of this section s very strange. This sentence (During sessions, Cabello returned to writing "I Have Questions" months later, forcing herself to confront her feelings) feels repetitive of information already presented earlier in the section. I would simplify this entire part (During sessions, Cabello returned to writing "I Have Questions" months later, forcing herself to confront her feelings, the results inspired Cabello to keep writing songs in which she could express her feelings even more until release that she was making music to “heal”.). to something like this (While writing and recording sessions, Cabello realized that she was making music to “heal”.)
For this part (As she explained in a message posted in social media:), it should be “on social media”.
For this part (she finally teased her first solo material), remove “finally”.
This sentence (In May 2017, she finally teased her first solo material revealing the title of the album and a release date for her first solo single, "Crying in the Club", released on May 19, 2017 along with its music video which features an intro that incorporates the first verses lines from "I Have Questions”.) is rather rough and needs a lot of revision.
For this part (On May 22, she published the lyric video for the song, it), you need to clarify the song as you mentioned two songs in the previous sentence.
You know the drill by now. For this part (On May 22, she published the lyric video for the song, it was later), the comma should be a semi-colon.
This sentence is rather rough (However, in later 2017, Cabello announced that the album's title would be changed and all material previously released (including "I Have Questions") would not be included on the final cut, revealing the new title Camila.) and could be revised to read better.
For this part (she no longer feelt those songs), it should be “felt” not “feelt”.
Make sure to have the album linked on its first mention in the body of the article.
For this sentence (She even confirmed that the only previously released track appearing on the album was "Havana."), remove “even”.
For this part (The song is featured as the thirteenth track on the Japanese limited edition.), use “included” rather than “featured”.
For this part (songs represented the artist she had become), I would just say “songs represented her as an artist”.
I would recommend either using an image of Camila or Fifth Harmony in this section.

Composition and lyrics

For this part (While many have regarded the song as a scorned ballad dedicated to a past lover, ), please clarify what you mean by “many”.
You use the word “song” quite a bit in the first paragraph so please vary the language.
These two sentences can be simplified and combined together (As the song title implies, the singer has many queries for the song's subject. Throughout the song, she express confusion, looking for answers and explanations.).
This sentence (While many have regarded the song as a scorned ballad dedicated to a past lover, Cabello has explained that the song is about a friendship that went awry, adding that she wrote it with one person in mind but that there are other individuals to whom the song is directed.) seems rather wordy. I would try to revise to make it stronger.
Revise this part (While singing the second verse, the singer wonders) to avoid the repetition of “sing” with “singing” and “singer”.
This section as a whole feels rather unorganized and bounces around quite a bit. The jump from the rather long first paragraph to the second paragraph is rather awkward. I would challenge you to look at this section and try to revise to flow more coherently.

Reception

For this sentence (n the United States, the song didn't make appearance on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, but managed to chart only on the US Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles at number 24.), just saying (The song peaked at number 24 on the US Bibbling Under Hot 100 Singles.) The other stuff is not necessary.
For the international charts, please link them.

Live performances

Are four references really necessary for this section (Cabello performed "I Have Questions" as an introduction to "Crying in the Club" at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards on May 21, 2017.)?
Were there any reviews of her performance for the above comment?
For this sentence (The song was further performed at the 2017 iHeartRadio Much Music Video Awards, and on Britain's Got Talent on May 31, 2017.), the first comma is not necessary.

Credits and personnel

The information from this section should be present in the prose of the article.

Referencecs

For Reference 34, Tidal should not be in all caps.

Verdict

I am sorry, but I am going to ✗ Fail this for now as there are numerous grammar and spelling errors. I would recommed getting a copy-edit from the Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors before putting it back up for GAN. There is a lot of potential here, but it just needs more work. Given the amount of issues that I could find from one somewhat superficial reading of the article, I think that it will not more work than I can provide in the span of a GAN review. Good luck with this! 06:44, 16 February 2018 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Add topic