Talk:Iconic (song)/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by FanofPopMusic in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 23:20, 24 March 2016 (UTC)Reply


Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 23:20, 24 March 2016 (UTC)Reply

Infobox

edit
  • You can remove the "Misc" feature in the infobox; it's blank anyway

Lead

edit

Paragraph 1

edit
  • Change to "It was written by Madonna, Toby Gad, Maureen McDonald, Larry Griffin Jr., Chancelor Bennett, Dacoury Natche and Michael Tucker. "Iconic" was produced by Madonna, Gad, AFSHeeN and Josh Cumbee, while DJ Dahi and Tucher served as additional producers."
  • Change to "... December 17, 2014, alongside twelve other tracks from the album ..."
  • I feel like the 'two other tracks' should be listed since you mention them; it's not 100% necessary though

Paragraph 2

edit
  • Should 'weird' be in quotation marks? It sounds like an opinion to me
  • Remove the 't' in 'Althought'
  • Change 'in' to 'on' in "Madonna performed the track [in] her..."

Background and release

edit

Paragraph 1

edit
  • Make the image 'upright'
  • Otherwise, this section is fantastic

Paragraph 2

edit
  • Is the part about Mussolini being arrogant necessary? It comes off as an opinion to me...

Paragraph 3

edit
  • "The leaked version didn't feature any addition by Chance the Rapper or Mike Tyson."
    • ^^ Can this be reworded? I get what you're saying, but can't the same message get across if you omit 'any addition by'?
    • ^^ This needs a source

Composition and lyrics

edit
  • Again, please break up the first sentence into two sentences, similar to what I mentioned in the lead's paragraph
  • Could the 'en masse' part be worded differently? Perhaps the average reader of the article might not know what's trying to be conveyed here
  • Since 'weird' is in quotation marks here, I think it definitely should in the lead
  • "She urges the listeners to 'making our voices..."; wrong tense

Critical reception

edit

Paragraph 1

edit
  • Neil McCormick's review sounds more like a description of the track than a review to me
  • In James Grebey's review, is the "It's a statement that's hard to deny, and in many ways, it's the album's lynchpin." part needed? It's seems overly long and unnecessary

Paragraph 2

edit
  • Should 'Rebel Heart' be italicized in the lead sentence?
  • The last sentence in Sam C. Mac's review reads oddly to me; could this be reworded?
  • Is the 'Only Madonna would.' part needed?

Paragraph 3

edit
  • The last two reviews sound kinda positive to me; do they belong in this particular paragraph?

Live performance

edit

Paragraph 1

edit
  • Nothing to add here :)

Paragraph 2

edit
  • Could you add a sentence to the beginning here explaining what kind of reviews the performance received since now you're switching over to the performance's reception
  • Otherwise, this paragraph is very good too

Credits and personnel

edit
  • Shouldn't the 'management' section includes courtesies for the featured artists? If applicable of course...
  • You include a 'div col' for the 'personnel' section but there is no column; please add one
  • The final statement says 'from Madonna's official website', but the source is the album's liner notes. If true, please changes to 'from Rebel Heart's liner notes'

References

edit
  • [12] - Unlink 'Digital Spy'
  • [20] - Unlink 'The Guardian'
  • [27] - Unlink 'NME'
  • [32] - Provide a link for 'Spin'
  • [42] - Unlink ' The Daily Telegraph'
  • [45] - Unlink 'The New York Times'
  • [49] - Unlink 'Entertainment Weekly'

End of GA Review:

edit

A very good article but has a few mistakes. I'm gonna put it on hold until the nominator can look over my review. Thanks! Carbrera (talk) 00:03, 25 March 2016 (UTC)Reply

Done. Thanks very much for all the tips and corrections. FanofPopMusic (talk) 23:57, 25 March 2016 (UTC)Reply

@FanofPopMusic: Fantastic work! It was nice working with you. Carbrera (talk) 00:20, 26 March 2016 (UTC)Reply
@Carbrera: Same here, it was really nice. Thank you! FanofPopMusic (talk) 01:48, 26 March 2016 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.