Talk:Imran Khan (film actor)/GA1
Latest comment: 11 years ago by IndianBio in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: IndianBio (talk · contribs) 13:25, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
I missed the chance for the Peer review :( but I will surely help you with the GA review. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 13:25, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks! :) GleekVampire | talk! 13:41, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
- External links
- Let's start with some problematic External links as per teh tool. Correct them. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 13:58, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
- Done The India Today links aren't dead. — GleekVampire | talk! 20:26, 30 March 2013 (UTC)
- Lead
- director and producer or director-producer?
- Done
- He then starred in I Hate Luv Storys (2010), Delhi Belly (2011), Mere Brother Ki Dulhan (2011) and Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu (2012), all of which were commercially successful. --> This makes it sound like these were the only movies he starred which is not. So rephrase it like "He then starred in a number of commercially successful films like I Hate Luv Storys (2010), Delhi Belly (2011), Mere Brother Ki Dulhan (2011) and Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu (2012)."
- Done
- I think the lead can be extended a little more. At present seeing the content of the article body the lead can definitely bulked up
- What else can I add? (I'm not very good with leads) :P
- Early life
- again, director-producer?
- Done
- Khan was educated at Bombay Scottish School, where he developed a bad stammer due to corporal punishments such as caning --> Use He instead of Khan
- (Short note, I loved reading about his childhood and the Gurukul) :)
- Done & thanks!! :)
- Khan then moved to Sunnyvale, California, where he lived with his father and attended Fremont High School --> A mention of the year would be beneficial to put the timeline into perspective.
- Couldn't find the exact year. However, an article does mention that he moved there "during his late teens". Should I add that?
- I think the portion from him returning to India to the film role should move into the Acting career section
- Shouldn't the Kishore Namit acting institute part stay in the early life section? — GleekVampire | talk! 12:16, 6 April 2013 (UTC)
- Well I would say no. Khan being an actor, and that he enrolled into an acting school and prepared himself as an actor is definitely a beginning of his acting career and especially from the part where he bagged the role in Jaane Tu. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 06:00, 7 April 2013 (UTC)
- Done - However, none of the sources have mentioned the exact year he returned to India. — GleekVampire | talk! 02:14, 12 April 2013 (UTC)
- Shouldn't the Kishore Namit acting institute part stay in the early life section? — GleekVampire | talk! 12:16, 6 April 2013 (UTC)
Will continue later. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 07:51, 6 April 2013 (UTC)
- Debut
- Khan made his debut in 2008 with Abbas Tyrewala's romantic comedy --> just use Tyrewala
- Done
- Khan was nominated for --> Directly write "Khan won the award for Best Male Debut at the 54th Filmfare Awards, sharing the trophy with Farhan Akhtar".
- Done
- Gaurav Malani of Indiatimes observed --> The article was published in The Economic Times, not Indiatimes
- Done
- Luck alongside Sanjay Dutt, Mithun Chakraborty and Shruti Haasan --> Luck alongside Dutt, Mithun Chakraborty and Shruti Haasan
- Done - Removed individual cast names; wrote "ensemble cast" instead
- The critical reviews for Luck, why not write them in your own words, there is excessive WP:QUOTEFARM in the section.
- And combine the Kidnap and Luck paras together since that would be coherent.
- Done - Combined the I Hate Luv Storys and Break Ke Baad paras instead; both films released in the same year.
- The I Hate Luv Storys receptions. Since you say it was generally well-received, that denotes that a negative reception was embedded somewhere. It would be better if you can topple up the two positive reviews with a little criticism.
- Done
- Another thing, wherever you are not mentioning anything about the opposite lead role actor, I don't think its worth the mention.
- Done - Removed Luck cast, Sonam Kapoor (IHLS) and Deepika Padukone (BKB)
- The image used in the section, does not add anything for the encyclopedia, albeit being a free image. Why don't add something from the Jaane Tu.. premiere with the photo of the cast? That way you can add a little more commentary. Check Priyanka Chopra and how the image for 7 Khoon Maaf premiere is added.
- Done
- Also, I saw mainly whatever is a critical perspective. Where are Khan's thoughts, quotes and inspirations for the roles etc? This will be valid for the next section also.
- Done — GleekVampire | talk! 02:20, 12 April 2013 (UTC)
- Success
- Delhi Belly, first black comedy by Imran, definite case of needing something from the actor's perspective.
- Done
- Khan played Kush Agnihotri, a man who falls in love with his brother's bride --> Khan played Kush Agnihotri, a man who falls in love with his brother's bride, played by Zafar and Kaif, respectively.
- Done
- Can you vary the prose tone of each of the film paras? Basically they have the same block structure "Starred in XX film opposite YY, mixed/positive/negative reception but was worldwide flop/success... followed by two critic quotes" Makes a really dull read.
- Done
- The para about Ek Main Aur EkTu is the exact thing I want throughout the article scattered. Khan's idea and perspective comes through here.
- WP:QUOTEFARM applies heavily to this section
- Done - Removed 2 review quotes.
- Lisa Tsering's critic is not catering to this film, its overall perspective of Khan's emrgence as a light-hearted comedy actor. Find a different review.
- Done
- Khan began 2013 by starring in Vishal Bhardwaj's Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola, ---> Start differently "Following Ek Main..., Khan starred in Vishal Bhardwaj's Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola (2013), "
- Done
- The film was a box office failure;[45][46] it (and Khan's performance) received mixed reviews from critics ---> Wrong construction, rephrase
- Done
- Done — GleekVampire | talk! 02:48, 12 April 2013 (UTC)
- Other ventures
- Give a one-liner about what's The Vagina Monologues
- entitled --> titled
- That quote starting from "I care about animals.." put it in a <blockquote></blockquote> template
- Can we get a little more info about the endorsements? Like did he promote them through ads, or came in print media, or went on a tour etc.
- Done
- Personal
- said of them --> said of them:
- He retained his mother's second name in tribute because she, a single parent, raised him on her own --> Rephrase the construction
- at age 19—according to him --> That should be a en-dash, not em-dash
- Khan's uncontroversial, quiet lifestyle ---> non-controversial
- Done
- Image
- This section is pretty good and well done.
- Thanks! :)
- Others
- Use WP:ACCESS on the filmography table
- Done — GleekVampire | talk! 02:56, 12 April 2013 (UTC)
On hold for 7 days. Good work Gleek Vampire. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 06:00, 7 April 2013 (UTC)
- Good job, passing the article. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 05:43, 12 April 2013 (UTC)