Talk:Indian Face/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Aszx5000 (talk · contribs) 21:18, 25 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 02:07, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Looking good for the most part. You have some sentence structure and clause issues, but it's all pretty minor. Ping me when improved. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 02:33, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

Hi @Sammi Brie: Thanks so much for the comments and review. I have made all the changes you suggested. Hopefully that is correct. Thanks again. Aszx5000 (talk) 11:03, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.

Copy changes

• General: Words like "enigmatic" and "iconic" need sourcing to back them up. That is a tall order.

•  Done. Understand and agree. The use of "enigmatic" to describe Redhead comes from ref [8] For John Redhead, who remains one of the UK's most enigmatic climbers,, and is apt for him. Instead of adding more refs for uses of "iconic", I have changed them to "notable".

History

• with many of Britain's leading climbers creating iconic routes on its buttresses; and the most challenging section is the sheer and imposing slab of the "Great Wall" on the East Buttress This is an incorrect semicolon use with "and". I think the sentence actually should be split. "The most challenging section..."

•  Done

• In 1980, enigmatic British climber and artist John Redhead, who freed Britain's first-ever E7-graded route, The Bells The Bells (E7 6c), attempted Consider using dashes to set off the appositive in this case: In 1980, enigmatic British climber and artist John Redhead—who freed Britain's first-ever E7-graded route, The Bells The Bells (E7 6c)—attempted

•  Done

• After several serious, and nearly fatal falls, he abseiled down to drill a bolt at his high point of 80-feet, and called this route Tormented Ejaculation, and left it ungraded. Two many ", and" clauses and incorrectly used. WP:CINS will explain why — there's only one subject. Try After several serious and nearly fatal falls, he abseiled down to drill a bolt at his high point of 80 feet; he called this route Tormented Ejaculation and left it ungraded.

•  Done

• In 1983, British climber Jerry Moffatt chopped the bolt while abseiling; and then climbed past it, but avoided the blanker groove to the left (what would later become Indian Face), and veered right to create Master's Wall, which he graded E7 6b. See above. Try In 1983, British climber Jerry Moffatt chopped the bolt while abseiling; he then climbed past it but avoided the blanker groove to the left (what would later become Indian Face), veering right to create Master's Wall, which he graded E7 6b.

•  Done

• On 4 October 1986, Johnny Dawes followed up the first half of Master's Wall, but before the (then removed) bolt of Tormented Ejaculation, entered the lefthand groove to make the first free ascent of Indian Face, the first-ever E9-graded rock climbing in Britain. Try On 4 October 1986, Johnny Dawes followed up the first half of Master's Wall, but before the (then-removed) bolt of Tormented Ejaculation, he entered the lefthand groove to make the first free ascent of Indian Face, the first-ever E9-graded rock climbing in Britain. You need a subject if you are going to have the comma after Wall, and you need that comma.

•  Done 'I want the truth' :)

• Dawes's per MOS:'S

•  Done

• The 1989 guidebook described it as: "A pitch Try described it as "a pitch — you do not need a colon.

•  Done

• What is a "flake" in this context?

•  Done, clarified that it was a "flake of rock" (most of the sources call it a "flake", although it could be called a shard).

• The event caused an uproar in British climbing, and the painting was removed, and repairs were made to the rock face. Try The event caused an uproar in British climbing; the painting was removed, and repairs were made to the rock face. This fixes the double ", and" structure that is lopsided.

•  Done

• Dawes' ascent, his rivalry with Redhead, and the repeats, are the subject Remove comma after "repeats"

•  Done

Footnote:

• British climbing pioneer Joe Brown, for whom that part of Cloggy's East Buttress was commonly referred to. Try rewording this so the "to" isn't hanging.

•  Done

Legacy

• The 2013 North Wales Climbs guidebook says: "Indian Face has established itself as the route of the 1980s. Seven repeats in the quarter of a century since it was first climbed and no onsight ascent, despite routes with bigger E-grades receiving more attention, tells you all you need to know." Try reducing this quote: The 2013 North Wales Climbs guidebook touts Indian Face as "the route of the 1980s", adding, "Seven repeats in the quarter of a century since it was first climbed and no onsight ascent, despite routes with bigger E-grades receiving more attention, tells you all you need to know."

•  Done

• Jerry Moffatt, and climbing partner Ben Moon, would abandon traditional climbing Remove commas — that's not an appositive, that's essential information.

•  Done

• "first E11" not "first-E11"; it's not an adjective.

•  Done

Sourcing and spot checks

• 5: An extremely bold line with very little protection, it made headlines in the national media as the 'world's hardest climb.' Y
• 14: Can you explain what this is used for? It does not have any quotes or facts that I can see.

•  Done. Good spot there, I have added that in 2021 (the [14] ref) he said the route was "massively undergraded".

• 19: Interview notes that Dawes freed all of these climbs. Y
• 24: Some people believe trad climbing has not moved on much since then Y
• 31: Article on Indian Face climb. Y

Earwig mostly flags quotes, which is fine.

Images

The image of Clogwyn Du'r Arddu is CC-licensed. Encouragement (not necessary for GA status): Add alt text for accessibility.

 Done good idea.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.