Talk:Infinite Space/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Damien Linnane (talk · contribs) 15:14, 10 July 2021 (UTC)

I'll take this one. Issues below are listed in order of appearance in the article.

• "as he first confronts first the aggressive" - have you used 'first' one too many times here?
• "with an anime short" - is this a film or written work?
• What do you think would work better? Linking "point-and-click" to Point and click or "point-and-click game" to Adventure game#Point-and-click adventure games?
• "replenishes the fleet health" - should fleet be a plural?
• "A recurring feature of the space ways" - what's a space way?
• "that can apparently open a gateway to a divine realm" - which part is apparent? Their ability to work, or that the realm they open is divine?
• "Despite multiple stands, the Lugovalian Empire ... " - what does this mean? Is a 'stand' a battle?
• "Kono had wanted to create a sweeping science fiction epic since his teens" - it might be interesting to note how old he was when this game was developed, if that is known.
• "As part of the promotion in Japan, an anime short" - 'anime' is already wikilinked in the preceding sentence.
• Can you tell us how long the anime short is? I'm finding this confusing. What is it short in comparison to?
• "Later speaking about its low overall sales in Japan, Kono cited choosing to create limited numbers of cartridges due to manufacturing costs." - I feel this is a bit unclear. Are you saying he cited the limited cartridges as a reason for its low sales?

The above bullet points encompass everything except the main Reception section (the sales sub-section is included above). I'm finding the Reception section a bit bloated, though the main issue I'm seeing is a lack of introduction for each topic the paragraphs cover. For example, what do you think about adding an introductory sentence to the second paragraph saying words to the effect of "The narrative and characters of Infinite Space received mostly positive reception, though some found them predictable and cliched."? I'd do this for the third and fourth paragraph too (have a look at the reception section for Resident Evil 5, where I was asked to do something similar). I haven't written a video-game article for some time though so I'm not sure if this style is commonplace, though it makes sense to me. Happy to discuss. In any case I do feel like the second and fourth paragraphs in this section could also be summarised better. The final sentence in this entire section ("Frequent complaints ...") seems to be the only place where you give general comments, instead of just following the "Person A said ABC, and person B said XYZ" formula.

All links are either live or archived. All images have appropriate licenses. Copyvio Detector finds no issues. So it's basically just the minor points and issues in the Reception section that need working on. Placing this one on hold. Well done overall though, I did enjoy reading it. Damien Linnane (talk) 16:14, 10 July 2021 (UTC)

@Damien Linnane: Hi, I think I've addressed the minor points above. As to Reception, I put in the summary and trimmed down some of the prose. I chose that style due to the relatively wide variety of opinions, but I could theoretically rewrite to turn it into two paragraphs of final summations and unique points prefaced/followed by a summary paragraph. --ProtoDrake (talk) 17:50, 10 July 2021 (UTC)

Really happy with all the changes. I think it's much easier to follow the reception section now. Happy to pass this. Congratulations. Damien Linnane (talk) 00:52, 11 July 2021 (UTC)