Talk:Irredentism/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Augustios Paleo (talk · contribs) 18:03, 1 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

I will be reviewing this article. More points will be added after the suggestions are implemented
Hello Augustios Paleo and thanks for taking the time to review this article. Phlsph7 (talk) 19:34, 1 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Prose and other

*The word "dispute" is repetitive

Done.

*"There are various types of irredentism. One categorization distinguishes between cases in which the parent state exists before the conflict and cases in which a new parent state is formed by uniting an ethnic group spread across several countries. Another distinction concerns whether the target country is a state, a former colony, or a collapsed state." This sentence is confusing: what does "before the conflict" refer to? Please rewrite this

~~I split one sentence into two and tried to clarify the meaning. I hope it's more accessible now.~~

*Images on the left side of the page are needed, as all are on the right

Done.

Link words in captions that need them like "North Korea", "Falkland Islands", "Ethiopian", "Somalia", "Korean Peninsula", etc.
Done.

For "According to Naomi Chazan and Donald L. Horowitz," "For example, Benyamin Neuberger" and other names of people, state that they are political scientists, historians, etc. Tell that they are an expert on the topic.
Done. I hope I got everyone.

"et al" should be in italics
Done.

Definition and etymology

link the first use of "Italian", "Italy",
Done.
Comma after "In particular"
Done.
"The disagreements matter for evaluating whether irredentism was the cause of a war" remove the word "a" before "war"
Done.
"definition characterizes irredentism as the attempt of the ethnic minority of the territory to be incorporated to break away and join their real motherland even though this minority is a non-state actor.[4]" the phrase "to be incorporated to break away" does not make sense
Done.
"Another issue concerns the reason for engaging in the territorial conflict. Some scholars hold irredentism is primarily motivated by ethnicity." these sentences could be reworded, something like "The reason for engaging in territorial conflict is another issues, with some scholars stating that irredentism is primarily motivated by ethnicity."
Done.
" On this view, the population in the neighboring territory is ethnically similar and the intention is to unite ethnically kindred people and to retrieve the area they live in.[4][8]" This sentence could be simplified, something like "the intention is to retrieve the area occupied by that ethnicity"
Done.
The word ethnicity is a bit redundant, maybe use "people"? I am aware of the complex definitions of nationality, ethnicity, etc., but if there are synonyms that would work it would help.
Done.
" It seeks to enlarge a state to establish a congruence between its borders and the boundaries of the corresponding nation." what is "it"? Irredentism?
Done.

Types

"Not all theorists accept that the second type actually constitutes a form of irredentism. " The word "actually" is unnecessary
Done.
Link "Yugoslavian Slovenes", "Austrian Slovenes", and "Benyamin Neuberger"
Done. Please note that they are all red links.
" The typical case is between two states. A classical example of this is Somalia's invasion of Ethiopia.[11][20" Use a different word than "classical", something like "textbook".
Done.

Explanations

"But only few are willing" change to " a few"
Done.
"It also matters whether the ethnic group is relatively dispersed or located in a small core area, and whether it is politically disadvantaged.[25]" remove the comma
Done.
"Structural accounts use a slightly different approach and focus on the relation" change "relation" to "relationship"
Done.
"On this view" is used twice. change "On" to "In"
Done.
"nation state" needs a hyphen
Done.
"primarily by a government that are not broadly supported by the population." change "are" to "is"
Done.
Hitler's annexation of the Sudetenland is used a bit repetitively, maybe find other examples? Some could be the Bulgarian annexations in WW1 & WW2, Soviet occupation of Bessarabia and Northern Bukovina, Guayana Esequiba, the Toyota War between Libya & Chad.
Done.
This section could use another image or two
Done.
"Rational choice accounts are closely related but focus more on the internal power dynamics within the irredentist state. " what does this mean? could use a rephrase
Done.
link "per capita" or explain in parentheses
Done.
link "enclave"
Done.
"A further relevant" change "further" to a different word, like "additional"
Done.
"One reason cited is that their rule is more inclusive concerning all types of ethnic groups. " change to "One reason cited is that democracies often are more inclusive of other ethnic groups"
Done.

Importance, reactions, and consequences

the word "countries" is repetitive
Done.

Often-discussed historical examples

"Christians" and "Muslim rule" should be linked, the latter to the empire controlling Palestine at that time
Done. I linked Muslim rule to Muslim world because this could be a complex issue.
"For example, part of the justification of the crusades was to liberate fellow " change to "justification for the Crusades was to..."
Done.
"The term originally referred to an Italian movement after 1878 demanding that some predominantly Italian-speaking areas in Switzerland and the Austro-Hungarian Empire should become part of Italy.[6][44]" This section is repetitive, simply say in the sentence before when the word was created
Done.
"Sudeten Germans" can be linked
Done.
"The invasion escalated into a major war of attrition that lasted about eight months. Somalia was close to reaching its goal but failed in the end, mainly due to a massive intervention by socialist countries.[20][47][48]" the words "major" and "massive" are unnecessary
Done.
"They had been under British control since 1833." change "they" to "the territory"
Done.

Related concepts

This section needs images
Done.
"Nations are usually based on ethnicity. But what sets them apart from ethnicity is their political form as a state or a state-like entity. " combine these two sentences
Done.
"The term ethnicity originates in the Ancient Greek term ethnos, meaning "peoples".[64]" this is not needed here
Done.
"This spawned various nationalist revolutions in Europe around the mid-nineteenth century. They often resulted in a replacement of dynastic imperial governments." link "nationalist revolutions" and "dynastic imperial governments"
Done. There was no meaningful direct link target for the full expressions so I linked partial expressions.
The second paragraph of the "Secession" section could use an example, maybe the Confederate States of America?
Done.
"But they differ concerning the motivation fuelling this attempt. Irredentism has a positive goal of building a "greater" state that fulfills the ideals of a nation state." don't start sentences with
Done. (I assumed you were going to say "but")

VERY well done, this article needed attention. Thank you! Will promote once suggestions are implemented.

Looks good, just needs some images. I think these could work:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ParisPeace-Venizelos-Map.png

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:China_map.png

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Greater_Morocco.svg

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Map_of_Assyria_Paris_Peace_Conference_1919.jpg

@Augustios Paleo: Thanks for all the concrete and helpful suggestions! I hope I managed to cover all the main points. Phlsph7 (talk) 13:41, 2 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

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