Talk:Isildur/GA1

Latest comment: 2 years ago by Mike Christie in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 11:24, 2 September 2022 (UTC)Reply


I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:24, 2 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Sources are reliable. Not an issue for GA, but since you cite Shippey twice you might move him to the Sources section.

  • Done.
  • Can we add the missing elements to the FUR for the image?
  • Done.
  • I think the lead could be a little longer; the article is 2200 words, which isn't that short.
  • Extended.
  • How about a short paragraph of background in the "Fictional history" section, above "In Númenor"? I think two or three sentences would do it: something like "In Tolkien's legendarium, Númenor was created at the start of the Second Age as a reward to the men who had fought against Morgoth, the primary antagonist of the First Age." Then maybe a sentence or two about the descent of Isildur -- if the upper part of the family tree is relevant to the article, we should tell the reader why. As it stands we jump right into narrative which isn't very helpful to readers who've no background in Tolkien's work.
  • Added.
  • Similarly I think we have to make it clearer that "Dark Lord" = Sauron, and we need to gloss "Elendilmir".
  • Glossed both.
  • In the video game sequence of events, is Isildur dead ("lifeless") or not when taken to Mordor? He can't be tortured if he's dead. If Sauron raises him from the dead we should say so.
  • He did. Said so.

Otherwise looks good. I knew Arwen and Aragorn were related, but I was entertained to be able to calculate that Aragorn is Arwen's cousin, 62 times removed. I thought about suggesting that the family tree be truncated a bit -- it tells a lot more stories than just Isildur's -- but I think it's fine; most readers will want to see the relationship to Aragorn and Arwen. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:09, 2 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Fixes look good; passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:53, 3 September 2022 (UTC)Reply