Talk:Isla Stewart

Wiki Page Structure

Hi, @Kfruiz:, I generally enjoyed this Wiki page on Isla Stewart, she is a fascinating woman that's made great contributions to health. I really enjoyed the details you gave of her work. My only recommendation would be to look at the sentence structure within your page. Some sentences are structured in a confusing manner, and if you restructured them you would add more clarity to your paper. For example, in the Career section of your page, rather than writing, "After working in the Training School for nine months Stewart rose to become a sister of the surgical ward with 20 beds, Alexandra Ward". You could write, "After her nine months working in the Training School, Stewart became a sister at Alexandra Ward, a surgical ward with 20 beds. (you can even add more details of the ward and its importance). This is an example of how your sentence structure could be clearer. Aside from these minor structural changes, your wiki page is very informative, and covers Stewart's life very well. Clavaden (talk) 16:16, 6 November 2014 (UTC)

Great start to the article

Hi, @Kfruiz: you've got a great start - an interesting subject who is notable! You've followed Manual of style guidelines for format, introduced an infobox and image, and have a good discussion of the subject of the article.

The article is good quality for an initial article! Here's a couple of things from purely and editing perspective that you might want to think about:

• Linking this article from other articles.
  • If you use this link, you'll find that there are two articles that you can link to now. You may want to add other links from other articles, because it will increase your readership... but that doesn't have to be done now.
    • I should have looked closer, neither of these articles relate to this Isla Stewart and this is not a key criteria for the article, but I'll look around and see if there are other opportunities.--CaroleHenson (talk) 02:38, 31 October 2014 (UTC)
  • Once that is done, the "Orphan" tag can be removed.
• You may want to add a bit more to the introduction about what makes Stewart notable: she formalized training programs, published a book, etc.
• Some of the content does not have citations

Some nit-picking things:

1. Numbers 1-10 are generally spelled out (9 months) (See Numbers as figures or words)  Done--CaroleHenson (talk) 02:38, 31 October 2014 (UTC)
2. Perhaps expand upon "the moral values that all nurses have to possess to be successful and effective." What moral values?
3. Regarding "In 1887 Stewart applied to become the Matron of St Bartholomew's Hospital in London, England, and was appointed in the summer of 1887" could it be shortened to "In the summer of 1887, Stewart became the matron of St Bartholomew's Hospital." ?  Done--CaroleHenson (talk) 02:38, 31 October 2014 (UTC)
4. Titles are generally not capitalized unless it's part of the person's name (e.g., matron of the hospital, Matron Isla Stewary) (See Capitalization of titles of people)  Done--CaroleHenson (talk) 02:38, 31 October 2014 (UTC)
5. This seems a little awkward: "Stewart created a system where the nurses-to-be trained for 4 years, after the first year..."
6. What does "Despite her conditions" mean? Is it "Despite her ill health"... other?  Done--CaroleHenson (talk) 02:38, 31 October 2014 (UTC)

I hope this helps. Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have about my comments.--CaroleHenson (talk) 15:40, 18 October 2014 (UTC)

Added one comment and took care of some nit-picky items.--CaroleHenson (talk) 02:38, 31 October 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Hi, @Kfruiz:

HI'm an online ambassador for your WMST 250: Women, Art, and Culture (2014 Q3) class and have just stopped by to provide a quick review and add what I hope will be helpful comments. I have a better idea now of what to look for during the review of your article and have the following comments

• Your article is well organized within sections and is written in an encyclopedic tone. It is linked well to other articles and has some citations and has a correctly formatted notes and reference sections. It's an interesting article about a notable woman. You provide good background about her early life, education and career.

• Suggestions: You may want to look at these World Cat listings for other books she has written, add a bit more to the intro to summarize her notability, update the citations to include more information, and add citations where there are missing citation tags.

• I added citation templates, like cite web. This does two things. First, it will correctly format the citation. And I've added common fields, some of which are blank, that could be addressed more fully complete the citation information, such as missing author, title, publisher, etc. For instance, right now, The first Isla Stewart Oration does not have enough information to identify if it's a book, who published it, etc.

• I noticed that three of the citations came from the Powers article. You don't need to add them as citations - and shouldn't add them unless you've taken information directly from those sources. It would be better to find additional books, journals, magazines, newspapers or other reliable, secondary sources.

Again, please let me know if there's a way that I can be of assistance.--CaroleHenson (talk) 02:38, 31 October 2014 (UTC)