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Talk:Jacques Villeneuve/GA1

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Latest comment: 3 years ago by Sanfranciscogiants17 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 13:22, 27 September 2021 (UTC)Reply


I will be reviewing this, though it may take a few days! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 13:22, 27 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

References

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Lead

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  • I wouldn't mention "amateur musician" in the first sentence, since he's not really that notable in that field. He has released some albums though, so if you want it to stay in, that's fine.
    • Have kept in the article
  • "he is the winner of the 1995 Indianapolis 500 and the 1995 PPG Indy Car World Series driving for Team Green as well as the 1997 Formula One World Championship competing for the Williams team" - "he is the winner of the 1995 Indianapolis 500 and the 1995 PPG Indy Car World Series, as well as the 1997 Formula One World Championship" - More concise.
  • Change competing in the last sentence of the first paragraph to participating, since you use competing again in the second.
  • "year at the renamed" - "year with the renamed"
  • "and took the" - "and the"
  • "1996 championship" - I would call it "1996 season", or people might think he won the 1996 championship.
  • "victories and was the" - "victories and becoming the"
  • Comma after Schumacher
  • "Following a poor" - "After a poor" since you just used following recently.
  • "2006 championships" - again, "season"
  • "and has competed" - "and began competing"
  • I would end the first sentence of the third paragraph after touring car racing (plus adding "and" before touring car racing). Then, start the next one, "Though not as successful in these, he did win the 2008..."
  • Link Officer of the National Order of Quebec
  • "of each of the Canadian" - "of the Canadian" - pretty clear that it is each of these.

Early and personal life

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  • "to the small principality of Monaco on the French Riviera in France's south-east coast close to the border with Italy to be nearer to Ferrari's headquarters and for Gilles wanting his children to be taught in French" - "to Monaco, since this was nearer Ferrari's headquarters" Link to Monaco should be sufficient to help readers know where it is. Also, Gilles may have wanted his children to be taught in French, but did they really move for that reason? After all, isn't French the official language of Quebec?
  • "The death of his father in an accident with Jochen Mass during qualifying for the 1982 Belgian Grand Prix at Circuit Zolder in May that year left him with a lack of interest in motor racing due to him feeling nervous over the dangers" - "In May 1982, his father died in an accident with Jochen Mass during qualifying for the Belgian Grand Prix at Circuit Zolder. Jacques became less interested in motor racing after that, fearing the sport's dangers."
  • "Villeneuve was sent to the French-speaking Swiss private boarding Collège Alpin International Beau Soleil by his mother and attended it from the ages of 12 (1983) to 17 (1988)" - "Villeneuve was sent by his mother to the French-speaking Swiss private boarding Collège Alpin International Beau Soleil, which he attended from the ages of 12 (1983) to 17 (1988)"
  • "Villenevue was married to Parisian Johanna Martinez from May 2006 to June 2009. They have two children" - "However, his first marriage was to Parisian Johanna Martinez in May 2006. They had two children before divorcing in June 2009."
  • "He has been married to Brazilian model Camila Lopez since June 2012. He has two children from the marriage" - "In June 2012, Villenevue remarried to Brazilian model Camila Lopez, with whom he has two children."
  • I'd merge the "personal life" paragraph with the non-racing ventures paragraph and make this the last section of the article before racing results
  • More to follow when I get some more time! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 13:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

Early racing career

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  • "five he would race" - "five that he wanted to race"
  • "His mother had preferred him to do a course in aerodynamic or mechanical engineering; although she did not discourage her son from taking up his career option" - "Though she had preferred him to study aerodynamic or mechanical engineering, she did not discourage her son from pursuing racing."
  • "an SAGIS" - "a SAGIS"
  • Spell out and link Cubic centimetre on first mention? (If you think it's too obvious to bother, that's fine.)
  • "Italy's Imola Circuit before testing a 135 cc kart and then a Formula Four car after impressing the track owners" - "Italy's Imola Circuit. He impressed the track owners so much that they let him test a 135 cc kart and a Formula Four car."
  • "He travelled to Mont Tremblant, Quebec in July 1986, passing a three-day course driving a Formula Ford 1600 car from Van Diemen at the Jim Russell Racing Driver School,[a] having been enrolled on it by his uncle" - "In July 1986, his uncle enrolled him in the Jim Russell Racing Driver School in Mont Tremblant, Quebec, where he passed a three-day course driving a Formula Ford 1600 car from Van Diemen"
  • "In mid-1987, he decided not spend time with his family, but attended the Spenard-David Racing School in Shannonville, Ontario to hone his abilities under Richard Spenard" - "In mid-1987, he left his family to attend the Spenard-David Racing School in Shannonville, Ontario, where he honed his abilities under Richard Spenard."
  • "because she was against him doing it and thought finishing his education was more important." - You can take out "she was against him doing it", sort of implied with the other info.
  • Link Salerno and Andorra
  • "He obtained an international racing licence in Andorra with Canadian Automobile Sport Clubs aid since the Canadian and Italian authorities would not grant him a licence since he was a year younger than the minimum age requirement" - "The Canadian and Italian authorities would not grant him a licence since he was a year younger than their minimum age requirement, so he obtained an international racing licence in Andorra with Canadian Automobile Sport Club's aid."
  • "which was greatly influenced by the squad" - "a deal that was aided by the squad"
  • "He initially struggled to drive a Formula 3 car and so enrolled at the Magione Driving School under Henry Morrogh's direction, where he gradually built his character and driving technique" - "Initially struggling to drive a Formula 3 car, he enrolled at the Magione Driving School. Under Henry Morrogh's direction, he gradually developed his character and driving technique."
  • "He was sixth overall with 20 points and three podiums after a late-season switch to the Ralt RT35 chassis failed to improve his form" - "A late-season switch to the Ralt RT35 chassis failed to improve his performance, but he still finished sixth overall with 20 points and three podiums."
  • At the beginning of the fourth paragraph, when in 1991? Was it after the season?
  • Don't really understand the second part of the sentence. Did he ask Pollock to replace his former management?
  • "with Prema but had not have the funding to do so" - "with Prema, but he did not have the funding to do so."
  • "He felt it was almost as good as the Italian series and did not want to remain in Europe" - "He felt the Japanese series was almost as good as the Italian one, and he did not want to remain in Europe."
  • "Villeneuve was the only driver to receive works support from TOM'S and got driver training" - "Villeneuve was the only driver to receive works support from TOM'S, and he got driver training."
  • "nine times for second in the Drivers' Championship and 45 points" - "nine times, earning second in the Drivers' Championship and 45 points"
  • "Villeneuve attracted attention in the motor racing world for becoming recognized ten years after his father's death" - "People in the racing world observed that ten years after his father's death, Villeneuve was becoming a well-known racer."
  • Comma after "In August"
  • Take out "received from race organisers" - doesn't fit well grammatically and probably unnecessary detail.
  • "finished third driving" - Comma between third and driving
  • "He was fourth at" - "He was also fourth at"
  • "He decided in November 1992 to become employed by Green on a three-year contract with personal sponsorship from sports marketing arm Player's" - "He accepted a three-year contract from Green with personal sponsorship from sports marketing arm Player's in November 1992"
  • Don't really understand the sentence about the 1993 Atlantic Championship. Did he race that because it was a level below CART or something?
  • Link Rookie of the year

Cart (1994-1995)

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  • "He began" - "Villeneuve began"
  • "for Forsythe-Green Racing in the No. 12 Reynard 94I-Ford XB vehicle after Green obtained sponsorship" - "for Forsythe-Green Racing, driving the No. 12 Reynard 94I-Ford XB vehicle after Green obtained sponsorship"
  • I usually prefer not to have redlinks in articles, but that's just a stylistic thing, so if you'd rather leave them in, that's fine.
  • "an five-car" - "a five-car"
  • "with Hiro Matsushita and was then struck by Dominic Dobson" - "with Hiro Matsushita before being struck by Dominic Dobson"
  • "Villeneuve qualified for his first Indianapolis 500 fourth and took second to be the Indianapolis 500 Rookie of the Year as the highest-finishing rookie" - "Qualifying fourth for his first Indianapolis 500, Villeneuve placed second, earning Indianapolis 500 Rookie of the Year honors as the highest-finishing rookie."
  • "Villeneuve finished no lower than ninth in six of the next nine rounds" - "Villeneuve finished ninth or higher in six of the next nine rounds"
  • For the part about Unser and Fittipaldi, clarify that it was a close victory? Otherwise, there doesn't seem to be a point in mentioning them.

More to follow! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 01:53, 28 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • "He finished seventh and third in the final two rounds for sixth in the Drivers' Championship with 94 points and won Rookie of the Year honors" - "He placed seventh and third in the final two races, ending the year with Rookie of the Year honors as he finished sixth in the Drivers' Championship with 94 points."
  • "Villeneuve and his team were worried due to their car being unreliable and under-performing in pre-season testing" - "Prior to the season, Villeneuve and his team had concerns, as their car had been un-reliable and under-performed in pre-season testing."
  • "He won the season-opening Grand Prix of Miami starting eighth and went on to finish two of the next four races" - "He won the season-opening Grand Prix of Miami after starting eighth, but he only finished two of the next four races."
  • "His season highlight was the Indianapolis 500, where he took the Drivers' Championship lead. Villeneuve was penalised two laps for overtaking the pace car but recovered to win the race at his second attempt after fellow Canadian Scott Goodyear failed to serve a ten-second stop-and-go penalty for passing the pace car before it had been driven into the pit lane prior to the final rolling restart." - "His season highlight was the Indianapolis 500. Though Villeneuve was at one point penalised two laps for overtaking the pace car, he re-took the lead after fellow Canadian Scott Goodyear failed to serve a ten-second stop-and-go penalty for also passing the pace car. Winning just his second Indianapolis 500 start, Villeneuve took the Drivers' Championship lead."
  • "Villeneuve went on to win both the Texaco/Havoline 200 at Road America and the Grand Prix of Cleveland as well as scoring points in all but one of the remaining events to clinch the title at the final round in Laguna Seca" - "Villeneuve went on to win both the Texaco/Havoline 200 at Road America and the Grand Prix of Cleveland, also scoring points in all but one of the remaining events to clinch the title at the final race in Laguna Seca."

Williams (1996-1998)

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  • I'd take out the part after Coulthard in the first sentence; unnecessary detail.
  • "to lure him from CART although" - "to lure Villeneuve from CART although"
  • "signing a two-year contract with the option for a third from the 1996 season" - "signing a contract for 1996 and 1997 with an option for the 1998 season."
  • "and his preparing consisted of" - "and he also prepared by learning"

1996

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  • "and finished second due to an oil leak" - "and despite an oil leak, he finished second" - Or if he looked like he was going to win until the oil leak happened, make this clearer.
  • "he had nine fewer points than Hill and needed to win the race and for his teammate not to score any points by finishing seventh or lower for title victory" - "he had nine fewer points than Hill, requiring him to win the race and for Hill not to score any points for Villeneuve to take the title victory."
  • "However, Villenevue's right-rear tyre came off his car, forcing him to retire from the race. He finished second to Hill in the standings with 78 points in his maiden season."

1997

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  • "Hill moved to the Arrows team so Villeneuve was promoted to lead driver paired with Heinz-Harald Frentzen, with whom he did not socialise" - "Hill moved to the Arrows team, resulting in Villeneuve's promotion to lead driver. He was paired with Heinz-Harald Frentzen, with whom he did not socialise." - Also, any detail on why he didn't socialise with Frentzen?
  • "one fewer than Schumacher and needed to finish" - "one fewer than Schumacher, requiring him to finish"
  • Comma between lap and but
  • "trap and giving" - "trap, giving"
  • "He was the first driver to claim each of the F1 World Championship; the CART title; the Indianapolis 500, and was Canada's first F1 World Champion" - "He became the first driver to win the F1 World Championship, the CART title, and the Indianapolis 500. Also, he became Canada's first F1 World Champion."

1998

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  • "Although he threatened to leave F1 and return to CART if F1 introduced grooved tyres and narrower cars for the 1998 season, Villeneuve remained at Williams with Frentzen" - "Villeneuve threatened to leave F1 and return to CART if F1 introduced grooved tyres and narrower cars for the 1998 season. Though these changes were adopted, Villeneuve remained at Williams with Frentzen."
  • "His FW20 car had one-year old Mecachrome-branded engines after Renault's withdrawal from F1 post-1997 and was noncompetitive" - "Renault withdrew from F1 after the 1997 season, forcing Villeneuve to race with one-year old Mecachrome-branded engines, which wound up being noncompetitive."

British American Racing (1999-2003)

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  • "Villeneuve was offered employment at McLaren for the 1999 season by technical director Adrian Newey because Newey liked Villeneuve's performance at Williams and the two respected each other but the offer was rejected" - "McLaren technical director Adrian Newey, who liked Villeneuve's performance at Williams and who Villeneuve respected, offered him employment for the 1999 season, but Villeneuve rejected the offer."
  • "and employ highly" - "and employing highly" (assuming this was also part of Schumacher's style).

1999-2000

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  • "for three Grands Prix and his" - "for three Grands Prix. His"
  • Where did he finish in the Spanish Grand Prix?
  • "destroyed his car but he was" - "destroyed his car but left him"
  • Is there a link you could provide to classified? If not, could you define it a little for those less familiar with the sport?
  • Comma after engine in first sentence of second paragraph
  • "points placing" - "points by placing"
  • "The rest of the season saw him finish fourth twice more at each of the French Grand Prix, the Austrian Grand Prix and the United States Grand Prix" - "He also finished fourth in the French Grand Prix, the Austrian Grand Prix and the United States Grand Prix"
  • "Villeneuve also scored points" - Take out also
  • Comma after Overall
  • "and reliable" - "and more reliable"
  • "and was seventh" - "and he finished seventh"

2001-2003

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  • "He talked to several teams about a drive in the 2001 championship such as Ferrari, McLaren and Benetton" - "He talked to Ferrari, McLaren and Benetton about racing with them in the 2001 championship"
  • "Villeneuve admitted" - "Villeneuve later admitted"
  • "but signed" - "but he ultimately signed"
  • No comma after 2000
  • Comma after Panis
  • "and set himself" - "and he set himself"
  • "but lacking rear" - "but lacked rear"

More to follow! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 13:33, 28 September 2021 (UTC)Reply


  • "his car's wheels" - Schumacher's, or Villeneuve's? Also, did Villeneuve have anything to say after the incident?
  • "He achived" - "Villeneuve achieved"
  • Comma between results and finishing
  • "He was seventh" - "He finished the season seventh" since we jump from first two podiums to end of the year.
  • I think you can take out the first sentence of the next paragraph, then start the second one "Before the 2002 season..."
  • Don't quite understand the next sentence. Who learned that Richards was now the principal, and why did this affect Villeneuve's decision?
  • "and was again partnered by Panis" - "and he again partnered with Panis"
  • "He became uncomfortable when Richards publicly questioned Villeneuve deserving a high salary, which he thought could be used for research and development" - "He became uncomfortable when Richards publicly mentioned that money spent on his salary could be better used for research and development"
  • Comma between Championship and with
  • "and was offered" - "and he was offered"
  • Add "to be willing to take on" after Forsythe
  • "He was initially hostile to Button, saying his teammate "should be in a boy band" and was not on speaking terms with him" - "He initially had a poor relationship with Button, not speaking to him and saying that Button "should be in a boy band".
  • "stationary behind Villeneuve, who blamed it on "radio problems". Button and Richards hinted their disbelief in him" - "stationary behind Villeneuve. Though the driver blamed it on "radio problems", Button and Richards hinted their disbelief in this excuse.
  • "no longer needed and replaced him with" - "no longer needed. He was replaced by"

More to follow! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 23:16, 28 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

Renault and Sauber (2004-2006)

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  • "upon BAR releasing him" - "after BAR released him"
  • Comma between challenge and but
  • "Villeneuve believed after speaking to both senior officials from the BAR and Williams squads they would want to resign him to their respective teams but neither move occurred" - "After speaking to senior officials from the BAR and Williams squads, Villeneuve believed that they would want to resign him to their respective teams, but neither move occurred."
  • Swap Villeneuve with he in the next sentence
  • "He opted for Sauber having been impressed with their professionalism.[69] In the following month a two-year contract was signed for Villeneuve to drive for Sauber from the 2005 season and help them attract new sponsors and partners. - "Impressed with Team Sauber's professionalism, he signed a two-year contract the next month to drive for Sauber beginning in 2005."
  • "Before that" - "Before his tenure at Sauber began"
  • "Briatore employed Villeneuve" - "Villeneuve was employed by Briatore" - keeps the word being modified next to the clause modifying it.
  • "following Jarno Trulli's sacking" - "following the dismissal of Jarno Trulli" - Also, any info on why Trulli was let go?
  • "He also persuaded Sauber to let him go to Renault since the car had Michelin tyres" - "Sauber was comfortable in letting Villeneuve race with Renault because both teams used Michelin tyres."
  • Make "At Sauber" the beginning of a new paragraph, describing his 2005 season.
  • "Villeneuve drove a difficult handling car as a result of a lack of pre-season testing and no money for car development" - "A lack of both pre-season testing and money for car development caused Villeneuve to have a difficult-handing car."
  • "team for he" - "team because he"
  • "purchased the team and had Nick Heidfeld as his teammate" - "purchased the team. Nick Heidfeld was his teammate."
  • Comma between content and and
  • Unclear whether the car was aerodynamically refined or less aerodynamically refined. If it isn't less aerodynamically refined, then move that descriptor to before less to clarify.
  • "Villeneuve attracted criticism from team principal Mario Theissen who wanted decent results to please BMW's board of directors" - "Team principal Mario Theissen criticised Villeneuve for not attaining decent results, thus failing to please BMW's board of directors."
  • "He accumulated 7 points from the first 11 races for 15th in the Drivers' Championship and retired three times"- "Despite retiring three times, Villeneuve accumulated 7 points from the first 11 races, ranking him 15th in the Drivers' Championship"
  • "exiting a corner and Theissen terminated his contract not long after to replacing him with Robert Kubica for driver evaluation" - "exiting a corner. Shortly afterwards, Theissen terminated his contract and replaced him with Robert Kubica."
  • "He did not want to be part of a shootout between himself and Kubica" - If Theissen terminated him, then I would take this out, as it sounds like it was not within his control anyway.
  • "Villeneuve twice failed to return to F1 with Stefan Grand Prix in the 2010 season and with his own team in partnership with Durango for the following year" - "Villeneuve twice attempted to return to F1, first with Stefan Grand Prix in the 2010 season, then with his own team in partnership with Durango in 2011. Neither bid was successful."

2007-2011

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  • Should be 2007-2010, it looks like
  • "convincing team manager Serge Saulnier he desired to finish the Triple Crown of Motorsport" - "informing team manager Serge Saulnier that he wished to complete the Triple Crown of Motorsport"
  • "2008 and Barry Green" - comma after 2008
  • Comma after Villeneuve in the next sentence
  • "for Peugeot with Gené and Minassian in his first race victory for 11 years" - "for Peugeot, driving with Gené and Minassian. The victory was his first of any sort in 11 years."
  • "second the" - "second in the"
  • Comma between again and sharing
  • Add however after ref 77
  • Mention that Circuit Gilles Villeneuve is in Montreal - helps explain where the Montreal course was later on.
  • "He took 16th" - "He also took 16th"
  • "with a best result of fourth" - "finishing fourth" - best is only supposed to be used when 3 or more things are being compared.
  • "Villeneuve entered the Spa 24 Hours in 2009; driving Gravity Racing International's No. 118 Mosler MT900R GT3 in the G2 category alongside Vincent Radermecker, Loris de Sordi and Ho-Pin Tung but failed to finish" - "Villeneuve entered the Spa 24 Hours in 2009. He drove Gravity Racing International's No. 118 Mosler MT900R GT3 in the G2 category alongside Vincent Radermecker, Loris de Sordi and Ho-Pin Tung; however, the teammates failed to finish."
  • Comma after 2009 Nationwide Series
  • "road course at" - "road courses at"
  • Link Watkins Glen
  • "Montreal starting" - "Montreal, where he started"
  • "Villeneuve got the chance to enter" - "Villeneuve entered"
  • "Motor Speedway again driving Braun Racing's No. 32 car finishing 29th" - "Motor Speedway, finishing 29th while again driving Braun Racing's No. 32 car"
  • "He finished the first race 22nd and fifth in the second" - "He finished 22nd in the first race and fifth in the second"
  • Comma after V8 Supercars Championship

2011-present

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  • "road course rounds" - "road course races"
  • " he joined Shell V-Power Racing for the Stock Car Corrida do Milhão for the 2011 championship of Stock Car Brasil but was concerned with adapting to his car" - " he joined Shell V-Power Racing for the Stock Car Corrida do Milhão for the 2011 championship of Stock Car Brasil despite concerns about adapting to his car"
  • "he participated three rounds in the No. 51 Kelly Racing Holden Commodore in place of the injured Greg Murphy.[111] Villeneuve finished no higher than 24th in those three rounds" - "he filled in for the injured Greg Murphy in three races in the No. 51 Kelly Racing Holden Commodore, finishing no higher than 24th"
  • "Villeneuve was considered for a full-time seat at Kelly Racing in the 2013 International V8 Supercars Championship having become interested in the series but no agreement was reached." - "When Villeneuve expressed interest in the International V8 Supercars Championship, he was considered for a full-time seat at Kelly Racing in 2013, but no agreement was reached."
  • I'd take out the part after Cayrolle in the second sentence - doesn't fit well grammatically and probably unnecessary detail.
  • "due to non-supportive statements he made on his team or rallycross" - "due to non-supportive statements he made concerning his team and rallycross"
  • "Villeneuve agreed to make his first entry in the Indianapolis 500 for 19 years driving Schmidt Peterson Hamilton Motorsports' No. 5 Dallara DW12-Honda third car entry" - "Villeneuve entered the Indianapolis 500 for the first time in 19 years, driving Schmidt Peterson Hamilton Motorsports' third car, the No. 5 Dallara DW12-Honda"
  • "He changed his view on returning to American open-wheel racing after the 2012 introduction of a new car and engine formula" - "Though he had planned never to return to American open-wheel racing, he changed his mind after the 2012 introduction of a new car and engine formula."
  • Can probably take out the sentence about the seat fitting - seems like unnecessary detail.

More to follow! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 03:11, 30 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • Insert "with" between partner and Stephane
  • "He observed Formula E" - "Villeneuve had observed Formula E"
  • "throughout 2014 having liked its bumpy city tracks and Guido Pastor called him to test a car after which he got the drive" - "throughout 2014, admiring its bumpy city tracks. Guido Pastor asked him to test a car, after which he got selected to drive"
  • "one-off" - "one-race" (unless there's a better word than race)
  • No comma needed after 2018 season
  • "For the 2020 season, he entered that year's Whelen Euro Series with his own team FEED Vict Racing with Patrick Lemarié,[140] driving four rounds in the No. 5 car, achieving two top fives for 21st overall and 104 points in the Elite 1 Division" - "For the 2020 season, he entered the Whelen Euro Series with FEED Vict Racing, a team owned by him and Patrick Lemarié. Driving four races in the No. 5 car, he achieved two top fives for 104 points (21st overall) in the Elite 1 Division"
  • Last sentence needs updating-has he raced yet this year?

Non-racing ventures and personal life

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  • "in Paris to know how his music would sound" - "in Paris in order to better hear his music"
  • " He travelled to England to record with the Tenebrae Choir. Villeneuve recorded nearly every day for a month before stopping to prioritise motor racing" - " Travelling to England with the Tenebrae Choir, Villeneuve recorded nearly every day for a month before stopping to prioritise motor racing"
  • "and an acoustic rock album Private Paradise with 13 songs (nine in French and four in English) in 2007" - "followed by an acoustic rock album Private Paradise with 13 songs (nine in French and four in English) in 2007"
  • "he performed" - "he also performed"
  • No comma after December 2009
  • Did he marry Camilla Lopez in June 2009, or was it a different year?

Public image and personality

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  • "disrepute but Max Mosely" - "disrepute. However, Max Mosely"
  • "commented it would be a benefit having a controversial figure in Villeneuve when he was no longer successful" - "commented that Villeneuve's controversies would benefit him when he was no longer successful"
  • "public relations appearances for him and he limited" - Comma between him and and
  • "press at Grands Prix but noted others desired Villeneuve's approach focused on racing and not on "extraneous commitments"." - "press at Grands Prix, but Bishop noted that others appreciated Villeneuve's focus on racing instead of "extraneous commitments".
  • "He resisted" - "Villeneuve resisted"
  • "He resisted joining the Grand Prix Drivers' Association (GPDA) which he believed would serve only the interests of drivers and not F1's until late 2000 when he felt his views were being ignored" - "He initially refused to join the Grand Prix Drivers' Association (GPDA), which he believed would serve only the interests of drivers and not F1's. However, he finally joined in late 2000, feeling his views were being ignored"
  • "after being unhappy with its president Schumacher being deemed to have purposely stopped during qualifying for the 2006 Monaco Grand Prix" - "because he was unhappy that its president, Schumacher, had been deemed to have purposely stopped during qualifying for the 2006 Monaco Grand Prix"

Driving ability and racing helmet

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  • " driving "spectacular" and "hard-charging" that frequently went past the edge of available track to increase his momentum insofar as possible" - " driving as "spectacular" and "hard-charging". Villeneuve frequently goes past the edge of available track to increase his momentum as much as possible"
  • I'd take out "to setup the car" - gets in the way of the flow of the sentence and probably can be inferred.
  • "his driving ability" - "his driving style"
  • "and give up components of risk-taking" - "and take fewer risks"
  • "on his father's and reportedly came up with it on a doodling pad" - "on his father's, reportedly drawing it himself on a doodling pad"
  • "was competing at and her pencils to produce the design" - "was competing at, and he used her pencils to produce the design"

Other than the aforementioned suggestions, the article looks good! Let me know when you're finished with them, and I'll give it another look to see if anything more is needed! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 21:23, 1 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

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