Talk:Jacquie Sturm/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 22:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

Can review. shortly Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 22:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

• What makes FN 17 (Medium.com) a relaible source?

Hi, so the reason for the Medium article being cited is because it includes an image of this letter by Janet Frame, which has been quoted. The letter is described in the Medium article caption as "research photo from Spiral collection in the Alexander Turnbull Library; reproduced by permission of the Janet Frame Literary Trust". The author of the article, Marian Evans, was a member of Spiral Collectives and has also written this article for a reputable source about the history of the organisation. Does that help address the concern? Thanks, Chocmilk03 (talk) 20:52, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Yes, that's reasonable. Thanks Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 00:44, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• Two images are appropriately licensed
• more to come Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 14:28, 6 March 2021 (UTC)
• Per WP:LEDECITE, are the citations needed in the lede?

• Thanks for that link! I don't think any of the citations are needed; none of the points made are controversial. Removed accordingly.

• "Sturm was born in 1927" Is there a reason not to give the specific date in the body?

• Nope, added specific date.

• "was raised by her maternal grandmother Tautokai until she was four." what about the father?

• Further details added from the DNZB source.

• "Due to her grandmother's illness" What illness?

• Does the rewording help? I can't find anything about what kind of illness it was, but hopefully it's now more clear when/how it arose as an issue.

• " favouring returned servicemen" I don't think it's immediately clear what "servicemen" are and what they have "returned from"

• Now amended for clarity, thanks.

• "Sturm had her first poem published" do you have a date?

• Not been able to find one but I'll keep searching!

• "when he took over the role from Baxter" date?

• 1948, now added.

• " was commended as being of exceptional merit," by who?

• I can't find anything explicitly stating who (all the sources just say something along the lines of, her MA thesis "was commended as being of exceptional merit and awarded first class honours" (in addition to FN8, see also her DNZB entry and the obituaries). My guess/assumption is that this would have been by the university, as part of awarding a first, but can't find anything directly in support.

• " she used the pen name J.C. Sturm" is it really a pen name if it's just her initials?

• Agreed, now amended.

• Saying "It is clear that Baxter, at least, did not view this as a permanent separation" feels a little bit like editorialization given that I don't see that explicitly stated in the source provided

• Agreed, removed.

• I've checked some other references, they all line up

• Thanks!

• How does FN 9 meet WP:SCHOLARSHIP?

• Not being used as a source as such, but just as a link to her MA thesis. FN 8 is the source for it having been commended as exceptional merit, awarded 1st class honours. Would FN 9 work better as an external link, do you think? (in the same way as her poems?)

• No evidence of Copyvio (earwigs flags a mirror and quotations/proper names etc)
• Close to meeting the GA criteria, some thoughts above. Nothing major, suggestions and happy to be convinced otherwise on them. Nice work! Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 01:06, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• Marvellous, thank you so much. Very pleased and thanks for the helpful feedback/copyediting! I have addressed the points above to the extent possible, and happy to work on it further if you have any additional thoughts. Chocmilk03 (talk) 10:59, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• Very nicely done, FN 9 is fine to support what it does, on second thought. Happy to promote as meeting the GA criteria. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 01:20, 15 March 2021 (UTC)

• Thanks Eddie891, really appreciated! Cheers, Chocmilk03 (talk) 07:45, 15 March 2021 (UTC)