Talk:Jade Bird/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Edwininlondon (talk · contribs) 13:36, 24 April 2021 (UTC)

With the caveats that I am not a native speaker and not a music expert I am happy to review this against the GA criteria as part of WikiProject Women in Green. Edwininlondon (talk) 13:36, 24 April 2021 (UTC)

This looks in pretty good shape and will not take long. Nice piece of work! Just a few comments:

• at that time --> I don't think we need this

Agreed. Removed it. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 21:36, 25 April 2021 (UTC)

• acoustic-based songs --> is this general Acoustic music or do you mean acoustic guitar? Either way, add a link

Mentioned in the Irish Times reference but have reduced the sentence to just saying 'songs' as the 'acoustic-based' was unnecessary. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 21:36, 25 April 2021 (UTC)

• Rhinebeck and Palenville. --> may I suggest you add this is in New York?

Done. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 21:36, 25 April 2021 (UTC)

• of The Felice Brothers fame --> I'm not so sure of this expression is the right voice for an encyclopedia

Removed the 'fame' part. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 21:36, 25 April 2021 (UTC)

• 'musical masterpieces' --> is there a reason why these are single quotes and all the others are in double quotes?
• single "Lottery"; a punk-influenced song --> I would use a comma instead of a ;
• At the time, this made her only the fifth --> I don't think we need ta the time, as anyone later would be number 6
• "I Get No Joy"; the fourth single --> I would use a comma instead of a ;
• May I suggest the 2019–2021: section starts with a link to the Jade Bird (album), using the main template?

Addressed all up to this point. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 22:04, 25 April 2021 (UTC)

• It was a bit of a surprise to end up on Jade Bird (album) page from the link "self-titled debut studio album". It would be better to find a way to use Jade Bird in the sentence and use that as link label.
• 'a triumph' --> single quotes?
• This was streamed on 29 May 2020. --> any chance of integrating this into the previous sentence?

Sorted, thanks. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 18:43, 26 April 2021 (UTC)

• Bird also announced a return to touring, with a headline show at Shepherd's Bush Empire in March 2021 being planned --> did it happen?

No, sadly not. Due to a complete lack of sources about the tour and what happened with it, I've had to remove that. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 18:43, 26 April 2021 (UTC)

• separation of her parents, Bird comments --> I would break this very long sentence in 2 by replacing this , with an . I also question the use of the present tense here. Any specific reason?
• the likes of --> is this the right tone for an encyclopedia?
• Music Week states --> all previous comments were in past tense, why switch to present?
• Rolling Stone described her vocals as "raw and robust" and describes --> same thing here, mix of past and present. Check rest of article as well.
• 'gigantic and gravelly voice' --> single quotes?

Attempted to address all up to this point. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 19:19, 26 April 2021 (UTC)

• speaking about herself --> do we really need this?

Agree it's not needed so removed. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 19:20, 26 April 2021 (UTC)

• I would add: Laura Snapes, writing in the Guardian'...

Agreed. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)

• Bird avoids the use of co-writers, commenting on the matter "[wanting] --> I'm not sure this works well. Perhaps something simpler like: Bird avoids the use of co-writers. She once explained that "[wanting]

Reworded. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)

• musicians, "I can never --> I feel a verb is missing here. Perhaps something along the lines of ".. musicians, stating "I can never

Verb added. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)

• A quick Google search suggests she has a new EP out. Something to add?

Added a sentence and a ref. Also added to her discography. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)

I'll have a look at the sources and image rights later. Edwininlondon (talk) 16:23, 24 April 2021 (UTC)

Thank you very much for the review! I will take a look later. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 10:56, 25 April 2021 (UTC)

@Edwininlondon: - I've had a go at addressing all points thus far. Please let me know what else needs doing. :) Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)

Great! All that is left for me is check the references, do a spot check. I checked image licenses, and they look fine. A few comments so far:

• images need alt text

Sorted, thanks. Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 11:23, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

• in preview mode I get this error: Warning: Page using Template:Infobox musical artist with unknown parameter "background" (this message is shown only in preview).

I'm not really sure how to fix this. Is there anything irregular about the infobox? Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 11:23, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

I shall find some time tomorrow to do the spot check. Edwininlondon (talk) 21:58, 27 April 2021 (UTC)

• Spot checks: 1, 5, 6, 13, 32, 33, 70, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89 all ok
• #3 does not verify "where she lived until she was two".
• #4 does not mention London, Germany, Bridgend,

Hopefully not too hard to fix. Edwininlondon (talk) 06:43, 28 April 2021 (UTC)

@Edwininlondon: I've addressed both of these issues now, thanks Spiderone^{(Talk to Spider)} 11:40, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

I believe the article now meets all the requirements for passing. Great work! Edwininlondon (talk) 17:35, 4 May 2021 (UTC)