Talk:Jade Etherington/GA1

Latest comment: 10 years ago by Matty.007 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk · contribs) 11:05, 31 March 2014 (UTC)Reply

Greetings. I shall be your reviewer. A review will be posted soon. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:05, 31 March 2014 (UTC)Reply

Thank you Hawkeye7. Matty.007 11:13, 31 March 2014 (UTC)Reply
  1. Let's start with the glaringly obvious. Her guide is Caroline Powell, not Catherine Powell. Change the first instance in the lead, link it, and remove the bold, and unlink the second instance.
    Fixed. Matty.007
  2. Put her full name and birth date in "Personal". The body and text should be able to stand separate.
    Sorry, forgot. Done. Matty.007
  3. Link Caroline Powell here too
    Done. Matty.007
  4. Since you mention that she was inspired by the 2012 Summer Olympics, you might also mention that She carried the Olympic torch through Lincoln as part of the torch relay for the 2012 Olympic Games in London from source 2
    Added. Thanks, Matty.007 09:45, 1 April 2014 (UTC)Reply
  5. She describes her sight as "very blurry with little focus" suggest vision instead of sight
    Done. Matty.007
  6. Can you incorporate this from source 6? Jade was born with glaucoma and the genetic eye condition Axenfeld syndrome, which she inherited from her mother Amber, who is blind. This information is in the categories but not the article.
    Axenfeld syndrome was already in 'Personal history', but I added glaucoma. Matty.007
  7. I'd include this as well: Andrew, then a London stockbroker, and Amber, who worked for Braintree District Council. They lived in The Causeway, Maldon, before moving to Lincolnshire, when Jade was seven. This information is also in the categories but not the article.
    Done. Matty.007
  8. Her original success at Europa cup and IPC alpine skiing events Can you spell out International Paralympic Committee (IPC) in full? Not everybody is familiar with the abbreviation.
    Done. Matty.007
  9. Molina should be La Molina in both the text and the info box.
    Changed. Matty.007
  10. Etherington and Powell began skiing together in August 2013,[10] and the pair qualified for the 2013 IPC Alpine Skiing World Championships in Molina, representing Great Britain. At Molina Etherington came fourth in the women's slalom and medaled in the women's Super-G, taking bronze.[1] Aaargh no. As detailed in Source 6, Jade skiied in LaMolina with John Clarke, Heather Mills's coach. La Molina was in March 2013. Jade started skiing with Powell in August 2013.
    Thanks for catching that, fixed. Matty.007
  11. despite rupturing her ovarian cyst Suggest "an ovarian cyst" Not everybody has one.
    Done. Matty.007
I took the liberty of cropping the pic.

Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:15, 31 March 2014 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for the review, attempted fix of all issues. Matty.007 09:45, 1 April 2014 (UTC)Reply

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:  
    Did some more copy editing
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section:  
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:  
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail: