Talk:Japanese aircraft carrier Hiyō/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ed! (talk · contribs) 17:57, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

• Two dab links to fix.
  • Done.
• "Her crew ranged from 1,187 to 1,224 officers and men." - what accounted for the difference in crewing? Did it need a smaller complement when there were fewer aircraft aboard?
  • My sources don't specify, but I'd expect that fewer aircraft aboard would mean a smaller crew
• Also, I've been criticized at reviews in the past for "officers and men" (It implies officers aren't men) and there are a few instances of that in this text.
  • As an ex-enlisted men, I could agree with that characterization, but I've changed it.
• "Her machinery, designed for merchant service, was over four times heavier that that of the Hiryū." - why is Hiryū the frame of reference here? Was it the heaviest carrier in the fleet, or the newest design to be compared to? Specify.
  • Hiryu is what my source used. Its machinery was purpose-built for lightness, not like the heavier commercial-grade machinery in these ships.
• Overlinking of Solomon Islands.
  • Fixed.
• Service history, 5th graph: "Hits in the starboard bow and boiler room knocked out all power, but she managed to return to Japan under her own power the following day" - this sentence sounds contradictory.
  • Clarified.
• 6th graph: "Hiyō returned to Japan on 1 January 1944 and her air group rejoined her on 2 March, albeit without aircraft." - this also sounds contradictory.
  • The unit was assigned to the ship, but lacked aircraft. Why? I don't know.
• Time elements should be 00:00 again. (and the local time zone might be helpful, too.)
  • Military time.
    • Colon added.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:46, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
• The Chesneau ref is unused in the text.
  • Moved to further reading.

Will check back soon. —Ed!^(talk) 17:57, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 21:31, 2 December 2011 (UTC)