Talk:Jean de Lattre de Tassigny/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Hawkeye7 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 14:53, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
Doing a bit of copy editing as a I go along, revert anything you don't like
- "He Commander-in-Chief of French Forces in Germany in 1945," - missing a word?
- First paragraph of WWI section - three sentences all start with "he", can this be varied?
- Re-worked it a bit. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- "and he was wounded in the knee by a bullet on 25 August 1925" - was this a battle wound? The knife-slashing incident doesn't seem to be
- Yes it was. Added a bit more more about this. As for the stabbing, the source says "by a fanatic" but I doubted that the Wikipedia would want him characterised that way. As an aside, de Lattre is a very popular biographical subject - in French. But few of them have been translated into English, and none of the recent works from the last ten years. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- "De Lattre received orders from Vichy that troops were to remain in their barracks, which he decided to disobey. Staff officers informed de Lattre's superior in Avignon of his intentions. The troops did not move, and the Vichy Minister of War, Eugène Bridoux, ordered de Lattre's arrest." - lead says "refused the orders not to fight the Germans and was the only active general to order his troops to oppose the invaders". Could it be a bit clearer in the main body that this disobeying of orders constituted orders for his men to oppose the Germans?
- Added a bit more about this. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- "He then went to see the Commander-in-Chief of the French forces in North Africa, Général d'Armée Henri Giraud" - maybe specify now that these were Allied French forces in Africa, when the previously discussed French units in Africa had been the collaborationist Vichy governments.
- Um, but they were those collaborationist Vichy units. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- " in the preparations of for Operation Anvil" - extra word?
- " but de Sudre's arrival sparked a popular uprising" - his surname only referred to as Sudre earlier. Is the "de" a title?
- No. Stray word. Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- "and the French logistical was stretched" - the use of "logistical" here seems off
- Added missing word. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- "Although the Americans envisaged a passive role for the First Army in view of its logistical difficulties, but de Lattre pressed for a more active role" - something is off here. Drop the "but"?
- Deleted "Although". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- "On the even of the resumption of his offensive in November" - is even suppose to be "eve", "evening", or something else?
- Deleted "n". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- "and was elevated to Inspector Gebnertal of the Armed Forces" - is Genbertal a typo or a French term
- Typo. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- I see "de lattre" is used a couple times, shouldn't it be "de Lattre"
- Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- " Monitor Polski 1947 no. 27 pos. 188" - needs publisher and any additional reference details
- Reformatted. Not entirely satisfactory, but this is Poland's version of the Commonwealth Gazette. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- Lead says he died of cancer, but this isn't specified in the body
- Ooops. Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)