Talk:Jeff Almon/GA1
Latest comment: 7 years ago by BU Rob13 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Bcschneider53 (talk · contribs) 23:44, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
These are short, sweet and simple so I figure I'll knock out a few more. This one's next. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 23:44, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
Lead
edit- Could be lengthened a bit; similar issue to past articles but one that is certainly amendable.
- Done Let me know if this is long enough. The only other thing I could really include is his later career, but he's not at all notable for that, so I hesitate to emphasize it in the lead. Don't want things to come off as promotional. ~ Rob13Talk 19:27, 18 June 2017 (UTC)
Early career
edit- "For his first two seasons and the first half of 1999, Almon played as a slotback for the Dinos. Halfway through the 1999 season, the Dinos coaching staff converted Almon to the position of fullback, which he went on to play for the rest of his career." I assume you have sources for these, but I think an IC after one or both of these sentences would be good.
- IC? You're giving me flashbacks. Done It was all cited to cite 2, which is a nice comprehensive bio piece. I've added an extra inline cite to that source to emphasize where the info is coming from. ~ Rob13Talk 19:30, 18 June 2017 (UTC)
Professional career
edit- "Mike Benevides, who later stated he made a favourable impression." An IC would make sense here as well.
- Done Similar to above. ~ Rob13Talk 19:31, 18 June 2017 (UTC)
- "who stated "He's represented his school very well and been a credit to himself." Put either a comma or colon when introducing the quote.
Personal life
edit- No issues, impressed that there's that much information on the guy!
Minor issues as usual. On hold. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 00:03, 13 June 2017 (UTC) @BU Rob13: Just making sure you know I got this review finished, maybe the bot didn't notify you for some reason? --Bcschneider53 (talk) 01:38, 15 June 2017 (UTC)
- @Bcschneider53: It did, thank you. I'm going to be a little delayed on this one. I'm moving this week and next, going on a few trips, and may even be testifying in front of a government agency. Basically, I'm Comey, but boring, heh. If you could give me some extra slack on the seven day period, I'd appreciate it. I will definitely get to this within two weeks, but right now, I'm mostly tied up with other things. ~ Rob13Talk 02:12, 15 June 2017 (UTC)
- @BU Rob13: Not a problem. Good luck with everything! --Bcschneider53 (talk) 02:16, 15 June 2017 (UTC)
- Well done. Pass for GA.
- @BU Rob13: Not a problem. Good luck with everything! --Bcschneider53 (talk) 02:16, 15 June 2017 (UTC)