Talk:Jimmy Carter/GA2
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 11:23, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
Nominator:ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk · contribs) at 19:34, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
I just saw Jimmy Carter listed as a Good article nominee awaiting review, and I knew I had to review this. This is a highly important article, and has the potential to be a GA. Considering the length of the article, my goal is to complete this review in the next 7-10 days. My general comments about the article would be divided by section, and other suggestions would be separated from the review. Feel free to let me know if you have any concerns. Thanks! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 11:23, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
Just a procedural note that the nominator is not a "significant contributor" to the article. The instructions say that "Nominators who are not significant contributors to the article should consult regular editors of the article on the article talk page prior to a nomination."
I don't see any note on the talk page, but anyways, the instructions also say that "Anyone may nominate an article". – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 11:23, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
GA criteria
editGA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
---|
|
Overall: |
· · · |
Section-wise comments
editOverall
edit- A major issue I see with the referencing is that various books which are used in the prose as references are used as short references, as well as using
{{cite book}}
template (Ex. Ref 212, Ref 381, etc.) Also, the books are mentioned in "Further reading" section (Ex. "Jimmy Carter: A Comprehensive Biography From Plains to Post-Presidency", "Zelizer, Julian (2010). Jimmy Carter, etc.). Works in the "Further reading" section should only consist of those which are not used as citations in the prose.- @ExcellentWheatFarmer – I should add that some citations like "Frum, p. 292" doesn't seem to refer to any book. Moreover, we should be using various more "reliable" scholarly studies, particularly in the presidency section. Various books in the "Further reading" section should be moved to "Primary sources", and should be incorporated in the prose. Various citations citing The American Presidency Project's interview transcripts are fine, but are not too good. Currently, this seems a major issue, particularly for an article of a living American president, attempting to be a GA. Hopefully you can fix that. Rest, progress seems fine. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 14:08, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah, I fully intend on doing that ASAP, I just wanna get all the prose and formatting issues out the way before I move onto that kind of change. – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 14:17, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
- Sure, I'll take at-least 2-3 more days to complete the prose review. We;ll still have images, sources, and other MOS things to check. We have a lot of books/scholarly research to consider, which could surely be done after fixing up the formatting issues. There's no time limit. Thanks for your co-operation so far. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 14:24, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah, I fully intend on doing that ASAP, I just wanna get all the prose and formatting issues out the way before I move onto that kind of change. – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 14:17, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
- @ExcellentWheatFarmer – I should add that some citations like "Frum, p. 292" doesn't seem to refer to any book. Moreover, we should be using various more "reliable" scholarly studies, particularly in the presidency section. Various books in the "Further reading" section should be moved to "Primary sources", and should be incorporated in the prose. Various citations citing The American Presidency Project's interview transcripts are fine, but are not too good. Currently, this seems a major issue, particularly for an article of a living American president, attempting to be a GA. Hopefully you can fix that. Rest, progress seems fine. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 14:08, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
- Various sources lack the url access date, or the publishing agency/news agency, etc.
- Please add ALT text for all the images.
- @ExcellentWheatFarmer – While reading the "Post-presidency (1981–present)", I realized that it would be better to re-write that section, as it has quite a few issues. The "Diplomacy" sub-section needs to be in chronological order. It first mentions about 1994, then skips back to 1984, the 2001, 1986, 2002... It also has various 1-2 line paragraphs. The "Criticism of American policy" sub-section should probably be re-named, something similar to "views on successors". The "Views on Trump administration" sub-section is quite long, maybe due to Recentism. Moreover, the entire Post presidency section is huge. I know that Carter's post presidency is the longest, but I'll suggest to largely summarize this section to make it more concise. I'll hold off the review of this particular section. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 13:07, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh – So, I just got started on this. I rearranged the prose to be as chronological as it possibly could, given the sheer volume of it present, but due to the disparity between both year and the country there's a lot of mini-paragraphs. Would you suggest merging some of them together, or would it be better to just straight up delete some of the less important stuff? – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 17:13, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
- @ExcellentWheatFarmer – Given the overall length of the article, I'd definitely suggest removing the less important or trivial information. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 17:20, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh – I've summarised the vast majority of useful information in the section, so it should be properly ready for review.
- Done, completed the prose review! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:18, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh – I've summarised the vast majority of useful information in the section, so it should be properly ready for review.
- @ExcellentWheatFarmer – Given the overall length of the article, I'd definitely suggest removing the less important or trivial information. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 17:20, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh – So, I just got started on this. I rearranged the prose to be as chronological as it possibly could, given the sheer volume of it present, but due to the disparity between both year and the country there's a lot of mini-paragraphs. Would you suggest merging some of them together, or would it be better to just straight up delete some of the less important stuff? – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 17:13, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
Early life
edit- Ref 3 – It doesn't seems to be reliable, as firstly it is likely a self published source. WP:SELFPUBLISH states
"Never use self-published sources as third-party sources about living people, even if the author is an expert, well-known professional researcher, or writer."
, and this is an article about a living person. Secondly, the website itself states"The following material on the first fourteen generations of the ancestry of John Kerry should not be considered either exhaustive or definitive, but rather as a first draft"
- Removed the erroneous source and the sentence connected to it.
"Carter's father was a"
→ "His father was a"- Done.
- Link U.S. Army
- Done
"during Carter Jr.'s infancy"
– I guess, writing him as "Jimmy" or just "Carter" would suffice.- Done.
"Carter got along well with his parents, although his mother worked long hours and was often absent in his childhood."
– How are the two parts related? Even if they are, rephrase to remove "although".- Rephrased it to "Carter got along well with both of his parents, despite his mother often being absent in his childhood due to working long hours."
"Although Earl was staunchly pro-segregation, he allowed his son to befriend the black farmhands' children."
– Presumably, "Earl" means Jimmy's father. If so, rephrase as "Although Carter's father was staunchly pro-segregation, he allowed him to befriend the black farmhands' children."- Done.
"He was the eldest son of Bessie Lillian (née Gordy) ..... cotton farmers in Georgia."
– uncited- Done.
- Education
"Carter attended Plains High School"
→ "Carter attended the Plains High School"- Done.
"and Earl took a position as a community leader."
Similar to previous point about "Earl"- Done.
"Plains High School basketball team; he also joined the Future Farmers of America and developed a lifelong interest in woodworking"
→ "Plains High School basketball team, and also joined a youth organization named the Future Farmers of America, which helped him develop a lifelong interest in woodworking"- Done.
- Fix the disambiguation link to New York in the sentence
"From 1946 to 1953, Carter and Rosalynn lived in Virginia, Hawaii, Connecticut, New York and .."
- Done.
Naval career
edit- All the text from
"Carter had long dreamed of attending .... was commissioned as an ensign."
should probably be merged to the "Education" subsection. What are your views?- I agree, it's more to do with education that his time in the Navy so it would fit a lot better there.
"Virginia, Hawaii, Connecticut, New York and California,"
– link the first instances of all the states" then led by Captain
– do you mean "led by then Captain"?- It was meant to be "led then by Captain"
"In 1952, Carter began an association with the Navy's fledgling nuclear submarine program, then led by Captain Hyman G. Rickover. Rickover's demands on his men and machines were legendary, and Carter later said that, next to his parents, Rickover was the greatest influence on his life."
– please see MOS:PEACOCK, and remove the peacock term. Also, rephrase the second part of the sentence as ", and Carter later said that, next to his parents, Rickover had the greatest influence on his life."- Rephrased to "Rickover had high standards and demands for his men and machines". Done.
- Link NRX, and add comma before resulting in "partial meltdown resulting"
- Done.
- Link Chalk River Laboratories
- Done.
"at Union College"
– add a definite article- Done.
- Possibly mention that his father died by pancreatic cancer.
- Done.
"Deciding to leave Schenectady proved difficult."
– Why was it difficult?- Done.
- Ref 21 is merely a link. Please format it as a citation
- Done.
Farming
edit- Probably link Agribusiness. It's not usual/everyday term...
" The transition from Navy to agribusinessman was difficult because his first-year harvest failed due to a drought; Carter was compelled to open several bank lines of credit to keep the farm afloat."
– split in two sentences, removing the semi colon.- No more issues here!
- Done.
Early political career (1963–1971)
edit- Georgia state senator (1963–1967)
- Be consistent in including the Publishing location for books.
"join them—but"
– Replace the dash with a comma.- Done.
"prominent member of the community and the Baptist Church"
– which community?- Done.
"The initial results showed Carter losing, but this was the result of fraudulent voting orchestrated by Joe Hurst, the Democratic Party chairman in Quitman County, with the aid of the Quitman County sheriff."
→ "Early counting of the ballots showed Carter trailing to <name of his opponent>, but this was the result of fraudulent voting orchestrated by Joe Hurst – chairman of the Democratic Party in Quitman County, with the aid of the Quitman County sheriff."- Done.
"Carter challenged the results; when fraud was confirmed, a new election was held, which he won."
→ "Carter challenged the election result, which was confirmed fraudulent in an investigation. Following this, another election was held, which was won by Carter." – Also add further details like his opponent, his margin of victory, and his political affiliation- Done.
"against a change to the Georgia Constitution"
– amendment?- Done.
"At the time of President Kennedy's assassination, Carter was informed by a customer of his peanut business of the killing, prompting Carter to remove himself from work and sit alone."
– rephrase and split into two sentences.- Done.
- Update the Ref 32 link to this url.
- Done.
- Maybe merge those three short paras (from
"Carter was a diligent legislator .... to he announced his run for Congress."
) to form a longer one.- Done.
"When Bo Callaway was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives in November 1964 ..."
→ "In November 1964, when Bo Callaway was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives, ..."- Done.
"alma mater, Georgia Southwestern College"
→ "alma mater – Georgia Southwestern College"- Done.
"For a time in the State Senate,"
→ "For some time in the State Senate,"- Done.
"The last day of the term"
→ "On the last day of the term"- Done.
- 1966 and 1970 campaigns for governor
" Callaway had just switched from the Democratic Party to the Republican Party in 1964"
– We already know that he had switched parties, as it is mentioned in the previous subsection.", and was a very strong candidate, despite being the first Republican to run for Governor of Georgia since 1876."
– Why was he a strong candidate? And why did no other Republican ran for the governor of Georgia since 1876.- Done.
"since Reconstruction."
– "since the reconstruction era."- Done,
"Carter decided to run for governor himself. In the Democratic primary he ran against the liberal former governor Ellis Arnall and the conservative segregationist Lester Maddox."
→ "Carter decided to run for the governor, and ran against liberal former governor Ellis Arnall and the conservative segregationist Lester Maddox in the Democratic primary."- Done.
" In a press conference he described"
– comma after conference- Done.
"Carter returned to his agriculture business and, during"
– "Carter returned to his agriculture business, and during"- Done.
" Inspired by his sister Ruth and liberal theologians"
– "Liberal" is linked, however it isn't its first instance in the prose."Carter leaned more conservative than before"
– same issue with "conservative" linked here.- Done.
"himself Born again"
– un-capitalize 'B'- Done.
"liberal former governor, Carl Sanders"
– Remove the comma- Done.
"49 to 38 percent"
– 49 percent to 38 percent- Done.
Governor of Georgia (1971–1975)
edit"He declared in his inaugural speech that"
→ "In his inaugural speech, he declared that"- Done.
- Ref#43 – It lacks Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and Museum as the website name. Check the same for other sources.
- Done.
"became lieutenant governor"
→ "was elected as the lieutenant governor"- Done.
"Richard Russell Jr., then President pro tempore of the United States Senate, died in office during Carter's second week in office; the newly inaugurated governor appointed David H. Gambrell, state Democratic Party chair, to fill Russell's unexpired term in the Senate a week after Russell's death on February 1."
– (a) Mention that Richard Russell was a senator from Georgia (b) un-capitalize 'P' in 'President pro tempore' (c) Split into two sentences (d) Replace "the newly inaugurated governor" with "Carter"- Done.
"Carter was reluctant to engage in back-slapping and political favors, and the legislature found him frustrating to work with"
– needs to be rephrased to avoid that awkward comma before another 'and'- Done.
"Therefore, he negotiated"
– Remove 'Therefore'- Done.
"Judicial Selection Commission"
– un-capitalize all"The reorganization plan was submitted in January 1972, but had a cool reception in the legislature. But after two weeks of negotiations, it was passed at midnight on the last day of the session."
→ "The reorganization plan was submitted in January 1972, initially having a cool reception in the legislature. But after two weeks of negotiations, the bill was passed at midnight on last day of the session."- Done.
"Ultimately he"
→ "Ultimately, Carter"- Done.
- Ref#53 – URL access date missing
- Done.
"In an April 3, 1971, televised appearance, Carter was asked if he was in favor of a requirement that candidates for Governor and Lieutenant Governor of Georgia would have to run on the same ticket. He replied, "I've never really thought we needed a lieutenant governor in Georgia. The lieutenant governor is part of the executive branch of government and I've always felt—ever since I was in the state Senate—that the executive branches should be separate.""
"In a televised appearance in April, 1971, when asked if he was in favor of candidates for governor and lieutenant governor of Georgia running on the same ticket, Carter replied "I've never really thought we needed a lieutenant governor in Georgia. The lieutenant governor is part of the executive branch of government and I've always felt—ever since I was in the state Senate—that the executive branches should be separate.""- Done.
- Ref#55 – It links to the main page of the newspapers. Google news citations should link to particular news articles. Same with Ref#56
- Unsure on how to do this. Would you just substitute the printsec=frontpage part with printsec=secondpage and so on?
- For linking a particular news article on Google news, click on the "Link to article" option on the right side.
- Unsure on how to do this. Would you just substitute the printsec=frontpage part with printsec=secondpage and so on?
"In a July 13, 1971, news conference,"
→ "In a news conference on July 13, 1971," – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:18, 1 September 2021 (UTC)- Done,
"Carter requested the state legislature provide funding for an Early Childhood Development Program"
→ "Carter requested the state legislature to provide funding for an early childhood development program"- Done.
"48 million in pay"
– Use Template:Inflation, and write it as "48 million (equivalent to $349,632,458 in 2023) in pay"- Done.
"Latin and South America"
– Link both- Done.
"Carter stated that he had met with President of Brazil Emílio Garrastazu Médici and had been compared by some to the late President Kennedy."
– Per MOS:JOBTITLE, change"met with President of Brazil Emílio Garrastazu Médici"
to "met with Emílio Garrastazu Médici, the president of Brazil". Check the citation, and explain who was compared with JFK?- Did the first part, but I can't see anything in the citation about him being compared to JFK — mainly due to how small and grainy everything is. I can look for something on it elsewhere or just remove it entirely?
- Link Rita Jackson Samuels
- Done.
"with Governor of Florida Reubin Askew"
– Apply MOS:JOBTITLE and rephrase as either "Reubin Askew, the governor of Florida" or "Governor Reubin Askew of Florida"- Done.
"Carter stated he favored"
→ "Carter stated that he favored"- Done.
- Ref#67 needs a page count.
- Done.
- Put Ref#68 at the end of the sentence.
- Done.
- National ambition
"Senator Henry "Scoop" Jackson"
– Just Henry M. Jackson would work- Done.
"the 1972 Democratic ticket"
why is "1972 Democratic ticket" linked to 1972 United States presidential election? Probably link it here, or better leave it unlinked.- Done.
"On David Rockefeller's endorsement he was named "
– comma after 'endorsement'- Done.
"The following year he was"
– comma after 'year'- Done.
"gubernatorial, campaigns"
– remove the commas- Done.
@ExcellentWheatFarmer – That brings me to his presidential campaign and presidency. Just to inform you, I wrote the article "Jimmy Carter 1976 presidential campaign" a few months ago. The review till 1974 is complete. Any suggestions for me? – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 09:00, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nope, you've done a great job here so far. Thanks for being so attentive to the review. I hope I've been just as satisfactory, given that I wasn't a significant contributor to the article prior to the review. – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 10:57, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Overall, all your changes look good! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:18, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
Continuing.
1976 presidential campaign
edit"for President of the United States on "
– no need to capitalize the office- Done.
- Change the link in Ref#77 to this for highlighting the particular news article.
- Done.
- When mentioning about "name recognition", it should be mentioned that Carter's opponents mocked his candidacy by saying "Jimmy, who?", for him being relatively unknown outside Georgia. Source In response, Carter began saying "My name is Jimmy Carter, and I'm running for president." Source There's even a campaign button with the popular quote written. See if you can incorporate all this somewhere.
- Done.
"However, "by mid-March 1976 Carter was not only far ahead of the active contenders for the Democratic presidential nomination, he also led President Ford by a few percentage points," according to Shoup"
– Perhaps, the sentence should begin with 'According to Shoup'. And we never had introduction to this individual (Shoup), and we don't know why his opinion matters?- Removed the quotation marks and mention of Shoup - he's referred to later in the article.
"Carter published Why Not the Best? in June 1976 to help introduce himself to the American public"
→ "Carter published a book/memoir/autobiography/etc. titled Why Not the Best? in June 1976 to help introduce himself to the American public"- Done.
- Ref#81 doesn't cite the whole para. We need some other citations there.
"He used a two-prong strategy: in the South, which most had tacitly conceded to Alabama's George Wallace, Carter ran as a moderate favorite son."
– Firstly, most readers wouldn't already be familiar with 'two-prong strategy' or 'favorite son'. Secondly, we need to mention that Wallace was a candidate, before saying that Carter competed him. Probably mention that excluding Carter, there were 16 major candidates for Democratic nomination. Source- Done.
" by building the largest single bloc."
– Not sure what it means.- Replaced bloc with "support base", which I'm assuming is what was intended.
"The national news media discovered and promoted Carter, as Lawrence Shoup noted in his 1980 book The Carter Presidency and Beyond:"
– He should be introduced in his first instance. Also, the sentence should be rephrased, and "As Lawrence Shoup noted in his 1980 book The Carter Presidency and Beyond" should come first.- Done.
- The quote
"What Carter had ........... in the short space of 9 months.
should be under quotes (" ")- Done.
"During his presidential campaign in April 1976, Carter responded to an interviewer and said, "I have nothing against a community that is ... trying to maintain the ethnic purity of their neighborhoods.""
→ "During an interview in April 1976, Carter said, "I have nothing against a community that is ... trying to maintain the ethnic purity of their neighborhoods.""- Done.
"Minnesota Senator Walter F. Mondale "
– Implement MOS:JOBTITLE- Done.
"He attacked Washington in his speeches"
– Of course he didn't directly attacked Washington, D.C. in his speeches, but criticized the politicians closely related to Washington, D.C. Better to say, he benefited from being a "Washington, D.C. outsider"- Done.
"Carter and Gerald Ford faced off"
– I guess, it was not mentioned before who Ford was? Mention that he was the incumbent Republican president seeking re-election.- Already stated in the previous paragraphs.
- Link presidential debates
- Done.
"Carter won the popular vote ...... non-incumbent since Dwight Eisenhower."
– Currently uncited, but it wouldn't be difficult to fine a relaible source.- The percentage of the popular vote seems to be in the the Toledo Blade newspaper sourced earlier in the paragraph. Would it be acceptable to move it forward?
- Fine, but
"yet Carter won with the largest percentage of the popular vote (50.1 percent) of any non-incumbent since Dwight Eisenhower."
– needs a source
That brings me to President Jimmy Carter.
- Starting with President Jimmy Carter – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 10:57, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
Presidency (1977–1981)
edit- Some minor issues about the structure need to be addressed.
- Firstly, the "Transition" is more sort of part of his 1976 presidential campaign than his presidency. Move the entire "Transition" subsection to his presidential campaign. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 10:57, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
- Done.
- Secondly, the first two paragraphs in the Presidency section (
"Carter's tenure was a ...... losing the 1980 election to Ronald Reagan"
) are possibly summary of his entire presidency. If that's the case, we should add more details about his inauguration and his policies. I'll suggest to add details about his inauguration in the first paragraph, and keep everything else in the second one.- Half-done? I added the date of the inauguration and split it into three paragraphs. Could still probably add in some more detail later.
- Firstly, the "Transition" is more sort of part of his 1976 presidential campaign than his presidency. Move the entire "Transition" subsection to his presidential campaign. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 10:57, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
"Carter signed Law H.R. 5860 aka Public Law 96-185 known as"
– I don't feel the need of adding any external in between the text.- Done.
- Transition
"to Washington"
"to Washington, D.C."- Done.
- Be consistent with "Toledo Blade" or "The Blade (Toledo)"
- Done.
- Merge those 1 lined paragraphs.
- Done.
- Overall, this section is well cited.
- Domestic policy
- U.S. energy crisis
"the moral equivalent of war."
moral equivalent of war is linked to a redirect page.- Done.
"At the start of a September 29, 1977, news conference"
→ "At the start of news conference on September 29, 1977,..."- Done,
"had "been long and divisive and arduous" as well as"
→ "had been "long and divisive and arduous" as well as" (Better)- Done.
- How is File:Carter DengXiaoping (cropped).jpg related to the "energy crisis" section?
- Removed.
- EPA Love Canal Superfund
- Use citation templates like
{{cite web}}
for Ref#135 and 136.- Done.
- Relations with Congress
"Carter noted the liberal wing of the Democratic Party was the most ardently against his policies, attributing this to Ted Kennedy's wanting the presidency"
→ "Carter noted that the liberal wing of the Democratic Party was most ardently against his policies, attributing this to Ted Kennedy's wanting the presidency" And by "Ted Kennedy's wanting the presidency", was he referring to Ted Kennedy 1980 presidential campaign?- Presumably, yes. Changed it to that.
"once more, Speaker of the House of Representatives Tip O'Neill "
– Implement MOS:JOBTITLE and add 'with' before 'Speaker'- Done.
"many of the "hit list" projects"
– hit list??- Reworded.
"In a June 23, 1977 address to a fundraising dinner for the Democratic National Committee, "
→ "In an address to a fundraising dinner for the Democratic National Committee on June 23, 1977,"- Done.
" individual Members of Congress"
– uncapitalize- Done.
- We need to have some more citations from reliable sources, including various expert studies about his presidency. For instance, Ref#147 doesn't cite the entire half paragraph.
- Added another reliable source for that section. Will try and add more to the section as a whole later.
"by House Republicans who "
– comma after Republicans- Done.
"At the start of a July 25, 1979, news conference,"
– news conference should be before mentioning the date- Done.
- Economy
- What book/journal does Ref#152 seem to refer?
- Replaced all the Frum refs with a bourne one, since it's unclear as to who Frum is in the first place.
- Ref#154 doesn't directly cite
"creation of millions of new jobs"
- Ref#155 lacks source date "SEPTEMBER 26, 2019", and doesn't seem to cite
"real median household income growth by 5%"
- Both the above references link to a page that doesn't seem to cite either of them. Trying to find a proper academic source for it.
- Removed the sentence about millions of jobs (I looked through almost all the sources and couldn't find anything) and found something for median household growth.
- Both the above references link to a page that doesn't seem to cite either of them. Trying to find a proper academic source for it.
" Federal Reserve Board Chairman G. William Miller"
– Implement MOS:JOBTITLE- Done.
- For this image (File:Bill Clinton 1978.jpg), mention in the caption that Clinton later became the president.
- Done.
- Deregulation
"In 1977, Carter appointed Alfred E. Kahn to lead the Civil Aeronautics Board (CAB). "
– Link Civil Aeronautics Board, and remove it from "See also" template.- Done.
'think tanks'
– Single quotes......?- Done.
- Ref#159 and Ref#160 possibly needs a page number
" The Act did not remove or diminish the FAA's regulatory powers"
– Possibly this is first instance of FAA. Mention it as Federal Aviation Administration- Done.
"of Prohibition in the United States"
– un-capitalize 'P'- Done,
"This Carter deregulation"
– Remove "Carter"- Done.
- Healthcare
"and Medicare and Medicaid being"
– uncapitalize- Done.
"President Harry Truman"
– Harry S. Truman- Done.
"and later defeated in the House"
– Perhaps, "but later defeated in the House"- Done.
"During 1978"
– "in 1978"- Done.
- Ref#171 – Inconsistent with rest of the article. Cite as a short footnote.
- Done.
- Education
"with Congress"
→ "with the congress"- Done.
"In a February 28, 1978, address at the White House, Carter argued"
→ "In an address from the White House on February 28, 1978, Carter argued"- Done.
""Education is far too important a ......"
– un-capitalize 'E' in 'Education', even if it is under direct quotation- Done.
"various Government departments"
– un-capitalize 'G'- Done.
"On October 17, 1979, "
– No need to repeat the year. Just mention it as "On October 17 the same year,"- Done.
- Check formatting of Ref#177
- Done.
- Link presidency of Lyndon B. Johnson
- Done.
"In a November 1, 1980, speech, "
→ "In a speech on November 1, 1980, "- Done.
- If
"Senator Bentsen"
refers to Lloyd Bentsen, link it. Same for Kika de la Garza- Done.
"in Federal money"
– un-capitalize 'F'- Done.
- Foreign policy
- Israel and Egypt
- Please expand this section, consisting of only a quote. And not sure how the image with Argentina president is relevant here?
- Expanded it with a condensed version of Foreign policy of the Jimmy Carter administration#Camp David Accords. As for the picture, it was under the ===Foreign Policy=== subheading, so it was probably meant to represent the section as a whole. I replaced it with a picture of the three leaders involved in the Camp David accords.
- Africa
"In an October 4, 1977 address to African officials at the United Nations"
→ "In an address to the African officials at the United Nations on October 4, 1977,"- Done.
"At a news conference later that month, Carter outlined the U.S. wanting "to work harmoniously with ...."
– Needs to be rephrased.- Done.
" Margaret Thatcher as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom"
– Implement MOS:JOBTITLE- Done.
" Prime Minister of Zimbabwe Rhodesia"
– un-capitalize PM- Done.
- The sentence
"The elections of ..... toward South Africa.
seems to be incomplete.- Done.
"Secretary of State Vance"
– Never mentioned before, link him- Done.
- The two quotes in this section are from The New York Times. Rather than directly quoting, it would be better to summarize it without quotes.
- Done.
For further sections, I suggest to merge "Iran" with "Iran hostage crisis", and add some more details there, as Hostage crisis was an important part in his presidency. Will continue – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 10:16, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
- Indonesia and East Timor
- Can we have some expansion in prose here.
- For this section, would it be a good idea to merge it with the South Korea section and making a general East Asia section? That way it could streamline the article and fit more information, ie, what Carter did with rapprochement with the PRC
- Seems fine to me, but keep different county in different paragraph. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:29, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
- For this section, would it be a good idea to merge it with the South Korea section and making a general East Asia section? That way it could streamline the article and fit more information, ie, what Carter did with rapprochement with the PRC
"the United States"
– the article mostly uses "the U.S.", so it would be better to replace it with "the U.S." for consistency.- Done
" as a cold war ally in spite of"
– comma after ally- Done.
- Link East Timor at its first instance.
- Done.
- Iran + Iran hostage crisis
- Suggesting to merge these both sections, with the subheading as "Iran hostage crisis"
- Done.
- Ref#195 – Lowercase the title, same with Ref#207
- Done.
- Ref#196 – Seems un-reliable
- Replaced it with a reliable source.
" Ronald Reagan succeeded Carter as President"
– lowercase 'P'- Done.
- Soviet Union
"extended period of time" and that "
– comma before "and"- Done.
"During a June 13 conference"
→ "During a press/news conference on June 13, ..."- Done.
"the U.S. would "beginning this week"
– seems odd to me, especially as the quote begins with "beginning"- Done.
"atmosphere" and Paul Warnke"
– comma before 'and'- Done.
- Link Indian Ocean
- Doen.
"Carter said throughout"
→ "Carter said that throughout"- Done.
"In the 1980 State of the Union Address, Carter .."
→ "In his 1980 State of the Union address, Carter"- Done.
"last 3 1/2 decades"
– 3½ decades- Done.
- Soviet invasion of Afghanistan
", although that was not the case"
– seems odd- Done.
" For example, U.S. intelligence closely"
– Remove 'for example'- Done.
"execution of Ali Bhutto "
– Zulfikar Ali Bhutto- Done.
" In a televised speech"
– add date- Done.
- Overall, this section is well cited.
- Done.
- South Korea
"During a March 9, 1977 news conference,"
→ "During a news conference on March 9, 1977, "- Done.
"stated he wanted"
→ "stated that he wanted"- Done.
"South Korean Government"
– lowercase 'G'- Done.
- Ref#226 – lowercase the title
- Done.
"On May 26, during a news conference"
– same as the first point in this subsection- Done.
" said he believed South"
→ " said he believed that South"- Done.
" President of South Korea Park Chung-hee"
– implement MOS:JOBTITLE- Done.
- International trips
- Ref#231 doesn't cite the entire paragraph, and seems less relaible.
- Added another citation.
- Allegations and investigations
"The September 21, 1977 resignation"
– comma after '1977'- Done.
"Director of the Office of Management and Budget"
– lowercase- Done.
"Carter became the first sitting president to testify under oath as part of an investigation into that president"
– Needs a grammatical tweak. Also, the source does support this, but I'm just curious that didn't Gerald Ford testified before the House Judiciary Subcommittee hearing on his pardon of Richard Nixon see this?- I think it meant the first sitting president to take part in an investigation towards HIMSELF, rather than against another one (as was the case with Ford and Nixon).
- I see... – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:18, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- I think it meant the first sitting president to take part in an investigation towards HIMSELF, rather than against another one (as was the case with Ford and Nixon).
- Ref#235 has odd formatting with quotes
- Turned it into a note.
- 1980 presidential campaign
"Carter later wrote"
seems odd to start a new subtopic. Can we have some introduction on Carter's 1980 campaign.- Added a paragraph before the Kennedy one.
"during the Democratic presidential primary"
– link to 1980 Democratic Party presidential primaries- Done.
"Kennedy surprised his supporters by running a weak campaign"
– if this would be mentioned, also mention that Kennedy's 12 victories included some crucial states like Massachusetts, New York and California.- Done.
"in New York City"
– "the New York City"- Done.
- Ref#244 – add URL access date
- Done.
"campaign for re-election "
– better leave it unlinked, or red linked to Jimmy Carter 1980 presidential campaign- Done.
"was one of the most difficult and least successful in history."
– un-sourced, and quite controversial statement.- Removed.
"in the Third World "
– Most readers wouldn't know "Third World"- Replaced with "less developed countries"
- Ref#245 doesn't cite the entire half paragraph
- Done.
"On October 28, Carter and Reagan participated in the sole presidential debate of the election cycle"
– No. Reagan debated Anderson without Carter as Carter refused to participate if Anderson was included. Anderson notably said during the debate "Governor Reagan is not responsible for what has happened over the last four years, nor am I. The man who should be here tonight to respond to those charges chose not to attend"- Corrected.
"Carter was defeated by Ronald Reagan"
→ "Reagan defeated Carter"- Done.
- As a major contributor to the article "Ronald Reagan 1980 presidential campaign", I suggest to include these few important points.
- Edward M. Kennedy's "The Dream Shall Never Die" speech, endorsing Carter at the DNC
- John Anderson's candidacy
- The Carter campaign attempted to deny the Reagan campaign $29.4 million campaign funds. Source
- Billy Carter being investigated for received funds from Libya. Source
- Carter refusing to debate if Anderson was included
- There you go again – Reagan's famous debate moment, which emerged as the defining moment of the 1980 election.
- Debategate – In the final days of the 1980 campaign, Reagan's team had somehow acquired President Carter's briefing papers, classified top secret, that Carter used in preparation for his debate with Reagan. Source
- Added all of these somewhere in the paragraph.
That brings me to former president Jimmy Carter. Seeing the overall length of the article, I suggest to summarize "Diplomacy" and "Views on Trump administration" sub-sections. However, the overall length can be justified by the length of Carter's career. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:16, 5 September 2021 (UTC)
Post-presidency (1981–present)
edit- The Carter Center
- I'll suggest to merge this section with "Other activities" section. Just consisting of 1-2 lined paragraph.
- Done.
Continuing – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 09:00, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Diplomacy
"Prime Minister of Israel Menachem Begin"
→ "prime minister of Israel Menachem Begin""Carter negotiated an understanding with Kim Il-sung, with whom he went on to outline a treaty that he announced to CNN without the consent of the Clinton administration to spur American action.
– 'with' is repetitive. Link Clinton administration- Ref#266, Ref#267, Ref#268 and Ref#278 need URL access date. Ref#264 and Ref#269 need ISBN number
- Link Jeffrey Brown (journalist)
"Carter traveled to North Korea to secure the release of Aijalon Gomes in August 2010,"
→ "In August 2010, Carter traveled to North Korea to secure the release of Aijalon Gomes,"- Ref#283 needs URL access date.
- Rest seems fine here. Good work on re-arranging and summarizing the prose. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 09:00, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- All done. And thanks!
- Views on successive presidents
"the new Reagan administration"
→ "the Reagan administration""he condemned"
→ "condemned ""Carter received a phone call from Trump in which Trump "
– 'Trump' is repetitive""the most warlike nation in thr history of the world.""
– typo- It seems like we missed Carter's views on presidencies of George H. W. Bush and Bill Clinton.
- All done.
- Presidential politics
"1984 presidential election"
– pipe 'presidential election' in the link"In the 1988 presidential election cycle,"
– remove'cycle'"In the 2004 election cycle"
– same as above" 2012 election cycle"
– same"criticized Ross Perot"
– mention that Perot was a Texas billionaire businessman running for president as an independent candidate."John McCain"
– mention that he was the Republican nominee."Leading up to the general election, Carter criticized John McCain, who responded to Carter's comments, and warned Obama against selecting Clinton as his running mate.""
– Split the sentence." In October 2017, however ...... certainly that I've known about."
– move to Views on successive presidents section""Having observed"
– lowercase 'H'- All done.
- Hurricane relief
" the Bush administration's"
– Which one? George W. Bush or George H. W. Bush- Split the para into two sentences.
- All done.
- Other activities
"Carter founded The Carter Center""
– un-capitalize and remove 'The' from the link.- Overall, few citations lack URL access date.
- All done!
Political positions
edit- All the subheadings likely can be merged, and summarized by removing un-necessary direct quotations. This section would look much better if formatted as Joe Biden#Political positions
- Done.
- Other comments
""personally opposed""
– remove the quotation marks.- Done.
- Check the formatting of Ref#398. Also, convert the "Bourne" book to short citation, including the page number.
- Done.
- Ref#399 lacks page number
- Done.
"Governor of New Mexico, Bill Richardson"
– Implement MOS:JOBTITLE- Done.
" in the LA Times"
– The Los Angeles Times- Done.
"He opened the article: "The process for administering the death penalty in the United States is broken beyond repair, and it is time to choose a more effective and moral alternative. California voters will have the opportunity to do this on election day.""
– seems trivial information- Removed.
"Carter has also called for commutations of death sentences"
– Link Commutation (law)- Done.
"Brian K. Baldwin (executed in 1999 in Alabama), Kenneth Foster (sentence in Texas commuted in 2007) and Troy Davis (executed in Georgia in 2011)."
– Mentioning states important?- Removed.
"What led Carter to take this action was a doctrinal statement by the Convention, adopted in June 2000, advocating a literal interpretation of the Bible"
– needs to be rephrased- Done.
- Ref#416 and Ref#417 same?
- Removed extra ref.
- Ref#422 – Better source available?
- Done.
"(the major health care reform law championed by President Obama)"
– championed is Point of view- Done.
Ministry
edit"At the age of 18, he became deacon and teaches Sunday school at Maranatha Baptist Church in Plains, Georgia"
→ "In 1942, at the age of 18, Carter became a deacon and teaches Sunday school at Maranatha Baptist Church in Plains, Georgia""In 2007, with Bill Clinton, he founded the New Baptist Covenant organization for social justice."
→ In 2007, together with former president Clinton, he founded the New Baptist Covenant organization for social justice.- Done both – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 06:48, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
Personal life
edit- Ref#430 needs "Nov. 30, 2012" as date
- Done.
- Ref#431 – probably needs to be replaced.
- Done.
"this was an idea that came to fruition in 1982."
→ "this later came to fruition in 1982."- Done.
"Carter later recalled an abrupt phone call received in June 1977 from Presley who sought a presidential pardon from Carter, in order to help George Klein's criminal case; at the time Klein had been indicted for only fraud."
– The second part about Klein's criminal case needs some explanation.- Done.
- Religion
"the subject's "prayer partner""
"Carter's "prayer partner""?- Removed.
- Family
- ISBN number for Ref#432
- Done.
"The Carters celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary in July 2016, and celebrated their 75th anniversary on July 7, 2021."
– Remove the mention of 70th anniversary- Done.
"As of October 18, 2019, they are the longest-wed presidential couple,"
– Update the date, preferably using Template:FULLDATE.- Replaced with "On October 19, 2019, they became the longest-wed presidential couple, having overtaken George and Barbara Bush at 26,765 days."
"having overtaken George and Barbara Bush at 26,765 days."
– '26,765 days' require citation- Done,
"2006 Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate in Nevada"
– pipe 'in Nevada' in the link- Done.
" Republican incumbent, John Ensign"
– Remove the comma- Done.
"is a former Georgia State Senator and in 2014"
– comma after 'Senator', and implement MOS:JOBTITLE- Done.
"Republican incumbent, Nathan Deal"
– Remove the comma- Done.
Health and longevity
edit- Health problems
"Carter underwent elective surgery"
– an elective surgery; and link Elective surgery- Done.
""a small mass""
– Remove the quotes- Done.
" "excellent""
– same as above- Done.
"The former president"
– Replace with 'Carter'- Done.
- Ref#452 and Ref#453 are bare links.
- Filled.
- Longevity
"Carter, the earliest-serving living former president since the death of Gerald Ford in 2006, became the oldest to ever attend a presidential inauguration, in 2017 at age 92, and the first to live to the 40th anniversary of his own"
→ "Carter is the earliest-serving living former president since the death of Gerald Ford in 2006. He became the oldest president ever attend a presidential inauguration in 2017, at the age of 92, and the first to live to the 40th anniversary of his own"- Done.
- Funeral and burial plans
- Merge this section with the longevity section
- Done.
"Carter noted"
→ "He noted"- Done.
"The Carter Center"
→ "the Carter Center"- Done.
Public image and legacy
edit- Public opinion
"still held Gerald Ford's pardon"
– replace 'Gerald Ford' with just 'Ford'- Done.
"Southerner"
– lowercase- Done.
"In the 1980 campaign"
→ "During the 1980 presidential campaign"- Done.
"Carter's personal attention to detail, his pessimistic attitude, his seeming indecisiveness and weakness with people were accentuated in contrast to what many saw as Reagan's charismatic charm and delegation of tasks to subordinates"
– Point of view. Can we make it more neutral?- Attempted to reword it for neutrality. Thoughts?
- Definitely better – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:18, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Attempted to reword it for neutrality. Thoughts?
"Reagan used ..... reelection bid"
– doesn't belong to the "public opinion" section- Where would you advise putting it? Would it fit better in the 1980 campaign section or should it just get cut entirely?
- The 1980 campaign section seems comprehensive enough, and I don't think that we need more there. I'd remove it. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:18, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Where would you advise putting it? Would it fit better in the 1980 campaign section or should it just get cut entirely?
- Legacy
- Better merge it with the "Public opinion" section
"Carter's presidency was initially viewed by some as a failure"
– 'by some', by whom? historians, media, politicians?- Added the author mentioned in the source.
"In historical rankings"
"In the historical rankings"- Done.
"the Carter presidency"
– Carter's presidency- Done.
- Move Ref#474 at the end of the sentence.
- Done.
- In popular culture
"referencing Jimmy Carter,"
– remove his first name- Done.
- Honors and awards
" His presidential library, Jimmy Carter Library and Museum was opened in 1986."
– Rephrase as " The Jimmy Carter Library and Museum was opened in 1986."- Done.
Other suggestions
editImage review
edit- File:President-Elect Jimmy Carter with U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld During a Visit to The Pentagon.jpg – I doubt it's licence. It has been taken from a twitter account, which doesn't make it CC 4.0
- File:President Jimmy Carter and Chairman of The Joint Chiefs of Staff General George S. Brown while touring Strategic Air Command's Headquarters.jpg – It is uploaded from a book, which doesn't make it CC 4.0
- File:Carter Reagan Debate 10-28-80.png – The source doesn't mention the copyright information. And regardless, I'll suggest to replace it with File:President Jimmy Carter at a rally in Granite City, Illinois.jpg, as the debate file has low resolution.
- A few images lack ALT text.
- All other images from his presidency are assumed to be in public domain as it is a work prepared by an officer or employee of the United States government /executive office of the United States president as part of that person’s official duties. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 11:26, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
- Removed all the violating images, and replaced the suggested one. Added alt text - this is the first article where I've actually added it to, so if the descriptions aren't satisfactory let me know. – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 19:25, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
- The ALT text were fine and I did few, minor edits. The image licencing now looks fine. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:18, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Removed all the violating images, and replaced the suggested one. Added alt text - this is the first article where I've actually added it to, so if the descriptions aren't satisfactory let me know. – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 19:25, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
References
edit- @ExcellentWheatFarmer – The prose review is now complete. After making the necessary changes, I think that we can now proceed fixing the formatting and reliability of the sources. I fixed quite a few duplicate links, but do check for others. After all that is done, I'll review the lead section. Thanks for your co-operation with the review. The article has definitely been improved in past few days. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:18, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Gotcha! I'll finish up the last of the prose review’s changes and then I'll get onto rearranging the sources. FYI I'll be modelling the formatting of the references after Ronald Reagan's page - that being, Citations (for the citations themselves), General Sources (the books used as sources through the article) and Further Reading (the actual Further Reading). – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 16:32, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Seems completely fine to me. Just be sure to convert the inline citations from books which are used in the current 'Further reading' section to short citations for maintaining consistency. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:41, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh – The split's been done. Over the next day or so I should be able to go through the article and pick out any remains citation errors + hopefully fix them. – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 23:07, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Seems completely fine to me. Just be sure to convert the inline citations from books which are used in the current 'Further reading' section to short citations for maintaining consistency. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:41, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Gotcha! I'll finish up the last of the prose review’s changes and then I'll get onto rearranging the sources. FYI I'll be modelling the formatting of the references after Ronald Reagan's page - that being, Citations (for the citations themselves), General Sources (the books used as sources through the article) and Further Reading (the actual Further Reading). – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 16:32, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- @ExcellentWheatFarmer – My other concern would be:
- Maintain consistency whether to link the source publisher/newspaper/agency/etc. or not. Currently, some are linked, while others are not.
- Unlinked all of the publishers.
- Looks good.
- Unlinked all of the publishers.
- Archive all citations using this tool. (Add archives to all non-dead references)
- Tried doing this, but it said that the page was too big. Maybe once the sections mentioned in the following suggestion have been cut down I can try again?
- No issues, consider this point just as a suggestion. It isn't part of the GA criteria. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 09:10, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
- Tried doing this, but it said that the page was too big. Maybe once the sections mentioned in the following suggestion have been cut down I can try again?
- The article is definitely comprehensive, but we could really make it more concise. I'd suggest to further summarize "Early political career (1963–1971)", "Governor of Georgia (1971–1975)" and "Soviet invasion of Afghanistan" sections. The article is currently at 94142 characters. Remove anything you find trivial or un-necessary.
- Ping me after sorting out the citation reliability and formatting issue for another look. Feel free to tell me any issues you face with the citations. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:24, 9 September 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh I've trimmed the aforementioned sections as much as I think possible without getting rid of the important stuff. By the way, looking at the GA review template at the top, the article is marked as having failed in terms of being focused. Is there anything specific that article's lacking? Thanks! – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 21:58, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
- @ExcellentWheatFarmer – At around 86,500 characters, the article now seems to be focused on the main topic, thus passes in terms of being focused. Would give it a final read in the next few hours before listing any final issues or passing. Any further comments for me? – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 02:57, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh – Nope! You've been stellar throughout this review process, and I'm glad to have worked on the article with you. – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 06:23, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
- @ExcellentWheatFarmer – At around 86,500 characters, the article now seems to be focused on the main topic, thus passes in terms of being focused. Would give it a final read in the next few hours before listing any final issues or passing. Any further comments for me? – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 02:57, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh I've trimmed the aforementioned sections as much as I think possible without getting rid of the important stuff. By the way, looking at the GA review template at the top, the article is marked as having failed in terms of being focused. Is there anything specific that article's lacking? Thanks! – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 21:58, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
- Maintain consistency whether to link the source publisher/newspaper/agency/etc. or not. Currently, some are linked, while others are not.
Response to changes
edit- It has been a long review, and the article has greatly improved from its initial version to this version. ExcellentWheatFarmer has done a great job fixing up the issues with the article, and I now feel that the article meets the GA criteria. The prose is reasonably easy to understand, all major aspects are covered and citations look satisfactory. The article is neutral, and all images are fine to use. The article is long, but it can be justifies by length of his career (longest post-presidency of any American president). I am passing the nomination. It has been a pleasure working on this article. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:27, 11 September 2021 (UTC)