Talk:Job Fair (The Office)/GA1

Latest comment: 16 years ago by Mr.crabby in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
  • "Plot synopsis" → "Plot"
  • Expand the second paragraph in the lead.
  • Only periodicals need to be italicized in the references, not all publishers.
  • References need to be consistent; some have comma or period before "Retrieved". I suggest using {{cite web}} for all.

Gary King (talk) 21:31, 26 June 2008 (UTC)Reply

Made the changes, tell me what you think. --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 22:17, 26 June 2008 (UTC)Reply

The prose needs some work. Some examples below (these are only examples; please take a look at the entire article's contents):

  • "Office—the" → "Office, and the"
  • "few employees goes to an area high school's job fair" → "few employees go to a high school's job fair"
  • "Pam does venture to a booth " → "Pam ventures to a booth "

Gary King (talk) 22:28, 26 June 2008 (UTC)Reply

Fixed the prose issues you mentioned along with some others that I've found. --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 22:40, 26 June 2008 (UTC)Reply
  • Still need an "and" here: "The Office, the show's " → "The Office, and the show's " – otherwise, it might as well be split up into two sentence
  • "the one's who" → "the ones who"
  • "At first the client " → "At first, the client "
  • "to be not interested in talking about businees," → "to not be interested in talking about businees,"
  • "suppliers, he" → "suppliers; he" – the semicolon needs to be there otherwise the break between the two phrases seems awkward
  • "After much" → "However, after much" – "however" because the preceding sentence says that he is not interested; his change of mind seems so sudden, that a conjunction word should be placed here

There are probably a few more similar examples like these throughout the article. I think a second pass-through should be made. Cheers. Gary King (talk) 23:15, 26 June 2008 (UTC)Reply

Mastrchf and I both went through the article. Here's what we found: [1] --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 14:47, 29 June 2008 (UTC)Reply

Congratulations! This article now meets the Good Article criteria, and has therefore been passed. Gary King (talk) 17:39, 29 June 2008 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for your time! --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 18:13, 29 June 2008 (UTC)Reply